Friends over after school

[WillIEverBeASizeTen]

My DS is 13. He wants a friend/s over every day after school. He goes to friends also but when he's at home, needs to have constant company. How many times a week would you allow friends over?

[seeker]

Depends. What about homework, Scouts, music practice and so on? Does it all get done? Does it mean any extra work for you? Does it mean he never spenda any time with his siblings? Anre the friends polite and OK to have around?

[generalhaig]

ds1 never has friends over after school - his school is a few miles away so his friends come from a wide radius but a few live pretty close

however they're all so busy - ds has homework and has a 2 hour training session every night and lots of his friends are similar so he tends just to see friends at weekends and holidays

a lot of his friends are friends from his sport (and it's where he sees girls ) so his training is his equivalent of having friends over really

I wouldn't be happy with friends over every day - he needs to be comfortable in his own company and that of his family

[50000feet]

Better they are in your house and you know whats happening than out on the streets geting into trouble with you worrying what he is up to.

[dexter73]

My dd always has friends round during the week and at the weekend. Lots of her friends parents don't allow them at their houses so they always end up at ours. I don't mind them coming over as they are always very friendly and polite.

[cyrilsneer]

There is no time to have friends over during the school week in our house.

We used to have friends to play and have tea when the children were little but it really stopped after Primary School. As others have said - homework, music practice, Scouts, sports training and matches. Oh, and family supper, shower, bit of telly and into bed at a sensible time.

I have a houseful every weekend though - I am happy to encourage my kids to have their (delightful) friends over and am feeding people and having people stay over pretty much every weekend. Although this will be scaled back significantly as we go into exam season.

[WillIEverBeASizeTen]

Thank you very much for all your replies, they have given me something to think about...

[RubyFakeNails]

We seem to have someone in the house nearly every night. DD2 is still in primary and has friends over regularly or goes to theirs for tea. She sees less of them at weekends except for parties etc. DD (15) and DS (14) are constantly in out of their friends houses and we always have someone staying over.

Unfortunately the parents of their friends seem to be a bit miserable, meaning we end up with about 15-20 kids in the house at the weekend, but I enjoy it and they are all polite and listen if I ask them to do something. Plus provides great range of babysitting for DD2.!

[MADABOUTTHEBOY2000]

I echo what cyrilsneer says too much going on in the week but i do have and open door policy at weekends as long as weve not already decided to have a big family day out to alton towers or something then anyones welcome to stay/visit as long as they are polite of course but at primary they didnt get masses of homework so had their friends round after school then, but have also had to cut that down slightly as DS is doing exams atm and has a lot comming up

[sowhatshallido]

Ds typically might go to a friends once a week and we have someone round - just one usually. Weekends he may be in and out with friends, sometimes sleepover at theirs or ours. Some weeks he might not have friends over, some weeks he might a couple of midweek nights.
As long as his homework is up to date i think its vital that he sees the house as somewhere that he is free to bring his friends and feels comfortable to do so.