Need some views please.
DD is a typical 14 year old girl, moody, opinionated, emotional, sensitive, sometimes still adorable and cute. She currently attends a private school paid for by my exh, her father. Her father has an awful lot of money. For various reasons I won't bother going into here (but it's not a particularly unique story) he spends very little time with her but when he does he will spend a lot of money on her. He pays for her uniform and school sundries and trips etc.
DD want to leave her school and go to the high school. I think it's basically a case of the grass being greener in her eyes - the girls are allowed hair down and make up at the high school, they are not at her school. She has a lot of friends at the high school and feels she would be happier there to the extent that she actually skived off school today and went to the high school just to hang about (borrowed a uniform off her friend). Very out of character for her and that is what worries me. She has obviously got into serious trouble at school for this but she doesn't seem to care (again, out of character for her but maybe not for the rebellious teenage stage?)
Anyway, the upshot is she wants to leave and go to the high school. Exh has told her as I knew he would that if she does this then there is no going back - if she doesn't like it he will not pay for her to go back to private school. I can't afford in any capacity to pay for this. I have tried to point out to her that if she went to high school not only would he dad not pay for her schooling he would also cut off paying for uniform, school trips and most probably as a punishment all her pocket money (which is a lot, i.e. hundreds a month). She says she doesn't care she just wants to be happy.
Before anyone says anything I have no control at all over how much money he gives her. He puts it straight into her account.
Anyway, it's her g.c.s.e. years now and I am trying to tell her how important it is that she doesn't disrupt this but I have a horrible sinking feeling that she will purposely sabotage her clean record and good work in a bid to make her dad lose interest in his 'investment' in her.
I really don't know what to do for the best. I want her to be happy but I also don't want to teach her that it's ok to just extricate yourself from life's upsets - you have to just knuckle down and face them head on sometimes. At the same time, knowing her as I do, this could blow over tomorrow.
She says everyone is judgemental at her school and the girls aren't nice but isn't that true of every school at this age? She's been at the school all through her education so it's not like she's just dropped into this situation.
Any thoughts how to talk to her about this and what to do for the best? I'm stuck!
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DD (14) wants to change school, that and an estranged exh and money...
22 replies
LesisMiserable · 14/09/2016 21:18
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