BLW and starting nursery

[soundsystem]

DD is 8 months, we've been soon BLW and she now eats 3 meals a day plus snacks.

She's just started nursery 3 days a week and they asked what we wanted to do re food: they offered to purée the meals to feed her. I've said I'm happy for her to be given the same meals as the bigger kids, unpureed/mushed and left to get on with it.

So the first days either DH or I have been there helping her settle in. Day one lunch was cheesy pasta: great, she picked up handfuls and fed herself. Day two: chilli con carne. Not really ideal for self feeding, so key worker fed her with a spoon. DD didn't make a mega fuss but was a bit confused I think and a bit upset/frustrated.

So, any ideas?

On the days it's something she can't easily feed herself do I send her with an alternative? Or am I being a bit precious and need to let them get on with it?

Go easy on me, she's my PFB and she's only been at nursery two days, I accept I may be overthinking this!

[soundsystem]

(I've put this in the nursery topic as well to get more opinions so sorry if you end up reading it twice)

[HeadDreamer]

She will get her pincer grip around 8-9mo and then she will be fine.

DD1 was a spoon refuser and honestly I had no idea how she ate her food. They told me they gave up feeding her with the spoon too and said she's the first they had seen!

I assume she will just eat other stuff if she couldn't handle the chilli?

[HeadDreamer]

DD1 started nursery at 7mo.

[soundsystem]

Thanks, that's reassuring. Her pincer grip is pretty good - she can pick up and eat peas - but not sure about rice. Probably best to just ask them to let her get on with it.

Thing is, there aren't really other things for her to munch on - I think the lunch is what it is. But I can giv her snacks so she can always eat those.

She's in a room of under ones and the others are mostly on milk and the odd bit of puree so it's not like she's sat at a table where there's other things for her to eat, she's just on her own. Maybe I'll see if she can go at the table with the one-to-two year olds if there's space...

[HeadDreamer]

I see. DD1 was in a nursery with 2 babies so share food with the toddlers and preschoolers. They have snacks and breakfast. Maybe have a chat with them what happened if she can't handled the food? I know they gave DD1 bread to dunk into soups. Is she a spoon refuser or you just prefer BLW?

Btw rice is quite easy as they stick. Couscous is the hard one!

[Buglife]

DS is 10 months has just started nursery. Even the babies on pureed food sit round a table and get fed. They are happy to let him self feed but give him a little tray on his chair and move him back a bit for messier things that they can't put on the table for him. Today they had beef curry and rice and chocolate pudding with sauce, they seem to help them eat at the start and then give them a go. He will sort of allow spoon feeding but mainly will take a loaded spoon offered to him and eat from that himself.

[soundsystem]

Thanks. Yep, think I need to just have a chat with them, I think properly discussing it will help. I'll do that tomorrow. She's not a spoon refuser per se so in one sense it's probably quite good for her to do something different. It's just that she's always fed herself and she seemed a bit put out to find someone doing it for her. My other concern is how she regulates how much she eats: at the moment she eats well but knows when she's full which seems quite a good way to be. If someone is just shovelling food in she won't really have time to know when she's full? I guess I quite like her having that autonomy but at the same time appreciate they have other kids to deal with and I don't want to be that mum! :)

Will see how we get on tomorrow. The nursery is generally really good so I'm sure it will be fine - I think I probably didn't explain very well what we do at home!

[Buglife]

Tbh I'm skeptical of the whole children being fed will have it shovelled in without being able to stop it thing, I do BLW but I don't believe many children eat more than they want due to being spoon fed. If DE doesn't want something he makes it very clear! I'm sure they are very used to children eating on many ways and won't be trying to make her eat more than she wants.

[Milkyway1304]

My dd was a spoon refuser. She started nursery at 10.5months and she was given the same food as the toddlers. Actually pretty much all the babies were BLW when I think back on it; maybe the HVs here really push it! She was using cutlery very quickly after starting there too.

[MilkRunningOutAgain]

My DS liked to be fed, but the second he was full he let you know. It would have been nigh on impossible to over feed him, once he was full he wanted out of his high chair straight away! Though he was a great eater and loved his food. DD liked to self feed , her nursery let her do this, she made a horrible mess but would entertain herself for ages chasing food around the high chair tray. Most of the babies tended to be spoon fed puréed food, but nursery gave her the toddler food when she was in the baby room. I'm sure your DD's nursery will let her help herself.

[PuppyMummy]

we did blw. DS went to nursery full time at 7 months. he was used to being given a loaded spoon to put in his own mouth, can you ask them to do this.

I told our nursery that he wasnt to be fed as he could do it himself either with his hands or they needed to load the spoon for him. it took them a couple of weeks to realise he could manage the same food as all the others and didn't just need veg pieces!
id be cross if they were spoon feeding him. can your dd use a spoon?

[Roseybee10]

I had a nightmare with the nursery tbh as they didn't provide food that was suitable for blw and then I discovered they had started spoon feeding her. I was really annoyed as she had never been spoon fed and then she started demanding to be spoon fed at home as all the other kids at nursery were having it fed to them.

I really struggled with the lack of control and coupled with me hating leaving her in the first place I got myself in a right state over it all.

Eventually I realised that her wanting to be spoon fed was her leading me and I was actually being baby led by following what she wanted. There's a blw brigade who get so uppity about how if your child is ever spoon fed then they're no longer classed as being blw. It's bollocks. Blw should be about following what the baby wants and needs. Once I got my head around that I was fine. She came through that phase and started feeding herself with a spoon at nursery quite quickly.

It's so hard when you're not there and you've worked hard to do something a certain way but you may end up making yourself more stressed by worrying too much about it. Try and go with the flow (haha hypocrite here coz I got so upset when it was me) and see how it goes. Xx