17 years old and going nowhere

[donnagym]

My 17 year old son left school after a very difficult year 11. Since then he started college, dropped out and has done nothing since. I have tried to help with job applications,getting a new course at college etc but he really doesnt seem to want to do anything about creating a present much less a future for himself. His best mate is now 19 and has been in this status for longer and i fear the two of them persuade each other its all ok. My son lives with his dad who feels much the same as me and doesnt even try anymore to talk to his son. This is all against a backdrop of him taking miaow/dope/drinking and even trying to cut his wrist(denied). I have tried to keep the lines of communication open, support rather than shout and suggest ideas of how to move forward. Nothing works. He is stubbornly saying ' off my back , leave it to me'. I do not know what to try next. The boys dad and i are divorced and there is history of violence to me from both boys. I would welcome suggestions as i am lost in this now....

[flow4]

donna, I could almost have written this, except my son has no contact with his dad. You might like to search my previous threads to see some previous discussion and advice.
It's horrible, isn't it? :(

[flow4]

Bumping, so other people see it...

[Melindaaa]

We've been there, too. My son was in an awful situation with drugs, got involved in crime, failed at school, lasted a day in college etc etc.

He is now almost 19 and I think has turned a corner. He met a girl, found a job, and seems to be mostly functioning on his own. He has moved away to be with his girlfriend, so away from his 'friend's' here and claims to not even smoke cannabis any more. Whether this is true or not, I don't know, but he always seems okay when I see him now.

Hang in there. The chances are he will come out the other side soon and become a lovely young man.

[flow4]

I hope you're right Melindaaa... (Hope is such a precious and dangerous thing!)