Potential fumblings of 13/14 year olds!!

[Shilo10]

I have a nearly 14 year old DD and have become increasingly alarmed by discussions a friend has had with her.
Apparently her friend, and her boyfriend had mutual hand relief at the back of a cinema recently, plus another had given oral sex to her boyfriend, and is also planning on going "all the way" at her 14th party.
I am worried sick about all this and need some advice and maybe suggested reading matter to calm my mental panic!
I am also torn between discussing this girls future intended actions with her mother, as surely I would want to know if my daughter was planning on doing this.
PLEASE HELP!!

[inthesticks]

First of all it seems that your DD has felt able to discuss this with you which is a healthy sign.
I would talk to your DD about relationships as well as sex and contraception and encourage her to feel she can confide in you.
I have a 15 year old DS and from what I can gather they are most definately not all at it, even if they talk about it.. He has a GF and it certainly worries me but I talk to him regularly about sex and relationships and I hope he has the right attitude.
As far as the friend's mum is concerned I would not speak to her unless she is a very close friend.

[TheVisitor]

"Apparently" is the key here. Kids that age talk about it FAR more than actually do it. It's good to keep the lines of communication open between you and your daughter, but I do think that there's a lot of talking the talk.

[Ooopsadaisy]

Rather than worrying about talking to your dd's friend's mother, I think you should talk to your dd.

They are not all at it at this age but the only way to have a handle on what your dd is up to and how she is coping with peer pressure/puberty/sexual feelings etc is to to talk to her.

Not a lecture - a chat.

Tell her about your teenage years and she will be more likely to open up. Tell her what boys you fancied, parties you went to etc and she will confide in you.

Have a "no hassle" chat about condoms and self-esteem and respecting herself. Tell her you had all these isshhoooos too.