Puppy has been brought back for the second time.

(58 Posts)
Greymalken Fri 23-Nov-12 21:34:01

We had a litter, we managed to get homes for all of them bar one that we decided to keep. One of the families brought their dog back to us to be brought on whilst their daughter went through her transfer test. We brought the pup on for about 3 to four weeks. They picked their pup up on Sunday. The pup is now back along with all the paperwork, toys, food and bowls. Less than a week the mother cites health issues for bringing the dog back, a dog which was meant to be her daughters pet. The daughter is distraught and in floods of tears and now we have the pup back again. He is a really good dog house broken, good on walks and very friendly he has no issues. I find myself annoyed by this turn of events. I'm very sorry of the daughter does anyone have any advice?

Ullena, I hope the harsh responses on here won't put you and your DH off Mumsnet forever! Somehow, things are always more judgmental and rude on here than even in AIBU! Personally I think you sound so lovely, and did absolutely nothing wrong, your dogs are very lucky to have you.

The Doghouse is a scary place.

LadyTurmoil Sun 25-Nov-12 22:27:07

I think a lot of people are being a bit too judgemental. As Ullena explained in this and other threads, it was an accidental mating, she tried her best to prevent it but it happened. Jeez, it's not the end of the world. Also, to say "Her primary concern is a child's disappointment, which will have been forgotten about now probably" is an extremely unsympathetic thing to say - that girl has not forgotten and is still really sad about it, I'm sure. I've known children where this has happened and it does have a long-term effect. The pup, on the other hand, has quite happily been in someone else's house for a week and probably doesn't give a damn that it's been returned "home". A little perspective please. Good luck Ullena and Greymalken

midori1999 Sun 25-Nov-12 19:31:10

I actually don't think the person the OP slagged off was behaving responsibly, she may have returned the puppy to its breeder, but she is clearly a thoughtless twat, as is anyone else who decides a few days or a week or so into puppy ownership that it's a bit too much hard work and they have other commitments.

Then again, I don't think the OP is really a responsible owner either. A bitch allowed to remain so overweight that she couldn't be spayed for years? Leaving an in season bitch in the charge of another person? I don't even leave my husband in charge of my in season bitches. Avoiding pregnancy is essential and as such it's pretty important to assume everyone else is a complete fuckwit.

I know loads of people with entire dogs and bitches in the same household and not one of them has had an 'accidental' litter. Accidental litters occur from careless owners, they're not that accidental at all.

DoggerDog Sun 25-Nov-12 18:57:14

The Op is getting a so called hard time because she felt it completely fine to slag off someone who behaved responsibility.

The new owner could not deal with the pup for whatever reason so did the correct thing of returning to the breeder. (something that seemed to surprise her- she could have any of the dogs returned to her over the next 11 years of their lives - she needs to man up to this breeding lark)

The OP thought this was out of order which is brilliant considering she was involved in her dog being breed accidently and was aware that this could happen. However did not take sensible precautions to prevent this.

I do understand that it is "only a dog" <sarcasm alert here> and who gives a shit if the dog is breed against veterinary advice, there are now puppies that need rehoming. Ok she may now have stepped up to the mark but the fact that she feels it ok to slag of others is just out of order.

Her primary concern is a child's disappointment, which will have been forgotten about now probably, over puppies who she will need to be responsible for life. Puppies that will not have been health tested as it was an unplanned pregnancy, puppies that could have issues health and behavioural for life and a bitch that had to go through a pregnancy that was not fit for.

Those of you who do not know what you are talking about really need to look into dog welfare and the state of back yard breeders, the pain, angst of unwanted dog pregnancies in the country. But then again lets side with the OP confused she did nothing wrong at all shock

EddieVeddersfoxymop Sun 25-Nov-12 18:42:57

STDG I agree. OP sounds like a responsible owner with an idiot for a friend. We couldn't have our eldest cat spayed until she was nearly 1 year old....our vets would not do it due to her being the runt and teeny tiny. So, we kept her indoors until such time as she was neutered. OP was in the same situation....her dogs were not neutered on veterinary advice, the idiot friend decided to ignore her instructions re keeping them apart - how can she possibly be in the wrong here?

OP, good luck getting returned pup rehomed, or keeping him yourself grin

Tooloudhere Sun 25-Nov-12 18:30:13

I think op being got at bit much too. It seems on here unless you have a rescue dog that you have saved you are not regarded as a proper dog owner and are the scum of the earth for promoting dogs to be bred.

Nobody wants to see animals mistreated or abandoned but everyone is not suited nor able to take on rescues.

