warring teenage twins - end of my tether!!

[bringmesunshine1]

I have spent the last 3 years playing referee to my teen twin daughters. Since turning 18, things have gone from bearable to the 7th circle of hell. When they are not the best of friends they are ready to rip each other's eyes/hair/nails and any other accessible body part off. I have talked, listened, hugged, cried, cajoled, bribed, shouted and threatened eviction - all to no avail. One twin has ASD, but the other hasn't. The one who hasn't just wants to be "different", away from her twin and is trying to impose restrictions as to what her sister can and can't do, whereas the ASD twin is quite happy just "going with the flow".

Neither will listen to me any more, but equally they won't listen to each other or anyone else. I realise each is trying to asset their own individuality, rather than being "the twins", I am now running out of sanity, patience (and hair) myself. The constant screaming, shouting, stamping and slamming of doors is taking its toll on everyone living at home.

[smileyforest]

Hello...I guess they are not identical? I always thought twins had a certain 'closeness' but non identical twins are more two siblings just conceived at same time...I may have it wrong!
I have two boys aged 18y and 16y...the other night when they were both here it was unbearable...Not the same as girls...I get the loud bad language, play fights that looks aggressive to me..They are big lads....I don't shout and scream...I retreat to my bedroom! It does calm on its own...but also its different maybe for me as I'm divorced and my boys share care with their Dad so are living in different houses sometimes...does make it a bit easier!!
Sounds like a battleground in your home!
One of my boys has autistic traits and so really winds the other up! Was easier when they were toddlers! x

[HamNJam]

No help I'm afraid - my twin girls are only 12 but I already live on the knife edge of their emotional turmoil

[Fooso]

My sisters are identical twins - and as I grew up always falling out, and still do - though both now late 50s! at the moment they are the best of friends, but once went years without speaking!

[bringmesunshine1]

Although they look identical, they are in fact non-identical. I try to retreat to my room and even starting smoking again (despite having given up for 6 months), but they always follow me and have this need to get me involved. Sometimes I think it is for my audience only as they can be out with relatives/friends all day and as soon as they walk through the door they start. Ho hum - I am sure that I will weather the storm with (relative) good grace and be cursed with a few more grey hairs before things start to calm down.