Do people not send thankyou cards anymore?

[miche8]

recently we have been to 2 evening receptions and not received thankyou cards for our gifts. Have to say both weddings were for people we knew years ago and haven't kept in touch, was surprised to be invited actually, they said a quick hello when we arrived and i expected to have a quick chat again later but that didn't happen and i understand there was alot of people but they didn't really mix just sat with the same table.

It all adds up attending weddings, babysitters, taxis, gifts, drinks, outfits, grooming(ok so new outfit and grooming not essential). I'm beginning to wonder whether to accept other invites if they aren't close friends. I did lots of running about finding a perfect gift and its almost like we were invited just for the gift and to make up numbers.

Is this the norm nowadays, not to send a thankyou?

[EdithWeston]

There have been a lot of threads about this recently.

Thanks should always be sent for a present.

Perhaps in your letter of thanks to the hosts of the wedding, you could ask if your present had indeed arrived safely? It might just prompt a letter.

[Likeaheadlesschicken]

People should do.... We got married in May and are just sending ours out. Apparently etiquette states that they should be sent out within three months of the wedding so we were just in time!

[miche8]

oh its not been 3 months yet - perhaps its on its way

[PuppyMonkey]

We did this one to death last week. And the week before. And the week before that.

To sum up the last bonkers one, saying thank you in person is "not enough" and you have to sit down and write it, otherwise it doesn't count

MN is a very odd place sometimes.

[EdithWeston]

On the "bonkers" thread, there were far more posters saying that a written thank you is required (regardless of previous oral exchanges) than those who thought it ok not to do so.

Some clearly do find these courtesies strange, but they were the minority of posters.

[PuppyMonkey]

Yeah, that was me Edith

As I say, MN is very weird IMHO. But I like you.

[FloraFlower]

I wrote thank you letters to everyone who came to our wedding (even the ones who didn't come bearing gifts!).

Our wedding was in the October and I didn't finish writing letters until the January. It's a big job especially if you work full time!

Perhaps you need to be a bit patient.

[JanMorrow]

I have received thank you cards for the two weddings I have been to this year, and will be sending them myself but it will take time. We'll be on honeymoon for three weeks, then we'll want some time to relax and sort out who gave what, and THEN we'll send the cards, probably about 6 weeks after the wedding max though.

[Ragwort]

I've never heard of the 'three month rule' - I find it shocking that people don't send thank you letters more promptly - I mean just how long do you need to 'relax' after a three week honeymoon - it really doesn't take long to write a few thank you notes.

The funniest one I received was so obviously written by the bride's mother - the bride is an incredibly inarticulate and rather 'chav' girl; we received a beautifully written letter which was was clearly from someone of a completely different generation .

[FloraFlower]

Writing 50 odd thank you letters does take quite a while especially if you write something slightly different to each person and you have a full on job!

Everyone is in such a rush these days. Are you shocked you didn't receive one as you left the wedding?

[Likeaheadlesschicken]

ragwort if you google wedding thank you etiquette then three months is given as the maximum amount of time it should take to send your cards out. Clearly the sooner the better, but sometimes this isn't always possible!