My dd is 17, 18 very soon. She's been with her boyfriend over a year. He's a nice enough lad and treats her well. She's never given me any worries with any of the normal teenage rebellion but she is typically headstrong and highly resistant to being challenged / disagreed with. I've always been alarmed by how exclusive their relationship became so quickly. .. they literally spend every possible second together and to all extent and purpose view themselves as being in a full on 'adult'relationship. He works full time and she is in college for another year. A few months ago I brought in a rule that she reluctantly accepted and stuck to (well 80% of the time) that he stayed over only on weekends (or her at his) or rather, when she wasn't at college the next day. It sounds mean but I just don't want him here every second. It drives me nuts. She sees him as family and I just cant/don't. This is compounded by the fact I'm having a baby in December. im also aware that she could just tell me to butt out and I don't want to risk a situation where she winds up moving in with him or something just realised he's staying tonight. She has finished college for the summer so strictly speaking it's not a college night. Am I being unreasonable? I just dont want him here all the time. I want them to realise theyre just 2 teenagers dating. Its really become like they live together, holidays, days out, mealtimes even laundry has just become the absolute norm. on the nights they don't stay together he stays until she's asleep and let's himself out. If they're going out I feel he should strive to pick her up once she's ready but no, he would be here from straight after work helping her get ready. ( not I'm a controlling way, it's mutually what they want to be like). I want to tell her tomorrow that he only stays over and vice versa at weekends. Obviously she is practically adult so I cant physically stop her going to stay at his and I don't want to resort to the 'if you want to live under my roof...' ultimatum. AIBU ? I have always been loathe to challenge my kids ( and in the main havent needed to as they're exceptional ) and I think this stems from being split from their dad and historically she has done the whole 'I'll go and live with dad'thing if things haven't gone her way at home. (That's no longer an option, he's given up his house to 'find himself'in a camper van). Have i left it too long? Should i have been stronger with them over the past year and have therefore now lost my right to say anything because I've been outwardly laid back before? Do i actually need to man up and take the 'my house my rules' stance.is it normal for an 18 to be allowed to stay over/have her boyf stay over all the time. If it's relevant, I financially support her through college although she earns good money in her part time job, and she pays no rent. She is living here in the capacity of 'child 'not lodger. X
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Boyfriend staying over (Aibu/reassurance)
15 replies
Desmondo2016 · 06/07/2016 02:07
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