Mumsnet Talk

I have short hair and have done for years.
When i met dh, i had just shaved it. Number 6 so about a cm long.
Since then ive had a variety of lengths, i did have a short bob for my wedding and then cut it short a week later.

Reason for posting - recently on a work lunch with about 20 people from another company, hair length be came a topic of conversation.

One of the guys said he hated short hair. Another said, yeh but what if you were going out with penelope cruz and she got a hair cut!

Well, the answer was 'dumped'.

Now, im very comfortable with my hair choice and also comfortable knowing most women i know have hair longer than the shoulders.

What does bother me is the fact this man decided a lovely women wouldnt be worth anything of she cut her hair short.

This is peppered with my own feelings i know ... I have horrible hair when long and cant see a good reason to grow it.

I cant reconcile between my belief that women should be able to have there hair how they like, and the fact this man thought short hair was repellant.

I wonder why?
Does anyone know what im saying, im a bit confused myself so might not be concise, or i might be missing something fundamental maybe a lovely long haired lady can tell me.

He's a twat, that's why.

I have quite long hair myself, but don't care how other women wear theirs.

I agree with cheerful my hair is very long, but I was admiring a woman with very short hair in the supermarket yesterday. Mine suits me, hers definitely suited her.

I like short hair on women but isn't it just a preference, like blonde or brunette? I never fancied men with curly hair until I met my DH, who had very short hair when we met and I was a bit when it grew in a bit and it was curly.

If this guy said he wouldn't hire or promote a woman with short hair, that would be unacceptable.

I used to have very long hair. I have had various mid length styles and bobs and always looked a bit meh. I have a number 2 now and I definitely look better and get loads of compliments.

I don't think he has decided that she has suddenly become worthless if she cuts her hair short, more that he has no interest in her worth to start with.

Saying that though, a lot of people do have a 'type' an wouldn't be attracted to anyone who varied very far from that type.

That guy was a twat. End.

I have mid length hair. If I could carry off super short, I would, but I don't think I have the face/head for it!

I'm v jealous of your short hair

Ah, i guess you may have had to see his horrified face at the idea of short hair. Im pleased in a way he could say it in my presence, if he has views at least they are open and honest.
Of course he is an example i don't want to go overboard on him, but he did say he would dump a girlfriend if she cut her hair short. The Penelope cruz bit was his colleague saying yeh but what if she was your favourite film star!

I guess i also wonder if its a very ingrained symbol of femininity.

"I don't think he has decided that she has suddenly become worthless if she cuts her hair short, more that he has no interest in her worth to start with. "

This. It's not about the hair. It's about the fact he sees women as objects, and hence, how they look matters, because there's nothing inside to matter.

He was a shit. I also prefer short hair

And further to this, what if said girl friend had cancer, and lost all her hair.
Why would that be different in his eyes.

Etc

so the guy doesn't fancy women with short hair

the same way I don't fancy bald men?

it's one person's opinin and means nothing -obviously your DH thinks otherwise

don't see yor problem?

"I don't think he has decided that she has suddenly become worthless if she cuts her hair short, more that he has no interest in her worth to start with."

Ah, this makes sense.

Sausages
Im not sure what my problem was either, i am exploring that here

tbh i'm not keen on men with shaved heads or mean with really long hair. that being said, if i was going out with someone long term and the shaved their heads or decided to grow it long it wouldn't be a dumping offence. you'd probably find that if that same guy was actually going out with penelope cruz and after a while she cut her hair he wouldn't dump her either. but yes if someone with lets say, a mullet was trying to gain my affections, they'd stand a better chance after a decent haorcut

Hair is incredibly personal and everyone should of course have what they want; But equally we must be free to like or dislike.

Anyone who dumps someone because of their hairstyle is rather shallow and stupid to say the least.

I have had all sorts of hair (other than permed) over the years, DH never really commented as he knew it could mean trouble. He recently did admit he prefers me with longer hair (coincidentally I have hair just past the shoulders at the moment!)

If he wouldn't start going out with someone with short hair because he doesn't find that attractive, fair enough.

If he really would dump someone for getting a haircut he wouldn't like, he's very shallow.

Most likely he wouldn't, and he's confused the first with the second, and is just not very good at thinking.

I am not a fan of men with beards, and it is unlikely that a man with a beard would get my attention in that way because I would not think of him as fanciable. But if DP grew a beard I might still fancy him because I know of his other qualities and I already think of him that way.

Okay, i think i may have overthought this issue.
I can live with that

I certainly wouldnt want him to be without the right of expressing his views and it made for a few laughs after and a few fearful looks as he was sitting opposite me.

Maybe i will join you ... Im not a fan of huge muscles but i Love beards.
See, i can do it it. Whoops.

I think the correct answer is If YOU were going out with Penelope Cruz? That's really not a situation that you need to devote much thought to mate.

On reading my mind went over to the David Beckham advert. The MNers who said they would be happy to have his company, as long as he didn't speak. And I thought perhaps it was thinking along the same vein as "If I had my perfect partner they would have....but they wouldn't....."

In reality I doubt many would turn down a date with Mr Beckham whether he sat and loudly read the script to Twilight to them, but that was the "game" they were playing.

Time for Zippy1111 to step up and point out that here women are discussing a topic that's about choices for women, but which for most men in our society, comes with very little freedom at all.

I'd love to be able to carry off really short hair! I had really straggly long hair (not attractive!) for years, but got it cut a year ago to a chin length bob. My head is so round though I'd look like a football or Charlie Brown if I had it very short!

My issue is I'm trying not to dye as I think grey hair is cool - sadly, mines growing in right now. So doesn't look good!

I would suspect that the number of women with extremely short hair/shaved heads is probably fairly similar to the number of men with very long hair. Both are convention busters which would probably not be tolerated in conservative workplaces/circles.

I'd agree that the guy in question was a bit of an idiot, but it sounds like banter to me so I'd not really be bothered. I feel the same way about beards though (I like them) if I was playing 'fantasy men' there are a few who with beards would hit the list and without would be on the cutting room floor.

That doesn't mean I'd dump dh if he shaved, I'd just fancy him that little bit less for a few days.

I think gray hair is cool too! I have very light creepy blue eyes and I'm excited to have silver hair someday. It'll look witchy and cool.

On further thinking, I may be strange.

Grey hair looks fantastic on some people (as does white). On others not so good. I currently have blond and red streaks in my dark brown hair. My mother said I looked like a demented zebra. Thanks Mum!

I think you just need to feel confident that you like the way you look.

Creepy light blue eyes and silver hair sounds fab.

I have very short hair. If I met someone who said they would dump a woman because of it, I would think myself lucky that he would never be interested in me and keep it short to ward off other knobbers with the same attitude.