Strange obsessions/phobias - any experience?

[smileydee]

Hi, I'm a regular but have changed my name for this. My ds is 11 and for the last 18 months has been having ever worsening anxiety problems.

At first, it was to do with his health. If he got even a little bit ill, he'd convince himself he had a brain tumour or something and would work himself up into tears with worry. That lasted about 6 months and at the time, I thought, fair enough, his dad had had cancer (now OK) and his cousin had died suddenly when he was 8, so I could sort of see a reason.

Then about 6 months ago he started worrying that he was gay or that he had paedophile tendencies. As far as I know, he's never had any sexual contact with anyone, so don't know where that one came from. Again, he'd get himself really worked up on a daily basis, crying, not sleeping etc.

He's only just got over the second anxiety about 3 weeks ago and now for the last few days he's got another one, ludicrous as it sounds, he's terrified of aliens. He's read some daft book called Animorphs where aliens control peoples' brains and has developed an obsession with that now, to the extent that on Monday night he only got 5 hours sleep and last night he slept in my bed.

I've made an appt with the GP for tomorrow and hope he can get referred on for some sort of therapy.

Does anyone have any experience of this sort of thing?

I honestly can't think why he's getting these worries. His dad and I are very happily married, he has friends locally and at school, we have a confortable standard of living. His grandmas on both sides have had problems in the past with depression/anxiety, but neither dh nor I have had any problems like that.

Sorry it's long.

[WigWamBam]

Sounds like some kind of anxiety disorder - you don't need to have suffered with one yourself for your child to have one.

I hope the GP can sort something out for you.

[Marne]

Sorry, i hav'nt got much to add, my Dh suffers from Anxiety and gets worked up about all sorts of things, his mum also suffered with it.

Maybe his dad having Cancer and his cousin dying has made him think alot more about death and illness. My step son went through this after loosing his grandfather how he had only seen a few times.

I hope all goes well with the GP.

[WigWamBam]

I guess the other thing it could be is a touch of OCD - although that generally has it's roots in anxiety, too.

If the GP is reluctant to refer him, you may need to dig your heels in. In this area the GPs tend to throw medication at this kind of problem as the waiting lists for therapy and counselling are so long - but I think you need to insist that he's referred to someone rather than just given medication.

[smileydee]

Cheers, WWB. Having googled Cognitive Behaviour Therapy today, it sounds like that may be the right route, and if it's not available on the NHS within a reasonable time, I'll try to find a local CBT therapist privately (says she, jumping the gun, maybe...)

Thanks for replies so far, guys.

[lifesteeth]

He sounds like me, I go through phases of worrying I have a terminal illness (in the space of 3 months I went to the doctor with what I thought was 1) a brain tumour 2) breast cancer 3) bone cancer 4) skin cancer. I then stopped looking for syptoms of cancer and developed a huge fear of meteorites, if I heard a plane outside my heart would skip a beat and I'd genuinly think we were all about to perish...I used to look out into the sky on a night looking for unusual stars etc before I went to sleep.

I should really get mine seen to, I think its anxiety.

[mummytosteven]

agree with the others re:anxiety disorder. you/he may find it useful to read a book about obsessive thoughts called "Imp of the Mind - the Silent Epidemic of Obsessive Thoughts by Lee Baer"). Also the Maudsley Hospital has a website about OCD specifically designed for kids to read - it may have something useful at DS's level on this topic. (btw I am talking about OCD as it's what I am familiar with, not because I am suggesting this is what your son has). If the GP isn't helpful/waiting list is a mile long, then you could consider going privately for therapy if you have the spare dosh (say £50 per hour for 8 to 10 sessions). Might also help him f he could also get his head round the fact that everybody has weird or scary thoughts from time to time, the problem isn't having them per se, but in taking them too seriously and dwelling on them.

[madmarchhare]

I had moments like this from time to time as a child, and as an adult my main issue is with my health. Age has stopped the more 'silly' thoughts such as aliens in your DSs case, although I never saw anyone for it as a child.

GP would certainly be a good place to start, however, I agree you may have to dig your heals in.

I have had CBT in the past. I currently take drugs for anxiety.

[madmarchhare]

Is he open to visiting gp etc..?

[smileydee]

Wow, thanks so much for v. helpful responses you lot.

I'm taking him to the GP this morning, and ds is quite keen, he accepts he needs help which he didn't before.

I'm hopeful that we won't be fobbed off with medication. I know the ADs prescribed for children can have devastating side effects so will insist on some sort of counselling/therapy. I called a helpline yesterday and the woman I spoke to said that it was hardly surprising that he was exhibiting anxiety. Her theory is that even though his bereavement/my dh's cancer were both several years ago, at times of stress (taking 11 plus, starting secondary), those deep seated anxieties will come to the surface in another form, which made sense to me.

Thanks again - hooray for MN!

[WigWamBam]

How did you get on, smileydee?

[smileydee]

Well, the GP was very good, listened carefully to my ds & I and has referred us to the local CAMHS team for a full family assesment, didn't even mention drugs.

He said the fact my ds is doing ok at school, sees his friends, isn't cutting or anything (though he has talked about suicide) are all positive factors and described what's happening as a blip which should be capable of being sorted out.

I feel better now that we've taken some action.

Cheers.

[WigWamBam]

It sounds very positive - that's great news. I'm so glad that they've gone straight for the assessment and not asked him to try medication first.

Let us know how you get on with the CAMHS when your appointment comes through - I hope you don't have to wait too long.

[fizzbuzz]

Don't know if this is any help.......

My dad was v ill from me being 4 years old, until he died when I was 8.

I had horrible anxieties just like your son. Looking back they were almost laughable, but they weren't to me at the time.

I grew out of it, but still seem to have higher levels of anxiety than average person. I am sure it is the issues you mentioned that have triggered it. It will have affected how your ds looks the world at a formative age.

However he should get better as he gets older. Good luck with doctors referral

[smileydee]

Thanks, Fizz, it's good to hear you grew out of the worst of it.

[fizzbuzz]

Have just reread your message and the bit about animorphs. I think they are scary, ds was scared of them at 10, and he didn't have any real anxiety issues.

Also when I was about 10 or 11, there was some programme on, about swapping a persons brain for a dog brain! That terrified me for weeks and weeks.

Also a cholera out break in Italy, when I was about 9 terrified me for weeks to the extent my mum tried to take me to doctor for a cholera injection....

I could go on and on with more ridiculous things, including werewolfs, walking dressing gowns LOL!

He will definitely improve as he gets older I promise!!