Help..! I am losing my mind here.. My 23yr old DSS moved in with my DH, me and our 3 DC aged 15, 9 and 5 in September last year after he split with his girlfriend. It was my suggestion as his mum had refused to have him back.
We have a second reception room which we were going to turn into an adult only zone but gave to him as a bedroom.
He has 2 DD's aged 2 & 3 who I love to bits and whom we agreed to have every weekend. This meant that my 9 year old DS has to share a bedroom with my 5 year old DS at weekends limiting his ability to have friends over for sleepovers but it has worked reasonably well.
This was supposed to be a temporary arrangement whilst he got back on his feet.
However fast forward 9 months and he's showing no signs of moving on at all.. Me and DH spend every weekend looking after DC and DGC whilst he plays on his Xbox. He works full time and pays £40 per week board (which he thinks is too much) but he eats more than £40 in food per week.
If I ask him to pick up a loaf or some milk on the way home he expects us to reimburse him and he also expects us to do his cooking as well as for his DD''s. He doesn't help around the home at all and it's starting to cause arguments between me and DH.
When he's not at work he spends all his time playing on his Xbox and if we ask him to do anything we get a mouthful of abuse.
We also found out recently from a neighbour that whilst we where on holiday he was smoking weed in the back garden which I was furious about.
I really feel that he needs man up , start behaving like a grown man and a dad and move out now. I want to give him a deadline but DH thinks I'm being harsh. WWYD?
Apologies for the long post but I didn't want to drop feed 
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Step-parenting
Need advice re adult DSS
Thelaundrylady · 12/06/2016 20:04
OMG, how did you explain that to the girl's parents??! 
Of course he needs to go, no negotiations! And I would limit the DGC to EOW too....your DC also need you and your time!
Thank you all - he has gone.. It has caused massive arguments with DH but I'm not backing down. It's time he bloody well grew up 
Apparently we are never going to be allowed to see DGC ever again - we'll see !
Fortunately my DD's friends parents are good friends of mine and where fantastic about the whole sorry mess.
I have had messages from DSS's mother asking me to reconsider as she's really worried about him - my answer, if you're that worried get him to live with you.!
He has abused my trust in the most awful way and he will never be left alone with his younger siblings ever again
I spoke to my sister in law (DH's older sister) this afternoon. She agrees completely with what I've done and would have done the same herself. She going to give DSS and DH hell 
You've definitely done the right thing. I love the fact you told his mum to take him back then!
Go you! 
Fairylea - thank you lol.. Funny but she didn't reply to that message ! She has messaged me to tell me that he is sleeping in his car in tesco carpark tonight.
I said why don't you tell him to drive to a hotel ? Emotional blackmail doesn't work for me
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Well done you!!!! 
!!
It must have been incredibly difficult and awkward for you, and I hope your DH is on board with you, even though I understand completely how upsetting it must be for him! I have seen young people behave similarly in my life and family, and I know it's almost a right of passage through teen years, to be selfish and stroppy...but he's a grown man, who will now have to take responsibility for his own, and his DC's lives!
Whatever you do, don't relent and allow him back...you don't want to go through this again!
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