my step daughters pregnant......

[drloves8]

..... does that make me a granny? or should baby call me by my name... whats the ettiqute here?

[FiveGoMadInDorset]

My mother is called by her name and also Grandma, my DC's call their step grandmother by her name.

[drloves8]

, does it depend on how close a bond you have with your step-child?. i would imagine if you were a full time step muum for a very long time then you might get the granny title?????

[FiveGoMadInDorset]

Was going to add that but wasn't sure. My mother has been married to my father for over 40 years so has been in my siblings lives since the youngest was about 2. My SMIL has only been in our lives for a very short time and as we don't see them and there are huge tensions between DH and his father and SM then she gets called X

Take your lead from your step daughter.

[FiveGoMadInDorset]

Oh and congratulations.

[foureleven]

hmm... thats a funny one... I have step daughter and my daughter has a step mum and but they only use those descriptions when talking about us i.e. my step mums picking me up from school today.

But to our face they call us by first name.

However they call our parents grannie and grandad to their faces... hmm tricky one. Leave it to step daughter to decide definitily.

[Doodleydoo]

My mum is a step granny and it was discussed with her prior to the first dsgc arriving. So they shorterned her name and the first one couldn't say it so it evolved into something else which now all sgc and my dd call her. A bit nicer than granny/nana/etc for my mum as she didn't feel old enough to be granny at the time, only people who are confused are non family members but quite nice to be something original? For you?

[feedthegoat]

I think it depends on the relationship. It has to be her call, surely.

My brothers partners dd calls my parents Grandma and Grandad and my brother Daddy. This was what she choose to do. She always refers to by ds as her cousin and he does the same.

To be honest, I only ever refer to her as my step niece on here. Elsewhere she is just my niece.

[drloves8]

Well , all the kids (mine ,dh`s and ours together) call each other brother/sister. They will be aunties and uncles.. .
tbh id love to be "granny/gran" but dont really know what would be ok.

[2rebecca]

Ask your stepdaughter. I find it odd that my stepchildren call their mum's dad's second wife by her first name when she has been married to their grandfather from before they were born. Their mum's mum however was very bitter about the divorce and so the mum wanted the second wife called by her first name to appease the first wife (her mum).
It didn't really affect anything though and my stepkids are closer to her than to their mum's mum.
The name doesn't matter, the relationship does.

[serenity]

I'd talk to her.

I call my SDad by his first name (he was a family friend for years before he got together with my Mum when I was in my late teens) and unfortunately didn't really think about how the Dcs should then address him, and they refer to him by his first name too. My SIL (DB's wife) has only known him as our Dad, so her DCs have automatically called him Grandad. I'm pretty by it tbh, and am trying to amend that (try and remember to call him Grandad X to the DCs)

If my Mum or SDad had said something at the beginning I would have done that from the start!

[TrillianAstra]

Depends on your bond with your stepdaughter, and whether you are likely to be taking on a 'granny' type role.

Presumably your DH will be granddad so IMO it makes sense for you to be grandma, but best (as with most baby-related questions) to check what the mum wants to do.

It's fine for the baby to have 3 sets of grandparents by the way, or even 4 if the father's parents are also separated/divorced with new partners.

[ConnorTraceptive]

ds's call there step grandfather grandad

[Thediaryofanobody]

I called my step granddad granddad to me he was and always will be just granddad. He was the one who gave us pocket money and let us watch him make his model boats and hold the glue. I've only met my 'real' grandfather once about 5 years after my 'step' granddad died, I refuse (it was requested by my aunt to call him granddad during her wedding day) to call him by anything other than his christian name as I felt it would be disrespectful to my granddad.

Regardless of what adults will try and decide the child will probably view you as granny and call you it so I wouldn't worry.

[dadaz]

My Wife likes to be called by her name by my Daughter.

It makes her feel younger :-)