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Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Teenagers

Teenager mess!

21 replies

teentraumas · 01/02/2016 18:53

How do you cope with teenage mess! It's driving me nuts.... My kids say I am a tidy freak, but I don't think I am! What should I ignore, the dirty crockery, the laundry, the floordrobe, the wet towels everywhere, the general rubbish and slobbery!
Do you have rules? What do you ignore. Any advice, as I feel I am grumpy and always nagging!! Thanks

OP posts:

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vitalite · 01/02/2016 19:14

As long as my ds brings down the dirty dishes and laundry a couple times a week I try not to get too worked up about other stuff. His clean clothes never ever make it into drawers or wardrobe and there is paper and other rubbish EVERYWHERE! I also try not to go in his room very often so I don't have to look at it

teentraumas · 01/02/2016 19:17

The laundry is one of the things that drives me nuts, and just the rubbish!!

OP posts:

PurpleWithRed · 01/02/2016 19:23

Stuff that impacts everyone else - dirty dishes, hogging all the good towels - not tolerated. Rest tolerated as long as the door is shut.

dodobookends · 01/02/2016 19:23

Well if the laundry doesn't make it to the basket, it doesn't get washed. Clean laundry gets put on the bed. If it doesn't get put away and is dumped on the floor, so be it.

If wet towels are in the bathroom, tumble dry them and put them back in the bathroom again. If they're in teenroom, leave them there.

Collect crockery periodically. Spray Febreze in general direction of room, close the door and ignore the rest.

That's about it really.

patterkiller · 01/02/2016 19:27

I change the Internet password daily and until they have moved cups, glasses, plates, wrappers and dirty washing is brought downstairs they don't get the password.

They are in the habit now and it takes them 15 mins tops. And hardly any arguments.

Mitfordhons · 01/02/2016 19:30

Never go in their rooms. Then they have to move the washing if they want clean clothes and you don't get cross. My 16 year old does her own washing, but not the younger teens. Crockery gets brought down at meal times, if they arrive downstairs empty handed they have to go back and get something.

jellycake · 01/02/2016 19:40

I insist on crockery being brought down but the method for this is me yelling up the stairs 'Dishwasher!' when I'm about to run a load through. Twice a week I make him bring his washing down so I load the machine, the rest of the time I keep well out of his bedroom. Once a fortnight he has to strip his bed.

Socialaddict · 01/02/2016 21:29

I don't allow crockery upstairs ever! DD 15 knows and does not even attempt to bring any up. If she studies and I bring her some fruit, when she comes downstairs I ask her to bring the bowl immediately. We had many a screaming matches re dirty laundry and making her bed in the mornings, now the clothes go in the laundry bin 9 out of 10 times and the bed is made 4 out of 7 in the morning, but by the time I am back home it is always made lol. So still room for improvement but much better than it used to be.
I cannot possibly ignore her room as it drives me bonkers if I know that somewhere in the house is dirty or messy.
It is hard work but lots of nagging does work!

BackforGood · 01/02/2016 21:45

If it's in there room, it's their business.
If it's in general areas (kitchen, bathroom, hallways, living room) then they get hauled back to sort it.
If it's not in the laundry basket it doesn't get washed, obviously.
I have enough crockery that we can manage without the full dinner service and glass cabinet stuff in his room.

Themodernuriahheep · 01/02/2016 21:57

This thread is saving my sanity. I thought it was just DS....

BackforGood · 01/02/2016 23:07

*their

I do know the difference, honestly, it's just my fingers type quicker than my brain. Oh, the shame.

teentraumas · 01/02/2016 23:20

Thanks for the replies. I think I do need to chill a bit and maybe my frustration is from seeing my cleaning getting trashed! . They have their own laundry baskets, I do ds's laundry (age 13) dd(17) has to do her own. I have just put on a full load of towels from her bedroom because I couldn't find any
I am going to try and let them fester a little more and close doors!!