I feel from what I have seen the op is trying to make good a situation and tried to home the puppies responsibly it would be nice if every thread didn't turn into a crusade.

AllOverIt Sun 25-Nov-12 18:06:09

I also think the OP is getting a hard time.

Neither do I, Illage. I see a responsible dog owner, who did her best, but was sabotaged by her so-called friend.

IllageVidiot Sat 24-Nov-12 22:17:20

She cares more about a child being disappointed but doesn't seem to give a dam for the welfare of the dogs.

I do not see this at all and I suggest you have issues that are clouding your reading of the OP and your responses.

DoggerDog Sat 24-Nov-12 22:13:34

There are just too many excuses.
It does not take years to get weight off a dog.
She had an entire male and bitch and left them in the same premises. There are so many options to have prevented this, stay at home, have the dogs looked after separately, castrate male dog, christenings always give notice etc etc

She cocked up and is a backyard home breeder and has no idea about homing the puppies. She cares more about a child being disappointed but doesn't seem to give a dam for the welfare of the dogs.

She has to face up to her responsibilities - she is not even finding a new home herself but passing the buck onto the vet.

I have no time for people who do not accept their part in a situation but feel free to blame others.

Harsh maybe but so is the fact that 100's of thousands of dogs are put to sleep every year in this country alone but ha ho as long as the OP burys her head in the sand and does not accept responsibility for her actions that is fine.

Quodlibet Sat 24-Nov-12 20:33:49

I think people are being harsh on the OP too. If it was a different situation - say the friend had let a dog off the lead after being instructed not to, and caused a fight, or had left a gate open and allowed a dog in the road to get hit by a car would it still be the OP's fault? She has by the sounds of it done what she could in the circumstances and whilst hindsight might be a wonderful thing I find it uncomfortable when people who are clearly trying to do the very best for their animals get jumped on for any perceived lapse in exemplary pet-keeping practice.

Abut old - the OP had to go away, and left a 'friend' looking after the dogs, with strict instructions about keeping the on heat bitch in her run, and not, under any circumstances, letting the entire dog anywhere near her. The 'friend' secretly wanted a puppy, thought they would make pretty puppies, so let the two dogs get together, and didn't even tell the OP that they had mated, so she could have done something about it in time.

Both dog and bitch were awaiting neutering/spaying, but hadn't yet been done for good reasons.

midori1999 Sat 24-Nov-12 19:53:46

I think OP that you need to stop blaming others for your mistakes. When you breed a litter of puppies, whatever the reason, you need to ensure the right homes and realise that people lie. Of course, the people who took the puppy were very much in the wrong, but alarm bells would have rang for me when they wanted you to take the puppy back during the run up to their DDs exam. Be cross with yourself as much as them.

I also think you need to accept responsibility for your bitch becoming pregnant. She's your responsibility and if she was too overweight to be spayed (I'm failing to see how a bitch can remain so overweight for several seasons, so at least 12-24 months, tbh) then she is too overweight to safely have a litter. I own entire bitches and there is no way on this earth I would leave anyone else to be responsible for them while they are in season, no matter what. That is the responsibility that comes with owning entire bitches.

Good grief - the OP did not purposely breed her dog - in fact she took very rigorous-sounding measures to ensure the in-heat bitch and entire dog didn't get together. It was the idiot friend who deliberately undermined this, going against ALL the OP's instructions! So maybe people could stop giving the OP a hard time.

OP - I understand why you are cross about this.

abitcoldupnorth Sat 24-Nov-12 19:49:33

How/why on earth was your dog 'bred' without your permission?

btw our vet spays pups as soon as she can get her mitts on them, so well before their first season.

IllageVidiot Sat 24-Nov-12 19:22:15

True Dogger - but you can only do something about it if you know. I imagine as the vet hadn't discussed spaying when they found out, it wasn't on offer. To late for Alizin, no advice about termination? OP going to squeeze them out?! Hopefully her weight had reduced sufficiently by then - as she's being spayed Friday I imagine she's not ideal but now much safer.

I would, and did and do judge people like the family that returned the puppy, it callous, shallow and thoughtless.
I would be angry and harshly judge the friend I thought I could trust to look after my dogs if they did something like this.
She made perfectly adequate provisions for the bitch to be well cared for without risk. She was going to a Christening - I would go if my bitch was in season and I had a separate living area for her. OP is not psychic, although I am amazed said friend had not given any indication of being such a ridiculous fool previously tbf.

