Late period - should I be worried?

[Slippersmum]

My ds has been with his girlfriend for a few months. She seems lovely. She stays here alot, they see each other every night. My ds spoke to me saying she is 3 weeks late and feels sick most mornings. She has just changed her pill. Ok I thought so the change in pill has caused this? Right? Then he said she had been trying for a baby for a few months with her previous boyfriend. Which did make me feel less confident this was about the pill. What would you think? I suggested I went straight to the chemist to buy a test but she wants to wait till her next period is due (4 days) and see what happens then, which of course is her choice. I would still have liked to have them to do the test but was trying to come across as lets talk about this in a calmed relaxed adult manner, which believe me was taking all my energy the more he told me!

What are your thoughts???

[ginmakesitallok]

My thoughts? She's pregnant.

[ginmakesitallok]

How old are they both?

[AuntieStella]

I think you're doing OK so far.

If she is PG, then being as supportive as you can be will help enormously.

Has she told her parents? Or are you the only parent who knows so far?

[Slippersmum]

Omg do you think? He is 19 almost 20 and she is 23. Really? Am I in denial?? Doesn't the pill mess with your periods??

[pinkyredrose]

Why wasn't he using condoms if he knew she wanted a baby?!

[Slippersmum]

Well he didn't know. She says she didn't she was in a relationship with a horrible controlling person who was older and wanted children. Her self esteem etc was very low when he first met her her. They have been friends for a year or so. I am now having palpitations!!

[AuntieStella]

Yes, you may well be in denial.

Only a test will tell, and at 3+ weeks late the result should be reliable.

It might be unfair to push her to do the test if she wants to put it off for a few more days. But, really, she needs to get on with it. Don't nag her, but if you can tactfully, then point out there are no benefits whatsoever in waiting.

[BikeRunSki]

The pill can or needn't mess with your periods. I'm think "pregnant" too though. Unless she has lost a lot of weight recently? My periods always stop for a bit when I lose weight.

[sebsmummy1]

Hmm I would say pregnant too but we have little to go on. Whatever the result in sure in time everything will work itself out, it usually does.

[Slippersmum]

No one else knows apart from me and she doesn't know I know. Can't a change in pill make your period lighter or go for a while? This coincides with the change in pill. Just thought they would be connected?

[homewoes]

You'll find out soon enough op

[ginmakesitallok]

She's 23, hardly a child. Only way for her to know for sure is to take a test.

[scaevola]

Yes, a change in the pill can make a difference to your withdrawal bleed (assuming you are taking it with a week off for a "period") but it doesn't (usually) stop it altogether.

But absence of period in a young, sexually active woman is most likely to be caused by pregnancy. Because the pill isn't 100% reliable even when taken completely correctly. And user error is (possibly) slightly more likely around the time of change of method than once in established use.

[DulcetMoans]

If she had come off birth control then she may skip some periods and take a while to come back, not sure if the same is true for swapping pills.

But those symptoms are the same for being pregnant so it's really not possible for you to say without that test. At three weeks late she is unlikely to get a different result in four days time than if she did it today. But you can't exactly tell her that I guess...

[mummytime]

As I have told my children - I know women (married) who have become pregnant on every type of birth control; which includes a midwife using the coil.
Yes it sounds as if she is pregnant. She needs to do a test and then whatever the result go to see a doctor

[Slippersmum]

She does the week off for the period and is having all her usual period symptoms eg cramps in her stomach and sore boobs. I have never taken the pill so not really very experienced with this. She did the swap over following GP guidance. I don't know about her feeling sick I feel a little queasy myself!!

[hellsbells99]

Normally if you are changing the pill, you would start the new one immediately after finishing the old packet - so no breakthrough bleeding that month.

[ifonly4]

I think you have to respect their wishes over the test and hang in there. That way, if your son's GF is pregnant, he'll be more open to any help and support you can give them.

Your son is in an awkward position, he's confided in you but at the same time broken a confidence with his GF (which she doesn't know about). Whether she's pregnant or not, he could be in a long term relationship and if she is pregnant then they need to work things out together without any problems. I think you will have to sit tight, and maybe ask your son in 5 days (ie day after period is due) if it's come. If it hasn't, you can volunteer again to get a test and make it clear both he (or both of them) can talk to you. It sounds like you want to support your son, but at least if he's talking you'll know what's happening.

[Slippersmum]

That is it exactly ifonly!! I am really pleased he felt he could share this with me and as you say his GF does not know he has told me. Its hard for me not to be able to tell anyone for support (thank goodness I have all of you) but this could all be a storm in a teacup and connected with the change of pill as she did take them back to back.

If it were me I would want to know but I feel I must respect her wishes in this about how she wants to handle it and as people have pointed out she is an adult although I think its still very young to have a baby (if she is).

I really want to keep the lines of communication open.