DS is scared of dogs- How do I increase his confidence?

[BelleEnd]

Hello!

DS1 is six (I also have DS2 who's 2) and when he was four, he was bitten twice by different dogs in a few months. One was a my aunt's dog who was thought to be safe with children, and was totally unprovoked. The other was when we were out for walk and there was a couple with a collie on a long lead- Again, DS wasn't even looking in his direction, but the dog snapped and lunged at him. :( DS was shaken but unhurt both times, thank goodness.

Since this, DS1 has understandably been a bit wary, but it seems to have gotten worse in the last few months, and he gets very very nervous of any dog. He's not phobic- Doesn't cry or anything like that- But he'll go out of his way to avoid them, will run from them etc.

I adore dogs, and I don't want him to have this fear. I want him to know how wonderful they can be, and how they can be real friends (but, of course, I don't want him to trust them implicitly and approach strange dogs!) We don't have dogs in the family, and none of our local friends have dogs that DS1 could spend time with to put his mind at rest.

Any tips about how I could go about resolving this?

A friend thought it would be a great idea to actually get a puppy ourselves, for DS- And I admit, he is the type of child that would spend hours with a pet, and really love it. But I don't know if that's craziness. (I do know, by the way, how much of a commitment it is and I wouldn't take it on lightly. I adore dogs and I wouldn't expect my 6 year old to take responsibility for it!)

Apologies if I post and run- Bonfire night!

[LordOfTheFlies]

My DD (9 yo) is scared of dogs but slowly getting better.
She used to scream (which isn't the best thing with dogs) and literally walk into the road to avoid one.
Now she only reacts if one catches her unawares.She'll jump but nothing more (thankfully). It's only if one is in a garden and barks or comes round a corner.
People saying "Oh he's friendly, you can pat him" doesn't help.

She's never been bitten or snapped at.
Her 12 yo brother is brilliant with dogs.Respectful, knows when to leave alone etc.
He's been really good with her.Tells her to look at the dogs tail, not it's eyes.Not to make any sound.
She still sidles over if she sees one TBH, but getting better with age.
A dog of our own (let alone a puppy) isn't an option for us, but lots of people recommended it.

She's had a couple of incidents: 2 Guide dog puppies in a shopping centre- wasn't expecting that.
And a Great Dane in a busy underpass in the town centre.
Both times she didn't know what to do, it was so quick.She was stunned into silence! Especially the Scooby Doo dog

[PeppaPigandGeorge]

No advice, but really interested in this - my 3 yo is TERRIFIED of dogs and has never had a bad experience such as biting.

[Elibean]

dd2 (nearly 5) was terrified of dogs. She slowly got to know our neighbour's cocker spaniel pup, but even that was scary - pups have sharp teeth! - until Bella was old enough not to mouth, and tired enough after a walk to lay still and be stroked. That helped a lot, as did time and general increase of confidence.

We now have a 6 mo old rescue pup, and he has helped more than anything. He's a typical family doggy type dog (labrador/staffy/beagle mix) and although a bit bouncy with dd, as she is not much bigger than him, also very gentle.

If you do get a pup, why not get a slightly older pup - a rescue one, with a known history, maybe in foster care with young children? Ours was basically housetrained, and less hard work than a 12 week old would have been...plus adorable...plus needed a home...

[Elibean]

ps dd did get nipped once by a bouncy pup off lead on the way to school - she was 2 at the time, and never forgot it.

But dd1's friend (aged 7.5) was pretty much phobic and had never been bitten or had a bad experience - her mother is also terrified of dogs. The daughter has stroked and talked to our pup (he's not small, but he's clearly submissive and gentle) and is already better - I do think exposure to a known gentle dog, in small doses, helps.

[LordOfTheFlies]

I don't know why my 2 react so differently.
DS is fine.It's not something she picked up from myself,DH or DS.
She was knocked over by a boxer in the park excitedly running in snow (she would've been 20 months or so i think) but I don't think she remembers it. I wasn't with her,DH was.

My DS is regularly slobbered on, headbutted in the nuts (ouch) and his mate's greyhound (recently rehomed large ex-racer, so forgiven) walked between his legs (double ouch) . DS takes this in his stride.
DD why she's like it!

[KatharineClifton]

Pups have sharp teeth and are very likely to bite.

[potbellyqueen]

DD used to be terrified of dogs, even a nearby dog on-lead would set her off crying and begging to be picked up, the look of sheer terror on her face was really upsetting. There was no xzapparent cause for this, I think she's just not much of an animal person.

Being around MIL's very calm cavalier girl seemed to help - the dog was always kept away from DD, although she would be able to see it. Gradually it got to the stage where DD wanted to stroke her, and now she really loves her. We have our own dog now, who DD is fairly indifferent to, I think because he's still a bit excitable, although she has been to training classes with me and is generally fine around dogs, although DS is more like me and LOVES animals.

[RedwingWinter]

I used to be terrified of dogs (really terrified - I would quake at the knees) and I didn't get over it until I was an adult.

What helped most was learning that if I ignored a dog and didn't even look at it, it would probably ignore me. Spending time around dogs that ignored me was very helpful. And then over time I was able to learn doggy body language and recognize whether a dog was friendly or not. When I was a kid I felt that all dogs that showed an interest were a threat. It helped me feel that I was more in control ('this dog is just being friendly, but that dog I'm unsure of' kind of thing).

[BelleEnd]

Thanks for all your replies! I just wish that there was a family member who had a calm dog we could spend time with. My grandparents have a moody and unpredictable bullmastiff that has to go out to his kennel whenever we visit them, which probably doesn't help.