Step mum has aired her views infront of kids

[blippers]

In need of some advice please!
I had a bit of a run in with my ex's girlfriend. My kids were there but not sure they heard these specific things which she said - she doesn't want my kids in her house and she doesn't want me on her doorstep again! When I came away from the girlfriend my kids were upset saying they didn't want to go there again or be with her. I have emailed my ex but not had any reply yet. I'm due to take the kids round this morning and just need to say something to them to make them feel ok and not have any worries.
They are aware I don't get on with the girlfriend which I know doesn't help.
My kids are 5 and 8.
Advice would be much appreciated thanks!

[yoyo27]

Don't take them where they're not wanted. Arrange to meet your ex somewhere mutual

[KitbitAgain]

What yoyo said. They are feeling vulnerable, ring Ex and tell him to sort it and keep them with you till he does

[blippers]

I have a court order stating I must drop the kids to my ex's house and I know that if I do request somewhere mutual, which I would MUCH prefer, he would kick off!

[VivaLeBeaver]

You need to talk to your ex. If its his house as well then surely he wants his kids there. Does he know what she said? Hopefully he will put his kids first and dump her which is what I'd do if any partner of mine said that about my kids.

[blippers]

My thoughts exactly! It's both their house but she kept saying 'my' which I thought was a bit odd! I emailed my ex after it happened but all I got back was "what time are you dropping the kids off tomorrow". I find that odd too! No acknowledgement of the issue!

[blippers]

Their dad has said nothing. I rarely speak with her so maybe it was her chance to have a go?! I'm sure it's hard to have 2 kids come into your house when you have your own kid and routine. But they had an affair and she knew at that point there were 2 kids in the mix. My 8 year old has said the girlfriend doesn't like them and doesn't want them there before this happened. So there must be a negative vibe for her to pick on that. So frustrated cos there's not much I can do.

[MummyA1984]

Yeah you definitely can do something - court order or no court order, you're their mum you do what's right for them. If the kids are unhappy and don't want to go then personally I would gently encourage them to go but I wouldn't force them. If they and/or you are not happy change the arrangements to suit and tell your ex you're taking it back to court to get the court order changed. Tell your solicitor you feel threatened to go into their home! She's really out of order. Personally I'm the step mum in our situation and as awful as dh ex gf is I've never said a word to her and certainly wouldn't in front of ss or where he'd hear. My ss step dad is the same, he's never got involved.

[TheMumsRush]

If she doesn't want them in her house and doesn't want you on her doorstep how does she expect contact to take place? If your children can pick up on her vibe then surely her other half can as well? If I were you I would be telling him what she said and that because of that you can't take the kids around there at this moment in time.

[TheMumsRush]

Meant to also say good luck OP

[nomoretether]

I'd be pushing much harder on my exH if his fiancée tried something like this.
I would also continue to drop the children to his house but would insist that he was there and not her when dropping them off.
Not sure that returning to court is worth it - they aren't interested in squabbles.
Then all of you need to work together as adults to stop this having an impact on the children. They should not know that you don't like her - that puts them in a really awkward position. Same for her, what's she's done is appalling and your exH seriously needs to be stepping up. You can't just accept him saying nothing.