Used to be thin, did I have a brain transplant

[Fatasfcuk]

Hello! awkward silence

Ladies, i need your help. I used to be thin, once upon a time. And it's not like it was decades ago as I am only 22 at the moment. I used to be a very healthy size 10 and did not have any eating issues, ate when hungry and skipped meals when full. I had a brain.
I got pregnant with my ds when I was 18 and in uni and somehow made the very wrong decision of keeping the baby. He is here now and although I love him to bits my whole world has turned upside down. During the pregnancy I gained a shit ton of weight.
I was depressed and I think i still am.
My weight however is the thing that bothers me the most. A few days ago I had symptoms of a heart attack and went into my local A&E and was diagnosed with having a clot in my lung. Got some injections and they gave me the clear now, however the doctor said that the only factor that could have caused this clot, as i am so young and no family history was my weight.
The doc weighed me . I was 17.1 st, i am 5 feet 6
I used to be 9 st before I got pg. I eat like i have no brain left, did i have a brain transplant? How can my eating habits change so much in a period of 3 years?
The thing is I want to live, I dont want to die from a clot or a heart attack. I want to start posting an online diary here of my food and exercise so that you lovely ladies can help me in making better choices about food, somedays i fast for 47 hours, next i spend the whole day eating crap, no food, just crap.
The thing is i am a vegetarian and i have considered eating meat as I am anemic and eating fish or beef makes me so full and satisfied. Is it worth it? I have been a veggie since birth and find it a bit yucky to swallow meat. Please advice . There are so many diets out there my brain can't handle all the conflicting information. I just want to go back to being normal, healthy and happy :(
Today I had
Omlette with onions,tomatoes and chilli + one white toast
Lunch was a plain corn on the cob
Dinner was 3 white tomato sandwiches with cream cheese + Nesquick milkshake.
And the only saving grace is that for the past 2 weeks (since I had clot diagnosed) i have been exercising like a maniac, I am a SAHM so exercise when ds is sleeping. Today I did half and hour on the cross trainer, an 30 min exercise video and 100 squats and lunges. It's not a pleasant picture imagining a 17 stone me doing all this but i can, my stamina is ok.

Waiting for your replies !

[TaraKnowles]

Firstly what enormous life changes you have had. Going from being a care free student to a mum, and your future has changed to from what you must have planned.

Lots of people now have one or more career change, you can still have a career, you are so young. I was only twenty when I had my first, I have been a shopkeeper, teacher and banker since then. Pick something more fun than them though! You have the world at your feet.

As for the weight I have very little advice. Can you imagine how nice you would feel without your extra weight? Keep posting here for better advice.

[vaseoftulips]

Well, I am 5' 4", 9.5 stone and a size 10/12. I'm early forties and have always weighed been 9 and 10 stone. I have never dieted ever.

I always eat breakfast, lunch and dinner. I always eat a wide variety of things. If I'm a bit naughty one day I naturally seem to be good for a day or so after that. I also try not to buy snacks for the cupboard as that is really fatal. I've been known to eat well over half a large pack of digestive biscuits in one go...

Protein is really important. It fills you up and gives you energy. The Food Doctor (various books) are a really good read as they tell what you should eat for each meal and how much. A lot of people eat too much without realising it. I never bothered following the diet but the principles are really good and sensible.

Exercise is good. You just need to be consistent. Even a 20 minute walk will help. You don't need to run a marathon!

Don't be too hard on yourself either. You've made a start which is great so give yourself a pat on the back.

[tiredbuthappyworkingmum]

Why not try to replace white bread with something more healthy? Respect for the amount of exercise..

[slimsoon]

I am following this young woman's blog www.facebook.com/theshrinkingvioletblog

Really keeps me motivated .

[Fatasfcuk]

Hello ladies!
Thanks for all the replies! I am going to buy the food doctor book,it's not one I have read. I definately think my portion size is good enough for 2 people, I will monitor that. The blog is great, my meals look so dull in comparison though. .
I don't even own a pair of weighing scales. That's why the doctor's results shocked me. I have not owned one for the past 3 years. Do you ladies recommened one? I would like one that measures body fat, water etc. A few I purchased ended up showing a different reading everytime, so had to be returned.

[Fatasfcuk]

Yes i agree white bread is no good, that will be swapped. Or i might just leave it out , I'm the only one who eats bread in our house.

