Mumsnet Talk

We are also two weeks in , and whilst the day to day stuff is no problem, actually quite enjoying having more time for ds3 and less commentary on every decision I make ., we are not getting much communication at all and am finding that difficult.I am pretty sure this means things are going well, but he only texts if he needs input eg "can I wash dark shirts with jeans " or " does curry paste go in before or after meat", it would be nice to have some news etc

It has just hit me this weekend that he has a whole new life that I know nothing whatsoever about, he did say in one text that he had a lot on , and I thought a lot of what ; socialising g , work, sport ( unlikely !),a girl or all of the above . I really don't want to pester him but am wondering if it would be acceptable to call for a chat, mind you did try to call in midst of long series of texts about laundry ( it wld have been easier to explain verbally) and he just didn't pick up . I think he just really wants to be independent

We've discovered skype, so chat on there regularly. I think girls are generally better at this than boys.

Saying that mine seems to be unavailable and forgetting when we've arranged to chat so I take this as a good sign. She seems to be finding her feet nicely.

Our DS has just start 2nd year - too far away to come home during term times so rings regularly, which I really appreciate. However, when he went back this year only had a couple of calls in nearly 2 weeks - obviously enjoying the novelty of living in his new flat!

Good to hear most of your DCs are settling in so well.

I could have written your post as in the same position!

Our DD has just started uni in Liverpool (we're in Bournemouth, she couldn't get much further away!) but is struggling to cope with all the changes. We're just not sure how best to support her. We had some really tearful phone calls last week and DH dashed off to see her and make sure she was getting some support at uni - probably not the best thing to do in hindsight but she has had some difficult periods in the last year. She's doing all the right things like joining lots of societies and getting some counselling but it is just so hard:'( Any advice would be gratefully received.

Jane58 I really hope she settles in soon. Don't have any advice except if she could stick it out for the first term, until Christmas break, then she will be better able to make a judgement on whether it's right for her or not. I don't think it was a mistake for you rDH to visit, at all.

DD is down your way and we right up north. She feels it already when others are planning to go home for a weekend soon and she carn't. She also says some people are dropping out already. Such a shame they really should try and stick it out for longer.

My DD1 went to uni last year and (most of the time) loved all the socialising and sporty stuff, and her course has been ok too. I tried not to ring her too often, just enough to have a good idea if she was okay, and usually she was.

She's a five hour train journey away so didn't come home much. I went to see her for a weekend and took DD2 with me, but DD1 was uncharacteristically unpleasant to her - think DD1 just wanted me to herself.

This year DD1 is far more relaxed about everything and we're planning to meet up half way and DD2 is welcome this time. DD1 is also phoning me more this year.

jane58 I think getting involved and making lots of acquaintances is the answer, but it takes time, especially if you're not very extrovert. Maybe there's a need to just acknowledge that its difficult sometimes at first, but everyone has to just get on with it. When DD1 used to phone me in tears, saying she wanted to come home, I'd tell her she was very welcome, but somehow she always managed to brighten up and get on with things. Everything will be okay.

Just to wish you all a Happy Christmas - we survived the first term without them. Enjoy!!