Teenager refusing to come on holiday

[Albertine2012]

My 16 yr old son is refusing to come on holiday with us - we are due to go next Friday. He has Aspergers and is really not responsible/mature enough to be left alone for a week. My husband and I really need a holiday and our other child is looking forward to going and it is all paid for. Any suggestions?

[mumblechum1]

Oh dear. Before I realised he had Aspergers I was going to suggest leaving him for the week.

OK, PGL? They go up to 17.

Or Grandparents/Aunts/Friends from school with parents who could be bribed?

One of you stays at home for half the holiday, then swap with the other?

Would he understand if you told him how much it would upset the rest of the family if you can't go?

[mosschops30]

Dd (16) has refused to come with us this year. Shes staying with my mother instead

[Albertine2012]

Trouble is, he doesnt want to go anywhere - just wants to stay here and seel his friends. We live in Glasgow and are going to North Scotland. Being Aspergers he has no care what other people think and how much it will upset us / cost is if we dont go. He is v stubborn and has been saying he doesnt want to come for some time. I would leave him for a day but def not for a week especially as we cant get back to Glasgow quickly if something happens. Any bright ideas????

[usualsuspect]

Could he take a friend with him?

[yellowraincoat]

Can you show him the many wonders of Northern Scotland to try to entice him? Anything he'd fancy doing where you're going? Where are you going? I come from NE so might be able to suggest something if that's where you're going. What is he into?

[imnotmymum]

Oh a tricky age. Suggestions ? Bring a friend, stay with a family member, let him choose somewhere to go whilst on holiday ??

[cormsilky]

is there anyone who could stay at your house for that week? Or bring a friend. We have the same problem with ds - we always bring his best friend now if we can and it works really well ( I feel for his friend by the end of the holiday though...!)

[bigbluebus]

If he's anything like my DS, it will be the prospect of a week without PS3 and computer that makes him want to stay at home. If this is the case with your DS could you tell him you will remove said equipment whilst you are away - so that the benfit of staying at home is less attractive and/ or offer to take one piece of equipment on holiday (to be used with restricitons such as - if he goes on family day out, he gets XX amount of time on games).

I appreciate that others will say "he is 16 - you can't control him like that" but as he has Aspergers, he is not as mature as a NT 16yo and sometimes you do have to make these choices for them. (My DS has HF ASD)