14 year old party

[CeliaFate]

My dd is invited to a girl's birthday party - it's at her house and the plan is to sleep in the garden.
There are 2 boys invited apparently.
Parents will be there.
Dd is a good kid, she's not precocious or streetwise, but I feel the need to make sure she knows her boundaries and can say no to anything she feels uncomfortable with.
I asked if there was going to be alcohol there and she just laughed and gave me a face.
I remember the parties I went to as a 14 year old, which is why I'm concerned!
How do I go about warning her, without frightening her or sounding like I'm trying put her off going?

[scouseontheinside]

I would give the parents a friendly call to see that the situation is going to be with regards to supervision. Check out sleeping arrangements, and check that the parents will be there.

One thing I do with my DC, is have a "get me out!" phrase. If DS ever says to me whilst out at a party: "Did you remember to feed the dog?", that's code for, "I'm not comfortable, please come at get me". It's hard for teens to go for help, especially when they think they might cop flack from their mates for doing so. DS has called me for a pick up twice. I simply came and texted when outside. He told his friends their was something urgent at home, and we left.

He's a bit older than your DD, but it's kept lines open for us. I've always told him that if calls for help, I will come and get him, no questions asked. If he doesn't feel that he can call me, he has the number of a family friend who has known him all his life, and we have an arrangement with them. Obviously this is a disaster plan, but it's worked for us.

Because your DD is a younger teen, I'd call the parents to make sure all is as it seems, and then make a plan with you DD.

[DramaAlpaca]

scouseontheinside has said everything I was going to say.

[LaurieFairyCake]

I wouldn't let a child go to a mixed sex sleepover at that age - 14 is too stupid and they make terrible choices.

Older fine, younger fine - that age is the peak of idiocy