OP posts:

DramaAlpaca · 01/02/2016 23:21

I have my three fairly well trained to follow a few rules:

Glasses & crockery have to be brought back to the kitchen and put in the dishwasher.
They have to tidy up after themselves if they've been using the kitchen.
They have to change their beds every couple of weeks.
Towels have to be hung up after showers.
Rubbish has to go in bins.
If laundry isn't put in the basket it doesn't get done.
I sort clean clothes into piles for each of them & they have to put them away. If they choose to leave them on the floor, it's up to them.

Despite all the above their bedrooms still manage to be a complete mess.

I just shut the doors and ignore.

AlpacaLypse · 01/02/2016 23:26

I'm currently partially disabled and I hadn't realised what a PITA it is not being able to get up the stairs to shout about the missing towels/crockery it is :(

However I'm getting a shiny new knee in a couple of weeks and then they just better watch out, that's all I'm saying...

frenchfancy · 02/02/2016 08:56

Teens do their own laundry. They learn quick enough when their favourite top isn't clean or they have no clean pants.

No eating upstairs - this was starting to get difficult to enforce until we got mice, now they understand and they never eat upstairs.

I do not enforce their rooms, I certainly don't make them make beds or pick up clothes.

Every now and again I have to do a towel round-up though. It drives me nuts when instead of using the towels they have on the floor in their rooms they get a clean pool towel out of the cupboard.

fedupmum1971 · 03/02/2016 18:47

Hi Im new to this, and have similar issues with 2 young adults 20 and 18 who are messy! I ignore their rooms, and they have to do their own washing. Issue is getting them to do their share of chores and clean up the kitchen after themselves. I think I have basic rules and realistic expectations, but no idea how to enforce the rules as they take no notice of me and im sick of nagging/threatening/ losing my temper. Any advice as this feels relentless !!

QueenStreaky · 03/02/2016 19:41

Ds is 17. He's got jobs that are 'his' - emptying the bin every morning, wiping down the shower screen after use, making his bed. Laundry goes in the basket or it doesn't get washed. He does a family load of washing every weekend, about three washes, and changes and washes his bedding every two weeks. I do laundry in between and put his stuff on his bed to do with what he will.

We have our own towels in the bathroom, which saves arguments over who's used the nice ones , and they're folded and hung after use. He's rubbish at realising they need washing though, so I still have to do that.

No food or drinks allowed upstairs, unless he's got friends over but that's not very often (they usually hang out downstairs and they're expected to clear up after themselves).

If he doesn't do 'his jobs' I get arsey and nick his phone. I don't have to do that very often .

Louboutin37 · 04/02/2016 14:13

we solved the towel thing recently if it helps. DSD aged 15 had a meltdown one day when she suspected that towels might be mixing up with other users towels despite her normally leaving them on the bathroom floor in her wake. All of our towels are the same colour so it's hard to tell who's is who's except we hang ours up as soon as we use them to dry.

So we went and bought her a bath size towel, bright red from BHS, not any more than a tenner. Now if she leaves it on the floor in the bathroom we move it to the floor in her bedroom, If she leaves it to fester, so be it. But she has her own towel and is now responsible for it in its entirety.

BG2015 · 06/02/2016 14:41

Wet towels get put on the radiator or banister to air then folded and used again. I even take them out of the washing basket, I've tried to explain that towels can be used a few times before they need washing.

I moan about crockery, pizza boxes and rubbish. It gets brought down a couple of times a week.

My 16 DS is the worst but then he will have a bizzare tidying up hour and his room stays tidy for a few hours...but soon resorts back to normal.

derektheladyhamster · 06/02/2016 14:47

I look after 78 girls in a boarding house. I feel the pain!

CalicoBlue · 06/02/2016 15:45

It dries me nuts. DD is away this weekend, so I have just sorted her room. Don't really have a problem with plates and cups. It is make up and homework, mixed up with clean and dirty clothes on the floor that gets me. It is all clean and tidy now, she will be furious when she gets home.

DS (18) does put his washing in his basket, but the clean stuff is all over the floor. His bedsheets need changing, as his gf stays a lot, I think it is his responsibility to do.

DSS - I just shut the door and leave it to his father to manage.

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