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Step-parenting

Stepmum = Housekeeper: does anyone else feel like this?

4 replies

Onestepatatime · 10/11/2007 15:49

When my stepkids (26,22 & gsd, 3) come to stay (like at Christmas) it's always the same, my job description goes like this:

  • shop for presents for everyone
  • wrap presents for everyone
  • organise meals
  • food shopping
  • all preparation and cooking
  • clearing dishes
  • washing up
  • keeping house tidy, picking up plates, cups, toys, towels etc left lying around
  • preparing beds (i.e.making up in various rooms)
  • hoovering
  • washing of all bedding & towels

(This is all the stuff i do for my own 2 kids,of course, but they are both under 10!)
I dont mind the constant chores, though, it's the 'us' and 'me' ethos that comes about. I often feel like I'm the servant/housekeeper, slogging away while they all sit together relaxing, oblivious . DH is normally loving, supportive and attentive, but when steps are around, it's like I become invisible. It's like Upstairs Downstairs, only I'm the only member of staff! Nobody offers to help with chores, it's as if they completely take it all for granted.
I get increasingly p*ed off,by the time they finally leave [usually without a word of thanks, barely a 'goodbye' sometimes], and I emerge from the servants quarters, I feel drained and resentful.
I guess I am just crap at being a stepmother!! If I'd realised I was applying for the job of Slave/Housekeeper I'm not sure I would have ever applied!
OP posts:
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bossykate · 10/11/2007 15:55
  • shop for presents for everyone
  • wrap presents for everyone
  • organise meals
  • food shopping
  • preparing beds (i.e.making up in various rooms)
  • preparing beds (i.e.making up in various rooms)


the tasks above are just part and parcel of having people to stay at christmas no? where as the remaining tasks....

  • all preparation and cooking
  • clearing dishes
  • washing up
  • keeping house tidy, picking up plates, cups, toys, towels etc left lying around
  • hoovering...


think the adult dsds and your dh should be pitching in with all those tasks while they are staying. do you ask them to help? in my house it is more like "right, so and so, you're on washing up detail with me, abc, please can you clear up the sitting room, tom, dick and harry it's time for you to take the kids to the park." yes i am that bossy.

in summary, sorry some of that stuff is simply part of having guests (but you dh should deffo be doing his share, the rest of it should be a joint effort.

hth.
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bossykate · 10/11/2007 15:57

you have another thread with a different title and the same message.

are you a journalist?

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bossykate · 10/11/2007 16:00

sorry if you're not! just a bit of a way with words, two threads on same subject - lifestyle section topic

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dragonstitcher · 21/11/2007 15:13

(((hugs))) I feel exactly like that.

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