I was at a christening today. Had my picture taken with dp and dd and I look huge. Look like I've swallowed a ball and my face is all chubby.
When I met dp I was a slim 12. I'm now a comfortable size 16 five years on and put on 3 stone.
To make matters worse I'm going to an all inclusive holiday to Ibiza tomorrow and I've been dreading it because I feel disgusting. In a world of selfies, bikinis and showing off gorgeous clothes I just want to crawl under a rock and hide.
I thought I looked quite pretty in a maxi dress but the picture confirmed I look horrid. What I see in the mirror and in a photo are totally different.
I've been under a lot of stress lately and I've seeked comfort in food. When I'm in a depressed mood I have no desire to cook and I've often phoned in a takeaway to save myself more stress of buying, cooking and cleaning up.
I do enjoy cooking and cook healthy meals when I do cook but I have big portions and always look for something sweet after.
I need to change. I cannot go through life looking and feeling like this. I said to dp I was going to eat healthily on holiday and he just laughed, saying it's impossible to lose weight at an all inclusive holiday.
I'm just so embarrassed about my body. I'm not sure I can look at junk food the same way. I want to enjoy life. Have confidence. Run around with dp in a pair of shorts in the summer and not feel embarrassed or flabby. I had to go to the chemist and ask for anti chafe cream because my thaighs are so huge.
I want to go on holiday and enjoy myself but I just feel like crying knowing I will be surrounded by beautys in their skimpy swimwear and heres me sitting worrying about chaffing and hiding my celulite.
Words of comfort needed.
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just saw that photo...
9 replies
diamond457 · 03/07/2016 21:00
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