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Desperately struggling with DD26, mental health issues, relationship problems PTSD

8 replies

ChasingMars · 28/11/2016 18:06

Dad's daughter committed suicide a year ago. She has struggled with mental health issues ever since. She had six weeks out of school in summer and was assessed for inpatient treatment but it was decided she would be better offer home. The last six months things have been much improved...but this weekend she has split up with her boyfriend and we have gone right downhill. She is refusing to go to school, though school are fantastic, is tearful, withdrawn, depressed. CAMHS are useless and I am looking at private therapy for her. Right now though I really need to get her back into school, she has missed so much and missed a mock today. I also can't miss anymore work myself, but I daren't leave her home alone. It is affecting my mental health and I am constantly anxious and panicky and have been put on fluxoteine which I have been on previously. I just feel so low myself and don't know how we will cope with this.

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ChasingMars · 28/11/2016 18:07

Sorry first word should be dd's

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ChasingMars · 28/11/2016 18:09

Dd is 16 not 26 sorry

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Jinglebells99 · 28/11/2016 18:17

Do you mean your dd's dad committed suicide? I'm sorry, it sounds like you have both been through a lot. Sounds like she would benefit from counselling. Could you self refer to talking therapies? Is there a school counsellor? Sounds very difficult for you too. Does she have friends?

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ChasingMars · 28/11/2016 18:21

Sorry stupid autocorrect her boyfriend committed suicide. We have tried counselling, the school counsellor is fab and she's on meds but we are still struggling

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IAmNotACat · 28/11/2016 19:35

If she has PTSD, meds aren't enough. Find her a therapist who is specifically trained in helping people with PTSD -- you may be able to find one by looking at resources for people who have been in the army in your area. Most will help with civilian PTSD too.

I have PTSD and this has been a life saver for me. I see her once a month or whenever something triggers me. It doesn't stop the triggers, but it helps me shoo off the effects of them much more quickly. It really is a horrible thing to have, but there is light at the end of the tunnel. Trust me.

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chocolateworshipper · 29/11/2016 15:46

I agree that if she has PTSD, medication isn't enough. My DD had PTSD with dreadful debilitating flashbacks The school counsellor probably isn't trained to deal with it. If possible, try to find a private counsellor used to dealing with teens and with experience of dealing with PTSD. However, probably the most important thing is to find a counsellor that your DD feels comfortable with - most round here offer free initial consultations. Please also try to get some help for yourself - round here there is some free counselling on the NHS - or check if your employer offers free counselling. Talk to the school - maybe there is an adult she likes and trusts that she could sit with if she can't face going to normal lessons. Do not worry at all about her missing a mock - it honestly isn't important.

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RegentsParkWolf · 30/11/2016 08:49

No specific advice except to keep going with what you've been doing - I remember you posting earlier this year (and you've done an absolutely brilliant job of supporting her. Is it around the anniversary? Maybe splitting up with this boyfriend has heightened her fears again (can't remember but had she split up with previous boy before he died?) Either way there are bound to be dips and you will get through them. The exams on their own are stressful enough. Maybe she could sit the mock at home with you - not that that's a priority. Hope you both feel better soon.