Stopping dyeing and returning to grey

[FenellaFieldmouse]

I've been colouring my hair since my late thirties to cover grey. I got fed up in my mid 40s and had a very short crop and stopped with the dye. It was very liberating and I felt free and strong.
Then I was tempted back into dyeing it again. My friends wanted me to go back, partly I suspect because my grey hair reflected badly on them, people would realise their age more perhaps. My new partner expressed when asked his opinion, a preference for darker and longer hair.
I have enjoyed growing my hair longer and going dark again but it's such a faff to keep it up and expensive and it's not doing the condition any good. I think I'd like to keep the length but return to grey.
Anyone made a positive decision to go grey, against the opinion of friends, partners etc? Did the attitude of other people, toward you change? My friends say that it will immediately cause people to treat me differently, that society makes assumptions based on looks and no matter how positive I feel I'll be creating some kind of limit on how society views me, as an older woman.
Also on a practical level is it best to go a bit lighter and fade to grey as it were or just let it grow in with the grey stripe down the parting, badger-like?

[Archduke]

I have let my hair go grey, I'm in my 40's and the first in my group to brave it. Sometimes I love it and sometimes I feel old and frumpy.
I definitely feel like I need to be more switched on with make up etc and try to looked groomed rather than just grey and unkempt.
I do think having grey hair has aged me but I was complimented by a stranger the other day. I am trying to be cool and stylish grey rather than old lady grey but it's not without complications.
On the upside I am saving shitloads of cash and its in great condition.

[Archduke]

Oh and I would lighten your hair to grow it out rather than do the sudden white stripe thing - too alarming,

[MyVisionsComeFromSoup]

I've been fully grey and undyed since I turned 40 (am now 45). People do think I'm older than I am (but I had DD1 comparatively young, so generally people do), but since i had my colours done a couple of years ago, and gave up the colours that didn't actually suit me, I do get complimented, and told I'm looking well.

I'm growing my hair a bit longer to see what it looks like, and as I haven't been to the hairdresser for a while very long time the ends are a bit untidy, and I may be venturing into mad old bat territory. Lipstick helps and more structured clothes.

[70isaLimitNotaTarget]

Is the dark colour right for your skin tone ?
Even if you had dark hair previously, your natural skin tones change (I see waaay too many women where I live with dyed black hair because that's what they used to have. It looks dull, soot-like, un-natural)

I have mid/dark natural and have gone gradually lighter , now I'm coppery blonde. Yes it's a faff but I'm not brave enough (or grey enough yet)

When I do, I'll look like Carol from the Walking Dead

[Finola1step]

My SIL did this. She died her hair regularly back to her natural, pre grey colour. I had no idea how grey/white she was until she started growing it out. She did have the half head white, half head dark brown for some time. She was about 47/48 when she did it.

Now, it looks great. Lovely white and grey. Fab condition and she saves a ton of money. She dresses "young" so that helps. Lots of nice White Stuff, Fat Face etc.

I started going slowly grey at 26. Have been dying my hair for over 25 years. Only use home dye kits now to keep the cost down. But the grey isn't covered so well now. More blended. So the time is coming.

I think I will gradually lighten my hair over the coming months and then go for the grow out!

[FenellaFieldmouse]

Had to google Carol from the walking dead. That's sort of how my hair used to be!
Now I've got a blunt bob and would be aiming for stylish, sassy and strong. I agree about the changing skin tone and it's something that I've been aware of. I try to always wear lipstick and I occasionally wear blusher but am very wary of looking as if I'm trying too hard.
Thing is, my eyebrows are dark and thick and I don't want to end up looking like that politician

[FenellaFieldmouse]

www.foiacentre.com/FOIACentreads/DFT_Alistair_Darling_cropped.jpg

[dixiejo]

I'm 43 and made the decision a few weeks ago to stop dying my hair back to my usual (dark brown) colour. I have a 5year old and just couldn't justify the time in a hairdresser for a colour. So home dye was my only option and, aside from beginning to be not quite covering the greys well enough, I just hated the monotone "lego" hair (both on myself and when I saw others doing it).
I'm lucky that my partner is generally supportive of whatever style choices I make - including embracing my grey - but a few close friends and my mum are horrified. That's fine - their choice to keep dyeing if they want.
Of course, in all honesty I'm trepidacious about the result; mainly nervous in case I look/am treated like an old woman but the more of us that do this, the more we will challenge society's stereotypes.
Like pp, I booked a colour analysis (and told her my plan to go grey) so that has really helped with confidence in my decision, knowing that Im picking colours that suit the "new me". It has helped give me a sense of purpose - that Im not so much "giving up" on something but that I have a new journey to look forward to. Also, I had a pixie cut (from my usual bob) in the hopes this will speed up the growing-out process. I agree that decent make-up (not loads, even just a great lipstick) and well-cut, modern clothes will make a big difference.
I am enjoying the journey; I feel liberated. Come and join the revolution !!