Sexual Behaviour and Stepkids

[JackieJay83]

Hi. Newbie, so sorry to jump straight in with a heavy one, but there are so many posts to search and I was getting nowhere.

I have a 12 y-o Son and a 10 y-o Daughter and moved in with my partner of 4 years and his 13 y-o daughter last Summer.

It's all been pretty blissful, even Christmas, but I have had some concerns lately. A few weeks ago we were at a family party and drunken banter was getting sexual. There was some talk about penis size and I overheard DSD whisper "You got no worries there" to DS. I nearly spat out my Merlot! I've now been watching them and thinking back and they DO spend a lot of time in one or other of their rooms. Also, DS HAS got a big willy, but how would she know? During half term I deliberately walked in on them in DSD's room without knocking and they were sat watching TV but there was a definite jumping apart and some red faces.

I was worried the kids wouldn't get on, now I'm worried they're getting on too well. What should I do, pleeease???

[sebsmummy1]

I think you have legitimate concerns as your children are not blood relatives and are at a time of their lives when hormones are running rife. I have no idea how you stop anything going on between them as really there is nothing you can do if they are determined.

[Tipofthenose]

Reported this thread

Interesting first post op .

[JackieJay83]

Have I done something wrong? It is my first post but I've looked across chat to see if anyone else has asked this but couldn't find anything. Should I have made idle talk on other threads first? I thought mumsnet might help...

[VashtaNerada]

Nothing wrong, sometimes people suspect first posts are made up but let MNHQ worry about that! Assuming it's genuine, I think all you can do is keep an eye on them and encourage the door to be open when they're together. Don't say anything yet as you might have it wrong, but just in case make sure they both understand the consequences of a sexual relationship at a young age.

[JackieJay83]

Thanks both. I have to say that doing nothing isn't going to be easy, but you may be right. I still suspect I'll be acting oddly and freaking them out...

[ChoochiWoo]

Has your DH noticed anything?

[yellowdaisies]

Were your DS and DSD drunk at the family party, or just the adults? I'd make a house rule that bedrooms are basically private spaces and let them watch TV or whatever they want together downstairs.

[Tipofthenose]

"Also, DS HAS got a big willy, but how would she know? "

Really???

That's a very strange way of talking about your son.

[ChoochiWoo]

Tip is probably cuz shes his mum and.she dresses him or did dress him, but does look a tad odd to mention it.

[Singlegaymumofonetoddler]

I'd like to show you some support here for your very legitimate post and worries. I see nothing wrong with you pointing out your sons anatomy in relation to evidence towards your fears with your step daughter. Utterly ridiculous for people to get all het up - oh lord you said 'big willy' in 2015?! Let's all focus on that for no reason shall we? Grow up.
I think your worries are completely warranted, I'd be worried if I were you. We all know what we were like as teenagers and kids are even less innocent these days.
It might be good to have a talk with your kids before things get out of hand. Also talk to your husband to form a united front.
Good luck and ignore the holier-than-thou rubbish on here. We are all struggling and this is supposed to be a SUPPORTIVE forum.

[Tipofthenose]

Good luck and ignore the holier-than-thou rubbish on here. We are all struggling and this is supposed to be a SUPPORTIVE forum.

You sound a tad on edge, no?

It's an open forum so I bloody well post what I like and how I see fit as long as it doesn't breach mn talk guidelines. In actual fact in your own grumpy way your post is "holier than though rubbish" IMHO. Take a chill pill.

[PeruvianFoodLover]

This isn't a new, or even unusual dilemma for blended families.

When I was a young teen (13), a boy and girl in my class became stepsibs when their parents dated/cohabited/married.
They (the two teens) were thrown together for long periods of time, and it wasn't long before the girl (who was my BFF as the time) sought the morning after pill - with much drama and chaos ensuing as the other parents became involved.
The two teens took a significant dislike to each other from then on - to the point where they were moved classes at school, and my friend was privately fostered as she refused to spend time at home with her mum, as it meant spending time with her stepsib.

[JackieJay83]

Thanks to the supportive folk. My other half thinks I'm over-reacting, says there have been lots of ways DSD could have seen/worked out what DS's ahem 'willy' is like, says he's more worried about acne'd 16 y-o's than DS. I will be trying out a new "door policy" - we sort of allowed closed doors while the families integrated, but maybe it's time for new rules. PeruvianFoodLover's scenario haunts me though - if they are "together" the consequences could be horrible. Rational me says it's probably okay and confronting the issue could do more harm than good, but we'll see. Would still welcome tips from anyone who's been here...

[JackieJay83]

Sorry, can I delete the double post?

[olgaga]

There is nothing irrational about your concern at this growing closeness you have sensed.

This isn't a new phenomenon, either between siblings or step siblings. Inappropriate comments are an obvious warning.

I think you are right to be vigilant whether your DH is oblivious or not.