Leaving home at 18..(not for uni)...any experience?

(15 Posts)
smileyforest Mon 14-Jul-14 18:51:43

Thats..it..DS wants to go now..does not want to F.....g live with me...But how? no full time job...supposed to be doing A'levels in Sept in another Town....He has no idea....

NatashaBee Mon 14-Jul-14 18:54:09

Well I moved out when I was 16, rented a room and lived off my supermarket wages. It wasn't ideal though and I ended up dropping out of college as I needed to work full-time to pay bills and I would be concerned that the same may happen to your son.

I moved out at 16, went to college & claimed benefits to support myself. Staying at home wasn't an option for me but i wish i could have been as i would have been able to get some money behind me.

Although i don't really like my mother our relationship definitely improved once i left home so it could turn out to be a good thing? It will be v hard for your DS though.

Squtternutbaush Mon 14-Jul-14 19:36:24

I moved out at 16.

Got myself a childcare apprenticeship and claimed appropriate benefits for housing costs etc.

My mum and I were at the stage where we would argue about everything and I couldn't be arsed with it, she moved 200 miles away and now we're best friends.

ChillySundays Mon 14-Jul-14 19:47:10

Remember reading a while back that there would be no housing benefit for under 25s. Has this come into effect? If so, how does he expect to afford to leave home. Sounds like he think the grass will be greener?

randomAXEofkindness Mon 14-Jul-14 19:54:02

I moved out at 18 because my mum was shit. I rented a room; worked in a call center to pay my bills; and did A-Levels in the evenings at college. I can't describe the relief I felt when I lay on my new bed the day I moved in, it felt like every muscle in my body relaxed for the first time: bliss.

randomAXEofkindness Mon 14-Jul-14 19:54:40

Maybe the grass will be greener.

smileyforest Mon 14-Jul-14 20:44:21

Ummm...maybe grass will feel greener for him...good point...!
Finance a problem though...as yes...no benefits now? I honestly think it would be a huge shock to him..he is quite alternative..and headstrong....

smileyforest Mon 14-Jul-14 20:45:17

I don't think I'm shit...too caring maybe???

dashoflime Mon 14-Jul-14 20:48:47

I moved out at 16, claimed benefits and lived in a squat. Thats not an option these days of course.

My Dsis left home at 17, stayed with a friend, didn't like it and moved back home. Then left again at 19 and moved in with me.

It would be hard for him but if he can pull it off it might improve his relationship with you. Me and Dsis certainly got on better with our parents with a bit of distance.

ivykaty44 Mon 14-Jul-14 20:51:20

My dd moved out at 18 and lived in a hostel, then a flat eventually moving in with a b/f then came home two years later...friends said omg moving home. Dd loved it and she had grown up considerably, was pleasant at home. She stayed for about a year then moved to another b/f flat now they have a house etc

Let him go, let him find his own way and don't hold him IP.

Haffdonga Mon 14-Jul-14 20:54:11

I would 'support' him by agreeing with his plan but leaving it for him to arrange. Frankly it's almost impossible for people his age unless they are earning a good wage. He wont get benefits and wont be able to rent anywhere without a big deposit.
Has he got a job?

So go flat-hunting with him and help him plan a budget. Then work out how much he'll have to earn to support his planned bachelor lifestyle in his new pad.

If he manages, good for him. You'll probably appreciate each other much more when you can go to his for a coffee. If he fails, he'll appreciate much more.

headlesslambrini Mon 14-Jul-14 21:02:20

How about a residential college. Depending on your household income you may get help with costs. Usually specialised courses though rather than A levels eg countryside, forestry, agriculture etc

plentyofwine Wed 16-Jul-14 06:35:42

My dd has moved to New Zealand for 2 years and she's 18 sad

Princessjonsie Wed 13-Aug-14 12:01:46

let him find out the grass isnt greener and he will come running back with tail between his legs. Risky I know but im a firm believer in tell them the consiquences and then they make there own decisions but they have to live by it and put up with the good and the bad.

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