[BikeRunSki]

Lots of large pharmacies and sports centres have coin operated scales. When I have lots weight I always use those because they are properly calibrated and maintained and more accurate than domestic scales that move around, are likely to be on soft floors and affected by steam, temperature. I lost 3 stone a year ago and still check myself once a month at Boots near work. For 50p your get weight and for 20p more you get body fat etc. I'd recommend you find a time in the week that you can get to a set of scales like this and go at the same time every week, wearing the same set of clothes. By only going once a week you don't weigh everyday and obsess over short term fluctuations.

And keeping your child is not a mistake! The girl I reported to in my previous (professional) job was a year older than me and a lot senior. She was at Uni also when she pg at 18. She had her daughter and started Uni again when her daughter started school. I imagine it's hard but not impossible. My mother did her degree whilst raising 4 dc. It took her 7 years, she kept having time off to have a baby.

[Fatasfcuk]

Thanks for the words of encouragemenf BikeRunski. I did manage to get a pair of scales from Tesco.
I weighed myself today- 16.9 stone. Will update weight next week. And I have used those 70p bodyfat analyser scales at Boots, but my nearest boots does not have them. I will check for other places that do.
So far I have had :- B- 2 hard boiled eggs+tea no sugar
Snack- Muller yog(lemon) , 4 nairns
Oatcakes
Lunch- Homemade spring veggie soup+banana.
I'm not hungry, maybe the humiliation I would endure if I have to post here about eating cake or crisps is keeping me away from them. I will post after dinner :)

[daisydee43]

Hi oh I hope you don't regret having your baby - yes you have to be selfless now but this is what will help you lose weight. I'm 26 used to weigh 9st at 16 but now healthy size 10. Having dd helped me lose weight and by her 1st birthday is lost 2.5st. I have kept it off for a year now. Had very bad eating disorders when younger but being a mum has made me care abt her and not be selfish. I use my fitness pal app and that was all. I really hope you can let the weight no longer be a priority

[Fatasfcuk]

Daisydee I do agree I am a bit selfish. I feel like a sportscar that has never left the garage. :( I will work on that. Congratulations on your weightloss. I hope I can be my pre pg weight before ds's 3rd bd(end of october)

For dinner I had the same portion of soup i had for lunch, with half a tomato sandwich on seeded bread. I got the bred, I gave in. But I will try to limit the portion size.

So that's it for today. There's yogurt in the fridge and I really crave it but I'm just going to sleep now. I admit I am hungry. My gut has distended so much,maybe thats why.
I will download my fitness pal now, have heard a lot of people talk about it.
See you tomorrow. Goodnight tummy rumbles

[MrsFlorrick]

Are you me? I used to be thin before having my DC.

I gained over 6 stone the first time. Lost it again.
And gained over 7 stone with DC2

DC2 is 2.5 yo now and through a massive effort I have lost all but 1lb of that gain.

You didn't make a mistake keeping your son. Not at all. And he is very lucky to have a young mum. I'm 40 so my DC don't have a mum with that much energy.

Don't despair about the weight.

Lots of ways of eating of there.
I've tried:
Jason vale juice diet (effective but way too hard core)
Dukan diet (extremely effective but you won't have much energy and if you fall off the wagon you gain it back quickly)
Weight watchers (didn't work for me.)
Calorie counting (works ok)
Low carb (didn't work too well. I did it for 6 months and lost little. Very restrictive)
5:2 (works like a charm. So easy to do and stick to. No food is banned or excluded, you don't need any special food and you can still have the odd treat if you build it into your week).

Get yourself onto the MN 5:2 threads. And download the My Fitness Pal app which is free to use. It counts calories for you (even has a barcode scanner and you can add whole recipes) and you can add exercise to it as well.

You can do this. I am pretty much look like I did pre pregnancy (ok older obv and stretch marks on tummy). But I do look like my old self.

You will too.

Keep posting and join one of the threads for support.
The support I've had on diet threads on mN has been amazing and a life saver really.

[basia2]

When I notice my eating habits are out of whack, I find it useful to fast for a day or two, then eat extremely minimally for a few days more.
After three or four days of little to no food, I always find that I am not very hungry anymore, and can go back to eating moderately and with control. It's like hitting the reset button on my eating habits.
I've hears others say this doesn't work for them, that they get so hungry they start to binge, etc.
I guess everyone is different, but this is what has always worked for me.
An additional benefit to fasting for a few days is that you will likely lose a quick 3 to 5 pounds; it may be just water weight, but still, it can JumpStart your diet and motivate you to want to lose more.
To me, no food makes me feel as good as I feel when my clothes fit loosely and comfortably.

