Dangers of Internet Porn on Young Minds

[Parttimeslave]

I have two teenage sons 17 and 19 year olds. I have been hearing from friends and reading on here recently about a lot of promiscuity surrounding young men. I know both of mine have secretly watched porn on the internet (to my horror, but I know it's only natural!) and have spoken to them both about realistic and respectful views towards girls. They are totally unwilling to discuss their intimate lives with me (which is OK with me!) and neither have a girlfriend. I really hope if/when they are sexually active, they show girls respect.

Has anyone seen signs that this "internet porn" generation is starting to set new, unhealthy ideals for their relationships? I am a fortysomething. Back in the 70's a copy of Playboy and playground banter was as "experimental" as it got! I fear for young girls out there who are expected to perform and look a certain way to please young mens' unrealistic ideals. Just a thought....

[lastnerve]

Your sons may well be able to watch porn and just leave it there at their age they are more in an adult frame of mind.

if they were younger than 16 I'd be more concerned, like you said its only natural whispers even for girls too

Have you noticed anything yet to cause concern??

Also speak to them about how porn affect male aesthetic? like hairless all over and *ahem unrealistic size. Their will be girls who expect men to look like a chippin' dale.

[Parttimeslave]

Can't say I've spotted anything which would cause me concern lastnerve - but have heard some disturbing stories of male friends (17 yr olds) who "link up" regularly for one-night stands. Apparantely it is often the girls wanting it more than the boys.

Ha ha chippin' dales....they wish!

[lastnerve]

tbh (dunno if its because I'm young) 17 year old's having one night stand is not something porn is responsible for as long as its safe I suppose.

[ripsishere]

I saw something shocking last night. A video is doing the rounds of the youth where I work.
A girl of 14 was asked by her boyfriend to film her dog performing a sex act on her (licking her fanny). The girl who showed it to me (18YO) thought it was funny. I thought it was disgusting.
I am 48 and couldn't stop thinking about the child who filmed herself and how her life is wrecked. Apparently everyone knows her name.
So sad.

[sashh]

ripsishere

Have you reported it? That's level 5 serious stuff.

[ripsishere]

Who would I report it to though? could I do it anonymously?

[ripsishere]

Bump for an answer.

[worldgonecrazy]

ripsis that has gone from internet porn to something that is an illegal and jailable offence. Not nice - report it to the police, phone 101 for advice.

I've ranted on other threads about parents having no idea what is readily available on the internet these days. It is not about pictures of naked ladies, and, unlike the early days of the internet, you don't need a credit card to get past the teaser photos. Without any parental controls (or in some cases with them) anyone can view group sex, deep throat, anal sex, gang bangs, bukake (that's when a girl kneels in front of several men whilst they come over her face), all performed by porn actors/actresses with bodies that have been transformed by waxing and plastic surgery, so large boobs, hairless bodies, and large penises are the norm. If your teenager is getting their information about what normal sex is like from the internet, this is what they are going to perceive as 'normal'.

[ripsishere]

OK, will post back on their response. I am not sure how much information I can give. All I saw was a young girl and a puppy. I am almost certain that the police will be aware, as I said, it's infamous in this area apparently.

[modifiedmum]

I think it's really sad. I think wanting to watch porn is normal of course but on some of the popular free websites now, nothing is off limits, everything is on there and i'm old enough to know better obv but i wonder if a 14 year old stumbled across anal sex, watersports, fisting, BDSM videos is that going to be "normal" to them? I'm not saying as you get older you can't progress onto these things, its human nature to want to experiment after a while of being sexually active but I've heard some kids on buses and the way they talk is horrendous :S My other half seems to have been the type to dragged into that generation, he told me the first time had had anal sex was when he was 15 because he'd "seen it on porno websites and wanted to try it" didn't even try it with a girlfriend either, was just a random one night stand, no protection. Worrying.

I'm not perfect by all means but I did have safe sex and not till i was 16 and I didn't get any warped ideas from porn purely because my Dad kept the computer in our front room and when he wasnt there it stayed off and there was a password me and my brother didn't know. In hindsight, I'm so glad he did that for me as some of the porn I see now is very extreme and at 14 - 17 years old I was naive and silly and would probably think boys would expect that sort of sexual activity from me. At that age you are very vulnerable and want to grow up as quickly as possible and prove you are all mature and that stuff. I think I'll have the same mentality as my Dad, shared computer, password only I know.

[modifiedmum]

As well as the fact the internet wasn't like what it was today, free porn was hard to come by and it was dial up so was useless!

[BertieBotts]

OP have you seen this website: makelovenotporn.com/

It's aimed at teens (although has a disclaimer saying you must be 18 to enter, as there is some explicit discussion) and it supposed to send the message that sex is not like porn.

The other thing I'd think was important to talk to them about was the fact that a lot of women in porn are coerced into it, or even trafficked so that the producers can make money out of them. It is by nature a very exploitative industry, and the ones who are producing it ethically make less money, so they're less likely to be as accessible as the stuff which is morally dodgy, all about profit, reeling you in. Even free websites are counted in this because often they serve as a front to direct traffic to other high revenue websites.

[MadAboutHotChoc]

This article is a good one:

www.guardian.co.uk/lifeandstyle/2010/jul/02/gail-dines-pornography

[ripsishere]

I tried our local non emergency police number. They were close to hopeless.
Looking into CEOPS now. It is a scary site.

[BertieBotts]

Hope you manage to report it to someone, ripisphere. Awful :(

[MamaMaiasaura]

My ds1 (12) was shown graphic porn by school friend aged 8 and them at secondary school (this year) it was rife on all the smartphones. Ds came home and started accessing harder and harder stuff online. I had no idea and stupidly didn't put Internet restrictions on as only on pc downstairs and never thought he'd access stuff. I mean rape and violent sex and god knows what else. He started becoming very anxious and stomach upsets and told me everything. He was beside himself and wanted to get the images out of his head I did a whole thread about it a couple of months back. Horrendous and very damaging to a child. I went to school and they gave investigated and stopped some of it, but it's happening again at school, and it will as they won't ban phones

[lastnerve]

They need to enable complete parental controls, moderate safe search still is not adequate.

[Parttimeslave]

Absolutely lastnerve - complete parental controls. You opt-in deliberately if you want to access it. Should have been the case years ago. We had parental controls on all computers up until the last couple of years. As my boys are older now, they have the computers on all the time for studying etc. (doing research!). I'm sure they were shown stuff at school or around their mates houses anyway. I really wish that porn wasn't so readily available at the touch of a button. I think it's storing up problems for the future.

Thanks for your comments/advice everyone.

[tescoworker]

its not natural!!!!!! u crazy

[lastnerve]

porn is not natural, but the urge for adolescents to look at 'rude images' is perfectly natural.

[tescoworker]

nope! u crazy man