How to help son through friend's sudden death

[Brightspark1]

Oh God, it's me again. DS has rung from uni in tears as school friend has just died suddenly. He is coming home early ( to find sister has gone into care). Has anyone else got experience of supporting DC through similar?

[purplecupcake]

i think all you can do is be there if he needs to talk or a shoulder to cry on, other than that let him grieve in his own way :)

[ripsishere]

Hope it's OK in the spark household.
Depending on how he (and you) are coping, has he tried the Samaritans?

[SecretSquirrels]

How awful.
If you have a local hospice they may have someone who can offer advice. My son lost a (not close) school friend when my father was in the hospice and they were very supportive even though the other boy had not been a patient.

[Existential]

I have been in the same situation as your son when a friend of mine died suddenly and unexpectedly at university.

What was most helpful was staying at university and being with other friends who knew her and were going through the same emotions.

Other things that helped were a kind priest who invited us for tea and just sat and listened to us explain what had happened and what type of girl our friend was. Even if your son isn't particularly religious - it can come into its own at this sort of time.

Another group of students organised an impromptu memorial, played guitar and sang some really simple moving songs. (Tear-ing up just remembering that evening).

I guess what I'm saying is that he may get more support at university, but of course be available to listen to him and help him out in any practical ways you can - enough money, food parcels to make him feel looked after. Kindness is the word!

I have never forgotten my friend and her death changed my outlook on life completely and for the better. I suddenly realised the things we strive for and seem so important just amounts to "stuff" that has no meaning without the person.


Take care

[Brightspark1]

Thanks, it was a schhool friend here at home. He is hoping to come home early from uni for the funeral. Then it will be lots of listening and a shoulder to cry on. I suppose you can't shield them from the grim side of life, In some ways it might be good for me to be able to help him

[OlympicEater]

Oh your poor DS

I think at times like this, he just needs his Mum

[Confuzzled128]

You don't happen to be around the Reading vincinity do you? Because I lost a friend this evening and one last week both from a car accident. Sort of looking for advice as well. Sorry to hijack the post.