[Fatasfcuk]

Mrsflorrick, that is great! You make it sound so easy, not fair! :) I will definately look ino the5:2 diet as that's the one i have not heard anything about and it sounds interesting. Thanks for your words of encouragement.
Basia- That actually makes sense, to hit a reset button. The only hard thing I guess is- to not eat anything but water for 2 days. I have done it before, big mistake, as I have low blood pressure and I get blackouts! Weight it sure does get rid off, I'm happy it works for you! I'm looking forward to the day my size 18 clothes are too big on me and I have to get a size down.

So today i was a good girl except for when i had a meringue nest and a sugary muller yogurt.
BF- A plain seeded toast, half and avocado, hard boiled egg. I found that the 2 boiled eggs I had a day ago kept me a lot fuller than this toast avocado combo.
Lunch- Homemade lentil soup (2 servings). Lentils peas carrots cooked with a veg stock cube,turmeric. This kept me really full. I used yellow lentils.
Dinner- Mushroom stirfry with tofu. Instead of a packet sauce i used light soy, salt and vinegar. Thats it. I'm still hungry now. Goodnight for today, I hope i dont dream of food(like I did tonight) .

[Fatasfcuk]

Oh and for exercise - I did a 20 minute fitnessblender video. Then in the evening I did some leg workouts, weights and cooled off with some yoga. I love yoga, have been doing it since I was 13 :) . My ds has started copying me when I do squats and lunges. It's the funniest thing to watch, little man you dont need to tone your booty anymore !!! :D

[JohnnyDeppsfuturewife]

Hi fatasfcuk (I hate typing that in, feels so rude to call someone that!)

I have lost 61 lbs using mfp and chatting to lovely ladies on here. There are so many approaches to losing weight that I'd suggest you lurk on a few threads, look up recipes, ask questions, work out if there was a psychological reason for your weight gain and think about how you can change your lifestyle in the long term. I lost it through low cal because it most fitted into my lifestyle. I'm close to my target and a bit scared of maintaining but that's another subject.

I love the image of your little man exercising with you. My 3 year old dd tried to help me yesterday too. So cute.

[Fatasfcuk]

Hello MrsJohnnyDepp. It's okay, it's the truth, for a person of my height 17 stone is fatasfck :)
Oh my! 61lbs! You ladies are really motivating. It makes me feel that if other mums can do it, so can I. I have been lurking on the weightloss chat forums here and I am truly inspired by everyone's story. I woudn't want to be an exception.
Today was not so good. I had pasta(my weakness) and a scone.
So BF- porridge oats(i detest porridge, just managed to drink it) with skimmed milk and water.
Snack- banana and plain yogurt.
Lunch- Veggie pasta. I only had one serving. Was tempted to go for a second one but put it in the freezer istead.
In the eve my DH made me his "special tea". That must be 200 cals in itself- 2 teaspoons sugar AND evaporated milk and i had that with a scone.
Guilt set in soon afterwards.
So for dinner i had my lentil soup with a hardboiled egg and cucumber salad. I am still full from my pasta.
I do love pasta but the days i eat it my stomach hurts so much and I can't sleep at night. The wholegrain variety is even worse.
Has anyone got a replacement for pasta?
I have also not exercised today. Does sexytime count :D ??

[Heathbaby]

It sounds like you're doing brilliantly. If you are up for something new, I would give Slimming World a shot. I reckon attending a weekly group with others might help keep you going but the main plus of SW is you get to eat pasta - as much as you like of it! In your posts you make it clear you often go to bed hungry - you never have to do that on SW, as most healthy food is free. There is also a version which is designed for vegetarians 'the green plan'. Well done on getting started, you sound like a very strong person to me!!! X

[horsetowater]

I think if you've put that much weight on just through one pregnancy within 2 years you might have a problem with your thyroid or another medical problem. Pregnancy can often bring out a problem that was either undiagnosed previously or something triggered by a change in hormones.

If you stayed indoors and did nothing but eat pies and sit on the sofa for 2 years, maybe 7 stone is a fair weight gain, but it seems you have been fairly active what with looking after a baby and going to Uni. Have you been to the doctors about it? (you might have to be persistent).

[horsetowater]

Sorry I see that you have been to the doctor. I suggest you go back and bang your fists on the table.

Also handy hint - don't ever say you regret having your child again. Especially not in public. There are times when we feel that but if it persists for more than a split second you are probably suffering from depression of some kind.

