Friend wants to bring man she's never met?

(33 Posts)
PlacedInAnAwkwardPosition Mon 11-Mar-13 06:10:53

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TheChaoGoesMu Sun 17-Mar-13 22:23:44

Sounds like a great compromise op.

KatAndKit Sun 17-Mar-13 09:41:45

Going to a wedding dateless is not so bad. I met my fiance at a wedding so quite glad i attended it on my own really.
I do get what you mean about not wanting a bunch of people you don't know at your wedding. I have had similar issues with my family and do regret not putting my foot down a little bit.

Still18atheart Mon 11-Mar-13 13:56:12

YABU unless you didn't state friend + 1 on the invite

I couldn't imagine going to a wedding dateless

You never watched the movie the Wedding Date.

If the guy is coming that week anyway for her birthday then that will put your friend in a horrible position. She will either have to cancel on you or leave him on his own for the day. Will one more person really make a difference?

HorribleMother Mon 11-Mar-13 13:41:37

I wouldn't have a problem with it, either. Even if she had been dating the guy for years that doesn't mean OP would know he's not a loon.

Bet someone OP knows well will be the worst trouble-maker on the night.

GladbagsGold Mon 11-Mar-13 13:21:31

Your friend's response sounds fine to me - I have to say I think every wedding needs a random person at it!

ThingummyBob Mon 11-Mar-13 13:17:53

I think YABVU in not allowing a friend a plus one at your wedding grin

Weddings are miserable events to be at without a date/friend whatever!

YANBU to not want an internet randomer around on your big day.

<<gets off fence and removes splinters from bum>>

PlacedInAnAwkwardPosition Mon 11-Mar-13 13:10:10

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TheRealFellatio Mon 11-Mar-13 11:35:17

It sounds a bit weird, but if you were okay initially with her bringing a plus one then i don't think you have a right to judge her on who that plus one is.

Actually that's a very good point and I think I must rethink my original answer. In my defence I couldn't see further than my mother wanting to bring her new beau who I had never met to my wedding.

I do think it is a very odd first date though and I'm surprised she has chosen it.

In all honesty, I"d apologise and say there is no room for another guest.

Is there an evening reception part you can invite him to?

Trills Mon 11-Mar-13 10:01:22

You're not unreasonable at all to only want partners there if you know them.

TheChaoGoesMu Mon 11-Mar-13 09:57:36

YANBU to not want an extra guest, YABU to pass judgment on who her guest would be if she had had a plus one.

^ ^ ^ ^

HollaAtMeBaby Mon 11-Mar-13 07:50:55

Just say no. She didn't have a plus one invitation so she's on dodgy ground asking to bring one at all, let alone an internet random who neither you NOR SHE has met!!! How much are you spending per guest?

Dear Friend

I'm afraid we are at capacity for the venue now - and in any case, we were actually hoping for a small wedding with only close friends and family. I'm sorry InternetRandom can't come, but hope you'll still be able to, as I've been really looking forward to having you there on the day.

lots of love


YellowAndGreenAndRedAndBlue Mon 11-Mar-13 07:31:12

The point is, she is not invited 'plus one'. If she were, she chooses her own plus one, but you just say 'sorry, I have no space for a plus one' and do not waver.

YANBU to not want an extra guest, YABU to pass judgment on who her guest would be if she had had a plus one.

I think she was cheeky to ask.
I would just reply saying sorry, you are at maximum numbers so not possible at this stage. If anyone drops out you will let her know. You don't need to elaborate, it could be costs, room capacity etc.
your wedding was in her diary before she 'met' this guy

PlacedInAnAwkwardPosition Mon 11-Mar-13 07:26:20

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Flossbert Mon 11-Mar-13 07:25:24

MrsBucket couldn't the worst that could happen include the guy being an absolutely loon? Unable to hold a drink and starts a fight? Tries cracking on to one of the other guests?

I wouldn't be happy for him to come. With other guests they would know whether their plus ones can behave in a social situation. This guy is not known to anyone.

PlacedInAnAwkwardPosition Mon 11-Mar-13 07:24:20

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

PlacedInAnAwkwardPosition Mon 11-Mar-13 07:23:24

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

X-posted with you OP.

It ends where you decide that it ends.
If you don't have room for them or really don't want them there then you say no.
But that's quite a different matter from what you said in your OP. It was the online dating thing which was mentioned, nothing about pressure from people, or how your ideal wedding has changed etc.

PlacedInAnAwkwardPosition Mon 11-Mar-13 07:21:29

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MrsBucketxx Mon 11-Mar-13 07:20:48

I know how you feel, I ended up cancelling a really big do andgettimg married in scotland with 7 guests and having a reception when we got home.

and there was people I didn't know at the reception. it happens a lot with weddings.

PlacedInAnAwkwardPosition Mon 11-Mar-13 07:20:14

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

It sounds a bit weird, but if you were okay initially with her bringing a plus one then i don't think you have a right to judge her on who that plus one is.
Are you checking out your other guests plus ones and only allowing them to attend if they meet with your approval?

It wouldn't be my choice to invite a first date to a wedding, but if i'd said to my friend that it was fine for her to bring a plus one i wouldn't then base that on who the plus one she was intending to invite along was.

PlacedInAnAwkwardPosition Mon 11-Mar-13 07:17:51

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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