I know this topic has been hugely overdone before but I'm feeling frustrated and wanted to know people's thoughts...
DP and I don't have children. All during our wedding planning we have agreed no children will be invited (apart from bridal party which consists of godchildren and nieces/nephews) due to the fact that with family and friends children we'd have about 25 in the day and probably another 20 at night.
I know people have differing views on this but personally I'd prefer not to have excessive numbers of children there. Not to mention the cost at £40 a head. Plus I'm pretty confident that this wouldn't be an issue for the majority of our guests as most weddings we've been too in the past few years have been pretty child free.
Now initially we were having no cousins to the day. Aunts and uncles only. MIL expressed her unhappiness with this and offered to pay (for her side of the family) to enable cousins to attend. So we conceded.
This left me in an awkward position of cousins on my side remaining as night guests. But I thought my family were relaxed enough to understand.
MIL has now decided that cousins children should also come 'as it would be nice for niece to play with cousins child'. Only 3 on DP side but I'm now even more conscious that I have no cousins on my side yet cousins plus second cousins on his side.
It also then seems unfair that we are asking friends to get sitters (of children we actually see) whereas cousins we see once in 18 months can bring theirs. My DP was in agreement with me but after lots of secretive input from MIL is now changing his mind. To the point of suggesting maybe all kids are invited.
To add those kids, my cousins and their kids would add £700 onto our bill. To add all kids would be much much more. It's not as much that we can't afford it...more like should we pay for people we don't see from year to year? DP cousins never ever come see us / get in touch - to the point where we have seen their 3 years old once and 18month old never.
I've now had an evening guest (friend) ask if they can bring their two kids. Unsure what to reply as originally it would be no. But now the goal posts are moving I don't want to say no then them turn up and see other kids there and wonder why?
I am more annoyed as I feel this is his mother rather than him. And we've been in agreement for 12 months and now invites are going out and it's suddenly all changing?!
I'm not anti child at all just would rather it be a more adult event. AIBU?
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Inviting children
24 replies
KT1366 · 23/05/2016 07:54
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