DD was 14 just this week. She is tall and very attractive and i knew it wouldnt be long before we had interest from boys etc.
It came to my attention from her facebook page that some of the people who wished her a happy birthday were a) wayyyy older than her and b) she didnt actually know half of them.
One of these face book "friends" was a bloody sailor whos ship docks here, he looked about 40, another was in Germany, looked in his 20's and was posing naked in front of a mirror! i was horrified and very very angry with DD.
DD had gone to bed, and i asked her older brother to hack into her fb account so i could see if she had had any conversations with these men, which to my massive relief she hadnt,
The following day i sat with her, we had a talk about internet safety etc and she deleted all the people on her facebook account that she didnt actually know in person. She also agreed to my having her password and seemed to fully accept and understand how silly she had been.
Great.
except that while i was on her account, i read her messages....now i knew she has been on about a lad for a while, he is 15, goes to a school nearby and she met him through friends. BUT he is 15, and there conversations really shocked me. Some of it was quite sexually explicit.
I have spoken to DD about boys etc, but how can i broach this without letting on i read her private messages? I did it for the best of intentions, to make sure she wasnt speaking with these older random men she had added, but i feel like ive read her diary or something....
We have talked, about boys in general, she swears she doesnt have a boyfriend, she swears she has not met this lad but simply talks to him on FB and she says she isnt ready for a boyfriend yet. I want to believe and trust her and she has never given me any reason not to,
but i dont want her to be wanking fodder for a 15 yr old either....he has obviously been asking her to send him some photos etc, which she appeared to have refused....i have talked to her about the danger of sending 'those' sort of pictures and she says a girl as school did it and ended up a laughing stock after the lad she sent it to posted it publicly....so she says she would never do that etc.
but their conversations were very sexually oriented and i cant help but feel shocked. We do have a really open relationship but she obviously feels she cant speak to me, or simply doesnt want to, about sex.
She promises me that when she does get a boyfriend she will tell me, and we have talked about contraception etc....but she is the one who gets embarrassed and wont really engage with me about it, she just rolls her eyes and goes "yes mum"....
What to do here do you think? this boy obviously fancies her and i suspect from the flirting going on she likes him.....its only gonna be a matter of time....help!
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14yr old dd - how should i be broaching this one then?
9 replies
ThatVikRinA22 · 13/07/2011 17:37
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themildmanneredjanitor ·
13/07/2011 19:42
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