Our lovely cat is gone

[swarskicat]

We got two kittens just over a year ago - the children chose one each. My DD (13) got very attached to her kitty, sleeping with her in the bed and telling her all her secrets.

On Thursday I found her on the side of a busy road near where we live. She had been hit in the head by a car. It must of only been seconds before as her heart was beating when I picked her up. I took her straight to the vet, but she was gone by the time we arrived - her head was very badly damaged.

My DD was devastated - we had hours of screaming in disbelief. All is a bit calmer now, but I can't the image of how I found her out of my head. And DD will not sleep in her bedroom, but is in the spare room as says she cannot sleep in there without her kitty.

Our cats we had before for 15 years were house cats (they both refused to go outside!) and on one hand I regret letting these two out, but then I watch the other kitty racing around the garden and up a tree and think we have made the right decision.

The busy road is about 3 streets away and we had no idea that she wandered that far.

How do you deal with the grief of losing a cat?

Anyone keep their cats indoors? So far we have let the other cat out just for a short while each day as my DD is convinced that she will follow her sisters scent up onto the main road.

[gamerchick]

I'm sorry man. I don't know if it would work just keeping them in after they're used to going out but I'm sure someone will know. Would maybe getting another kitten help in a few months...Not to replace but something to focus on?

I keep mine in and soon will have a big enclosure built. Cats are a nuisance around here and we live right next to allotments. Many cats get poisoned or go missing so it's not worth letting her out.

[sparkysparkysparky]

Poor you and poor DD. Grief is something to be endured regardless of who/what you have lost. With that wretched thing, Time, grief will abate. There are counselling websites for pet loss that you can look at.
I have a friend in similar situation and she kept surviving cat in. The last of my two indoor girls just passed away so I don't say this lightly but if the surviving cat is used to going out then it is a tough call to start keeping it in.

[championnibbler]

i honestly think its hugely cruel to not allow cats out of doors.
they are animals that need time outside every single day.
cats routinely patrol areas that can be a number of streets from their home.
they follow a set route and will patrol the route once a day at least.
they may also have secondary and tertiary routes that they patrol at other times of the day and night.
it is in a cat's nature to patrol areas near their home place which is one reason why they need to be let out.

[cozietoesie]

I'm so sorry, swarskicat. The bad images and thoughts do fade from your brain over time but I don't know how to console your DD easily. (I've slept with my boys for so many years that even as a grown woman, I can't sleep properly without a furry lump cuddling into me.)

[swarskicat]

Thanks for your messages. I know that we have to let her sister out - i think that she wanders less anyway. I guess it is always a risk that a kitten will turn out to be an adventurer. I have dreaded this since we first let them out as she was straight up a tree and then across the road (quiet one) on the first day. I just hoped that we would have her for longer than a year. She was such an affectionate girl - waiting on the gate post for DD and then following her round at her ankle when she was in the house. It is especially hard for DD as getting her coincided with starting her second term at secondary school - and she confided all her problems and fears to her kitty. She posted pictures of her and the cat every day on instragram with tags about how much she loves her :-(

We have always had cats, but this has seriously made me think about a dog as company for our remaining girl. At least with a dog you can keep them contained…..trouble is that I am not so keen on dogs.

[chockbic]

Some people choose to fence in their garden. I don't know if that's an option for you.

It must be such a shock. Am sorry for the loss of your girl.

[RubbishMantra]

Oh bless you, what an awful thing to happen.

And as Chock says, is cat-proof fencing an option?

MKitten hasn't left the garden yet, and the thought terrifies me.

[swarskicat]

We have 6 foot fences all round the garden and she was over them on the first day we let her out. There is also a shed next to one fence that she sat on and can jump off.

I am not sure if there is anything that can be done to restrict them to the garden, unless it is a small walled garden - or an older cat less sprightly. In fact that may be an option to get an older rescue cat who cannot get over the fences. I don't want to replace her, but do want some company for her sister - who is wandering around looking for her at the moment. Although is also being very spoiled!!

[RubbishMantra]

Protectapuss are quite rated

A male kitten might be good company for her. Females compete for dominance.

[swarskicat]

Thanks - that looks interesting, but our garden is quite big with lots of trees at the boundary so may be too expensive. Have sent to my DH to have a look at.

My DD is now talking of 2 male kittens as company, not sure I want 3 cats though. We will wait a few weeks before deciding….

[Fluffycloudland77]

I am sorry, it's an awful thing to happen & 13 can be a hard age at the best of times.

You can get rescue cats who are indoor by choice which might be an option for your dd in the future.