I have really changed my views on Feminism since being on MN

[theodorakis]

Up until about a year ago I was one of those people who rolled their eyes at the mention of feminists and offence taken by women about womens issues (not always but you know what I mean).
Now I would call myself a feminist in that I had never really considered issues like domestic violence, discrimination or inequality to be a problem that affected me so I didn't care. I never bothered to see the subtle but constant images, reports etc that continue to affect ALL women. I didn't even realise how much I had changed until the wolf whistle thread in AIBU. I respect other people's views, sure, but am shocked that both genders still find these behaviours normal and can't see any link to the bigger picture. I am not massively intelligent or well read in the subject but I am glad that I have become so much more balanced and I am sure my relationship with other women has changed as a result, especially to those who I manage at work. Thank you MN.

[KRITIQ]

Excellent stuff theo! I find I learn new things all the time and MN is a great resource for that, for challenging and stretching ideas and views on all sorts of issues.

[MissFaversham]

Me too. Mind you it causes rucks at home

[BasilFoulTea]

Yep, thanks MN.

It's good for that, educating and challenging.

[blackcurrants]

I've learned lots and lots here - MN is bloody brilliant.

[GeekCool]

I could totally have written that OP too! My eyes are truly open. Although I would previously have defended a woman's right with the caveat 'I'm not a feminist'

Now though, I'm out and proud to be one

[AbsofAwesomeness]

I've had Friends ruined for me. I now watch it and think "man, Ross is a controlling tosser. GET OVER YOURSELF" and I watched the final episode recently and was thinking "NO Rachel! Go to Paris! Leave the Bastard!"

[LeeCoakley]

I agree with you OP. Great post.

[BasilFoulTea]

Oh yes Abs definitely.

And the Big Bang Theory
I love it but OMG the depiction of women is atrocious

[TrophyEyes]

Friends and The Big Bang Theory is all that's been ruined for you?

I'm seeing sexism almost everywhere. Went and took the red pill, didn't I? vague Matrix reference

[BasilFoulTea]

Trophy - I avoid nearly everything else anyway.

Oh dear, Cosi Fan Tutti was a trial....

[carernotasaint]

Me too. I recently disagreed with a bloke who made a comment on a fb page.His comment was that he disagreed that men find it easier to lose weight than women. This was on an sw fb page and i replied that i disagreed with him. I might have made a few comments that have prob not made me popular though. But since rediscovering feminism last year its made me a bit braver about voicing my opinion.

[miloben]

I completely agree. I see it everywhere now...watching Independence Day for example, I notice Will (puke) Smith called the spaceship 'she'...then I thought that is what we all do - we call cars, ships, planes and all that jazz, 'girls'!! We refer to them as 'she'. Almost like if we called them 'boys' and 'he' we would be devaluing the male.

[ComradeJing]

Yes, I'm exactly the same. I hadn't experienced the obvious sexual discrimination of lower pay, had been to an all girls school and just thought feminists were ugly, angry women who wanted women to be better than men instead of equal to men - which obviously we already are so why we're they getting so cross?

I can now comfortably say, to a room full of people, that I'm a feminist.

I'm not very well read in feminist theory but, as I've recently come to understand, that doesn't make me less of a feminist. It is patriarchal bullshit that makes us think that because we don't have all the answers (ie we haven't read enough) that the feminist argument is somehow flawed.

IMO once you have the scales removed from your eyes by feminism you realize just how damaging it is to women and men and how it touches every single part of our lives and you see all of messages that just reinforce the bullshit and make us think it is normal.

[EauRouge]

Me too.

I get offended by somethings that previously I would have either ignored or not said anything for fear of standing out. But now I say something and I don't give a monkeys if people roll their eyes at me or tut- it's important and I can't just ignore sexual discrimination, rape jokes, sexual harassment etc.

[NormaStanleyFletcher]

Me too :)

[victorialucas]

Milobean- yes watching independence day I was thinking is this why people see 'exotic' dancers (as she calls herself) as 'empowered' women earning 'well'. A big film like that sends a v powerful legitimising message out.

[swallowedAfly]

yay! this is a nice thread

it has definitely changed my relationship with women too. i met an awesome woman at a party the other night who was late because she'd caught her son using porn and saw it as an emergency that she had to have a big fucking talk with him about how degrading and damaging to women porn was and how he must not think that what he saw portrayed was in any way the right way to treat or perceive women. we had such a good conversation and i instantly really admired her and knew she was 'one of us'

i actually find it hard to communicate meaningfully with people who don't get it now.

[swallowedAfly]

so yes - i'm always pleased to see people coming over to feminism because it means more people i can respect and really connect with hard to be friends with someone who is full of internalised misogyny that they don't even question.

[MardyBra]

I've always been a feminist, but have found that lurking on these boards has helped me to shape up ideas and challenge some attitudes where I may have lapsed a little.

My family are now aware of the Bechdel test, and dd applies it to her viewing.

[marga73]

I've always thought a lot about the question of calling myself a feminist or not. It's hard to for any particular ideological movement to embrace so many voices but it's especially hard for Feminism because when we talk about the situation of women in society and the world as a whole, there are many discrepancies and we might not be all be united in our views. A lot of women, I've noticed, are perfectly happy with things as they are now and three hundred years ago, painful as this can be, we have to respect their views too.

I can say confidently I'm a feminist because of the following:

1. Women had to fight to get access to education. Now we got it.
   

2.We had to fight to enter the work force. The battle is not completely won, but we've come a long way

1. Women now have to fight for equality in the house. Even though women go to work, they still do 90% of the domestic work, especially those with children. It's like having an extra full time job. I'm a feminist because the situation of women when they become mothers is not fair/equal, and men and women need to change this to create a better society.

[Mbear]

I lurk all the time and have learnt a shed load. Massive thanks to everyone who posts and ask questions.

My views have been refined, informed and validated.

[SardineQueen]

Me too!

I always knew something wasn't right, from how so many men and boys behaved when I was a schoolgirl/teen. And how while I was outraged, so many of my friends thought that treatment was normal. I described myself as a feminist but didn't really know much.

Then I got pg in my 30s and joined MN and was on a thread about something and Dittany was there! Which was a revelation for me, she said in an uncompromising way what I was sort of trying to think. Articulated ideas I only half knew I had.

I have learnt so much. From everyone. It is great here

[MrsJamin]

Indeed loving the MN strength in feminism nowadays. However I still can't explain to DH what is wrong with the F1 pit babes. He says they do it of their own free will and are paid and I don't know where to start! Help!

[SardineQueen]

Ah yes.
I had the same problem with the women who hold the umbrellas over the people who are waiting to race in motorcycle races.
And there are the lovelies who flank the stage winners on the tour de france
And I really like snooker and they have a new televised comp and guess what young women in few clothes all over the place
WHY?
They must know that women watch these sports in great numbers and that men will watch the sports whether there are young women as decoration or not...
So WHY?
I feel like the organisers are trying to make some kind of point somtimes

[Heyyyho]

Me too. Completely opened my eyes.