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Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Teenagers

How long until I call the police

19 replies

TheWaltzClogTeam · 15/03/2015 20:54

My 13 year old daughter walked out at about 7.15 after a huge argument about nothing. I have been out to search for her, then my husband did, and he's now taken the car to have a look round. She hasn't got her coat or phone or any money, and we don't know anyone whos house she may have gone to.

Bit of background. She is in a lot of trouble at school constantly, and is very unhappy. She's pretty much lost all her friends because of the trouble, and is desperate for a managed move to another school. The head said that if she behaved well on Friday and tomorrow, she would talk to another head, but after a good morning on Friday, things went very wrong in the afternoon and she was sent home. The arguments this evening stemmed from her not wanting to go to school tomorrow.

Where we live is quite safe, but obviously we're frantic. I don't know how soon to call the police.

OP posts:

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fuctifino · 15/03/2015 20:57

I would call the local number now.

I rang after an hour when my 11yr old dd hadn't come home from school. I was apologetic for wasting their time but the police were great.

SunshineAndShadows · 15/03/2015 20:58

It probably feels very scary but it's only been less than 2 hours. She's probably cooling off and will turn up. Hugs

tribpot · 15/03/2015 20:58

I think I would phone the 101 number for advice. I'm sure she will turn up soon but I don't think involving the police at this stage is wrong - they may say leave it a couple more hours, I don't know what they would consider 'normal', but given her age I would act rather than wait.

Fingers crossed for you, WaltzClog. I would be going spare as well.

Koalafications · 15/03/2015 20:59

I would call now.

penny13610 · 15/03/2015 20:59

If you call 101, they will help you decide when to be worried.
Good luck, we had one who did things like this occasionally and it worries you senseless, they police were very helpful and sensible.

Travelledtheworld · 15/03/2015 20:59

She is probably just doing this to give you a fright.

But I would call them now so they can ask patrol cars to keep an eye open for her. They will probably have some reassuring advice to give you.
Have you called her friends to see if anyone has seen her ?

Hoping she is OK and will be home soon.

hellhasnofurylikeahungrywoman · 15/03/2015 21:01

Now. It's cold and dark out there. They would rather get the wheels in motion now and be stood down because she turns up than have you wait meaning they lose valuable time.

TheWaltzClogTeam · 15/03/2015 21:02

I'm ringing them now. Will update

OP posts:

Alonglongway · 15/03/2015 21:03

What sort of area do you live in - how far is she likely to go? One of mine did a bit of this - we are in London and she would ride around on buses until she cooled off a bit and came back. It's horrible - you have my sympathy.

BernadetteMatthews · 15/03/2015 21:04

Sorry your having a tough time. Call them now for advice.

TheWaltzClogTeam · 15/03/2015 21:34

Unbelievably when I was on the phone, waiting in a queue, she walked in. She's freezing, won't talk to me and still refusing to go to school tomorrow. I feel like such an idiot starting a post on here, but I just didn't know what to do and I imagined all sorts.

Thank you very much for your support. I read everyone's posts every day, trying to pluck up the courage to post.

OP posts:

TheFirstOfHerName · 15/03/2015 21:36

I'm glad she is home and safe.

cleo14 · 15/03/2015 21:38

Don't feel like an idiot- as parents we need to use all supports available to us. Glad she's home and safe

penny13610 · 15/03/2015 21:38

give her a hot drink and be available to talk when she's ready. She hates school, it would help her if she could verbalise why.

Koalafications · 15/03/2015 21:41

Glad she's home, OP. Please don't feel like an idiot.

Do you think she will go into school tomorrow?

tribpot · 15/03/2015 21:46

My god, don't worry about having started a thread on here! I would have done the same.

The important thing is that she is home and safe.

Hassled · 15/03/2015 21:47

So glad she's home, and so glad you posted. My first post on MN was about my teenage DD too - I was at the end of my tether and internet strangers really helped. Keep on posting - once you start it's hard to stop :).

fuctifino · 15/03/2015 21:50

Ditto everybody else, don't feel like an idiot.

When I was on the phone to the police, he'd mobilised cars and was taking more details from me, my mobile rang and it was the mother of the friend she was with (I'd already checked her house but they weren't in). The police were fantastic, as I apologised, he said they'd rather know sooner than later if there is a missing child.

Hope you get her to school tomorrow and that her managed move comes off.

hellhasnofurylikeahungrywoman · 15/03/2015 21:55

There was nothing idiotic about your post, I am glad she is home and I hope you can get to the bottom of her problems with school.

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