[4x4]

sounds so grim but cauliflower grated and boiled , boiled whole and mashed or roasted its a great replacement for pasta.

[Fatasfcuk]

Heathbaby I will look into the SW plan but at the moment I can't afford it to be honest as I am not working and our finances don't permit me to. Once I do go back to work, even if it's part-time I will sign up. No harm in trying! I used to have a pair of kitchen scales. Must bring them out. :)
Horsetowater- I put on the weight durin preg and have sadly maintained most of the weight after ds was born. I used to be very active before I got pg and went to the gym everyday 7 days a week. When I got pg and after his birth I have hardly exercised(only just started 2 weeks ago). The only thing overactive is my mouth lol. Thyroid function tests were all normal.
Im sorry if that sounded offensive but what I meant to say was that I wish I had known how hard it is to be a mum and raise a child without any family around and DH working 6days a week. If I could see this life, I would have made different decisions. But it does not matter now as I have accepted my life. Talking diplomatically is something I never learnt while growing up :( And mumsnet is the first place I have ever shared how I felt.
4x4 I love cauliflower. But have never had it mashed. I will try that tomorrow. What do i season it with ?

[MurielHeslopp]

Hi Fatasfcuk don't worry about sounding offensive. There's been many a Mumsnetter who has claimed to having regrets regarding having children. They are usually at stressful moments/ low points in life and it usually passes very quickly. If it doesn't pass, as you said yourself, you may be suffering with depression.
I had my first child at 21 and I remember feeling kind of trapped and 'stuck' at a point in my life that I couldn't move on from. Also, very envious of friends who were still having fun/ seeing the world/ earning money. I'm now 31. I chose more of the 'mum' route and had 2 more children and wouldn't change a thing. Love every minute. At your age you can absolutely still do anything you originally planned, it's just that little bit harder with a child but he's starting to get older now so I hope you can see a bit of light at the end of the tunnel.
Anyway I'm just noseying around on Weight Loss Chat as I have 3 stubborn stone to shift. Chocolate is the offender.

[Fatasfcuk]

Hello Muriel! Thanks for the words of encouragement.All my friends have cut contact with me as I am no longer "in their league" as I am a full time mum while they are masters students,travellers and journalists. I hope I can make some nice friends on Mumsnet. The ladies here are so lovely and understanding!
Chocolate used to be my weakness till i had my son,then my tastebuds changed completely.

[horsetowater]

OK there are drawbacks to having a child young, but you have one very distinct physical advantage - that is collagen. When you lose this weight you will snap back and look as good if not better than you did before.

Enjoy motherhood while it lasts, it might seem like a life sentence (it is, kind of) but it won't be long before they will be as independent as you are and then you'll have your freedom back - with a massive unbroken career trajectory ahead of you. Unlike me who's making a last desperate stab at one before the brain seizes up.

[EagleRay]

Hi Fatas - sorry you've had such a hard time with your weight and health problems. Am glad you've ruled out thyroid as wondered initially if that might be causing problems.

I had DD a year ago and in recent years have really struggled with my weight (combination of pituitary disease and being a bit greedy!) Lost all the pregnancy weight but now my body stubbornly sticks to the same weight and I need to lose around 10kg to get down to a healthy weight.

I'm also veggie, and speaking as someone who really struggles to keep her weight down, here's some things that I hope are useful:

• Find a plan that you can realistically stick to in the long term, whatever it is
  
• Focus on the first few lbs/kg to lose, rather than the overall loss, which can be a bit daunting.
  
• Continue with your food diary! It's much easier to spot bad habits when you write things down. It will also make you think about consequences when you eat something
  
• Some foods to try - quinoa is a great source of protein, and is delicious with feta cheese, roast squash and salad. I sometimes have a veggie breakfast as a non-breakfast meal - scrambled eggs, quorn sausages, mushrooms etc - v filling and high in protein. I usually have home-made soup for lunch, and eat it with a toasted wholemeal pitta and some spicy houmous.
  

Exercise has been hard as am now working full time and there's very little time to do anything. I've also had to accept that my body will never be slim (I'm 42) so have decided to focus instead on getting strong! I have a session with a personal trainer once a week where I do interval training and weights. It's been fantastic doing exercise a different way and am noticing a difference already. During the week I do interval training at home when I can (my bike is on a turbo trainer in the lounge and I do an 8 minute routine) plus do various exercises with free weights.

My weight is still a bit stuck, but I'm getting fitter and am hoping that with a few tweaks to my diet, the weight will start to go down again.

Keep going, and good luck!