DoggerDog Sat 24-Nov-12 19:11:35

If being spayed was a health risk a pregnancy would have been an either bigger one.

She is making the best of the situation (which could have been totally avoided) but is judging others and getting the humph when she herself is judged confused

IllageVidiot Sat 24-Nov-12 19:01:58

I don't think it is unreasonable to expect a trusted friend, fully aware of the needs of the dogs, who has agreed to this task to keep to their side of the bargain. If OP had not told them of the needs and made suitable provisions then the situation would have been of their own making.

Also while fine to question why an of age bitch was not spayed - having had an answer that was clearly due to veterinary advice that should be enough. This bitch has not been with them since a pup and even a young dog can have serious morbidity or mortality or a whole host of complications due to surgery that is elective while being morbidly obese. There are still health benefits to be gained from spaying until a relatively mature age - it is not ureasonable to expect the clinical decision to be waiting until the bitch is in suitable health for surgery, with a weight loss plan, and spaying her before middle age rather than risk her life either peri or post op. But yes, a dead dog wouldn't have been able to have puppies, it's true. She needed a c-sec - I wouldn't be surprised if that was necessary to due being overweight too. And while it is possible to spay a bitch while pregnant, at any stage, due to maternal health and the need to euthanise the puppies in utero I know several vets that won't do this - it is their choice to refuse.

OP is making the best out of a bad situation. Responsibly caring for the puppies , has homed them well in every case but one and is trying again with this one (I probably would keep him, but I'm a soft sod!) - if more people acted with their pet's best interests at heart there wouldn't be the problems there are. It strikes me as a little unfair to be rude to an OP doing what more people should do - take responsibility.
Also, I'm sorry your friend turned out to be such a dipshit.

BeerTricksPott3r Sat 24-Nov-12 18:44:50

why put a child through that? Why get your DC a pet, then take it back temporarily, bring it home again, and then take it back just as the DC starts bonding with it?

Because some people are arseholes who see getting a puppy as not far removed from buying their DC a new stuffed toy. Then they are surprised by the reality and get rid.

DoggerDog Sat 24-Nov-12 18:32:55

I don't think anyone is being superior just amazed that you have your judgey pants on when maybe your actions have caused the situation in the first place.

A child being slightly disappointed or a dog having to go through pregnancy are not really on the same level.

Ullena Sat 24-Nov-12 18:01:16

I wish the vet had mentioned the spay during pregnancy as an option. Yes, I do love the pups, but this is something we didnt want to do.

I'm just going to say thanks to everyone who isnt blaming us for this. Runty Pup will be neutered at six months, Returned Pup too if he is still here. I had left off neutering my collie until he was 18 months as I had been told that his growth plates needed time to close over. Consider me as kicking myself, blaming myself, and rest assured that I will never trouble any of the rescues with this.

There are some posters on here who clearly have never been let down by someone they trusted. Lucky them. No need to be so superior over it! Yes, we screwed up royally. And we were let down. We dealt with it.

The point of this thread wasnt a pity party for us, it was a question: why put a child through that? Why get your DC a pet, then take it back temporarily, bring it home again, and then take it back just as the DC starts bonding with it?

It seemed rather unfair to both the child and the puppy. That is all.

Ullena Sat 24-Nov-12 17:50:14

I left my male collie in the house with free access to the front garden and walks daily. I left the eldest spayed female indoors with him, and the unspayed female in a completely closed over, roofed, 20' x 40' dog run. (She was to be given access to the rear garden twice daily with the older spayed female for company.)

Collie has since been neutered, female is being spayed on Friday. Finally, after years of struggling to get her weight down to a point where sedation isnt a serious health risk. She came to us as an extremely obese dog at six months old. Vet refused to spay her until she had had lost a good deal of weight. Which for a long time seemed to be an impossible task...

lifeistooshorttodrinkcheapwine Sat 24-Nov-12 17:43:11

oh dear what a problem for you, it can understand how upset you must feel about this and you have my sympathies. Hope you find a good home for him, I'd have him myself if i hadn't already got two black labs already.

Greymalken Sat 24-Nov-12 17:25:50

Katherine our vet wasn't willing to neuter her for health reasons. Yes an exfriend thought it would be nice (they secretly wanted a puppy) the cost of our dogs vet bills has put them off and it looks like the wee pup will be a gun dog. I know a licensed hunter who is looking for a new gun dog.

Cuebill Sat 24-Nov-12 16:56:58

You left your bitch in heat with an entire male and feel comfortable to blame other people for their actions...............<hides thread>

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