dealing with dog and children

[MTBMummy]

We have a lovely dog that we rescued when he was 4 months old, he's now almost 18 months old and while he is generally well behaved he is still a pup.

we've done training with him, and he follows most commands, but... he constantly tries to lick DS (6 months old) normally after eating cat poo, he constantly wants to play with DD (5) and is a bit boisterous, so I find we're constantly having to tell her, stop running, no dancing in the house, no gymnastics or the dog will try and jump on you, we've tried separating them, but dog will just constantly throw himself at the stair gate/door and bark until he's let back in, we're constantly struggling to keep him under control if DD has friends over, to the point that some friends no longer want to play because they're scared of his barking.

if the house is quiet and it's just DP and I in the evening he generally just curls up and goes to sleep but as soon as there's any activity he wants to get involved. I don't blame him he's still young

But i see the effect it's having on DD, she now hates the dog, she can't be a kid in her own house, anything left out gets destroyed so we're constantly having to ask her to play in her playroom, and it's isolating her. if they are in the same room together I'm constantly having to say "No" to the dog, always up watching him, if I give him a toy or a treat he'll ignore it to pester DD.

I really don't know what to do, but I'm reaching my wits end, he's walked twice a day, long walks (over an hour running around fields chasing bubbles, balls) swimming in the river (although less now it's getting colder) he's menatlly stimluated at home, playing hide the wallet, doing tricks, mini agility in the back yard. we keep hoping he'll settle down as he gets older, but DD only has one childhood and I feel the dog is ruining it.

Another thing I've noticed is if I'm BF'ing DS or pinned under him as he's just fallen asleep the dog will totally ignore me, it's the same with DP, if we can't get up to tell him off he'll just blank us and carry on, but if I'm not doing anything and just gentely say "no, on your mat" he'll stop immediately and go there.

we tried a pen, but he just barked constantly and threw himself against it, we tried leaving the door open and feeding him in it, but he starved for 3 days (well I say starved, dug up the cat poo and ate that, but didn't touch his food) we've tried raw food diets, every dry food from butchers/wagg to Canigan and Pure nothing makes a difference.

puppy classes are next to useless as it's DD he's obsessed with, he recalls fine from other dogs, rabbits even deer, but nothing we do with DD (stand still, turn you back, hands down, don't squeal, dont run, don't dance) just have no effect.

what do we do? I feel heart broken for DD, she's got it hard enough with a new brother, and she says she feels lonely all the time. if I go into her playroom with her the dog just throws himself at the gate, if we put him outside with lots of toys he just throws himself at the sliding door and barks constantly.

Please help, he's a lovely dog, but I can't let me DD take second place anymore, I don't want to rehome him, but I don't know what else to do now.

[JadeJ123]

What about getting a trainer in?

[KatharineClifton]

I was going to say training classes, until you said they were no good. Was that a long while ago, perhaps trying again at this older age would help?

Have you got kongs you stuff with food and freeze to distract him for an hour or so when needed?

I hope somebody else on here is of more use as it sounds like you are doing all the right things.

Is it possible to keep him on a long lead in the house for a bit (it's what I am doing at the moment for cat training of new dog) or would that be a nightmare?

[Whoknowswhocares]

I think you need the help of a behaviourist who will come out and observe your dog in the home and his interactions with your DD.

Whilst the only way to really know what is tng on is to have a qualified person see your dog in action so to speak, I'd hazard a guess that he may have separation anxiety issues amongst others if he is throwing himself at barriers to get to you. What's he like when you leave the house and where does he sleep at night?

[MTBMummy]

Thanks all, I've spoken to two behaviorists now and while both have agreed to come and have a look, their first view is that DD just needs to adjust her behavior, which really isn't what we want, surely a child should be able to enjoy her own house and have friends over without having to worry about the dog?

Fast fearing that the dog is going to have to go, which I don't want, but I can't keep isolating DD, and watching her turn from a happy confident child to an unhappy introvert is breaking my heart

[MTBMummy]

To answer your question WhoKnows with the odd chewing incident aside, he's fine when we're not about, generally he curls up and goes to sleep, at night, he sleeps downstairs, he doesn't chew, bark, howl or anything overnight, just happily has his treat and then goes to sleep.

[MTBMummy]

Katharine he has kongs, both the stuffed kind and the food dispenser, he normally loves them, but if its given to him as a distraction from DD he's not at all interested.

Pigs ears, tripe sticks, everything is just ignored and he throws himself against either the door or gate, and barks so we can't just ignore him either. If we do the same when DD isn't here, for example if there's a tradesman round, he happily truffles about with his toys in the garden or hall, and pretty much ignores everyone else

[Gen35]

I've got a very hyper flat coat - thankfully he's older now, so calmer - it's expensive but when he was young we used to send him to doggy day care a couple of days a week - he loves other dogs and would come back absolutely exhausted and be quiet the next 2 days. They're usually £20/day so maybe beyond your means for a solution but it'd allow your dd to have dog free time and might help him settle.
Otherwise, try another behaviourist where you sah upfront that you want the dog's behaviour modified and not your dd's. Sympathies, what a mess for you.

[TripTrapTripTrapOverTheBridge]

The thing with owning a dog though is that the household has to adapt to a certain degree, along with the dog adapting to you. Kids should always be taught how to act around a dog so maybe they are wondering if it something there that needs doing, which I imagine is quite common place for them to deal with.

He's only a pup at the moment so things will change. At the moment he's bound to be interested in things lying around, that's normal puppy behaviour. It's getting him to leave it alone that is the issue along with keeping things out of the way when it's reasonable.

If it isn't that, and they can't know without observing so be fair to them, then they'll be able to tell with observation and see what ways forward there are. Obviously, with the behaviour when you aren't with him then it shows that he likes his attention and wants to be with someone all the time. That is something that can be worked on.

[TripTrapTripTrapOverTheBridge]

Oh, just read he is now 18 months rather than the 4 months I spotted. So, actually yeah you certainly do need some help there! He should be past the majority of it now

[motherofmuddles]

Hi OP
Dont know if you are based north london way but:
We are currently attending some dog training classes and our trainer, Roland is just amazing. Our five month old puppy was pretty rough with our kids behaviour that sounds similar to your dog and it was driving me mad.
Roland has really sorted the dog's behaviour and its all so much easier.
here are his details www.dogtraining.org.uk/
I know he does one on one but I don't know the cost
He also recommended the pet corrector spray. Its in a red thin can about £13/14 I got mine from Jollys. Everytime the dog jumped up or bite the kids I sprayed the can and it stopped him immediately.
Finally the other thing I do is to make sure he doesnt come upstairs, which wasn't my original plan but it does stop him from chewing their stuff.
Hope that helps and it gets easier.

[KatharineClifton]

Is he a collie? Sounds like their kind of behaviour really.

I sympathise, my rescue can't be left alone for a minute. We will modify his behaviour when he is fully settled, but it can be frustrating.

[Lilcamper]

If a trainer I went to recommended corrector spray I would not be hiring them.

[merrymouse]

I found a thundershirt was great for calming down my very high energy springer cross when he was same age. We also got advice from a dog behaviour person which if nothing else gave me confidence.

The thundershirt calmed him down enough to realise that we have a routine and certain times of day are quiet times. Pre-thundershirt attention just excited him and ignoring him just made him bark - fine if you have no neighbours and can really ignore - not fine if he wants to take part in your lovely game of cooking/child wrangling/sitting on the sofa waiting to be pounced!

He is now 3 and has matured with age. Yesterday he sat in front of open door looking at raindrops. 18 months ago he would have chased them.