dsd asked to call me 'mummy'

(30 Posts)
kasareem Fri 20-Sep-13 17:38:42

Hi guys,
I just want a few opinions about how I handled this please. Dh and I got married earlier this year, and the next morning dsd sweetly announced 'now I can call you mummy!' So so sweet and I know how lucky I an to have a good relationship with her. But they lost her mum when she was 3, and we try very hard to keep her memory alive for my dsd. I feel as though being called mummy would not only confuse dsd, but would be hurtful for dh and her grandparents to hear. I suggested another name such as 'mum'. But now I'm worried that dsd may have felt pushed away or like I was distancing myself from her.
Sorry for the long post! Any thoughts or advice would be great!

hermioneweasley Sun 22-Sep-13 20:45:24

Agree with others, you need to think about what's best for her. If you're planning to have more kids, I'd suggest a name that you are happy for them all to call you, and not have a different name that DSD calls you. If that's "mummy" and that's hard for her bio GPs then so be it. Talk to them and prepare them, but DSDs needs come first.

PrincessFlirtyPants Sun 22-Sep-13 20:47:44

OP, it should be about what your DSD wants.

Maybe she is yearning for that her friends at school have a 'mummy'. It might be that other girls/boys in her class are talking about their DM's and she feels left out.

It sounds like the two of you ave a great relationship so that's wonderful. It must be lovely for her to have someone she feels like she can call 'mummy' after the pain of losing her own.

If you were to speak to your DH and her GP's I think it's important to exlain that you want to keep the memory of her mother alive and don't want to 'replace' her or erase her memory.

PrincessFlirtyPants Sun 22-Sep-13 20:49:41

Oops, x-posted with Frau on other kids at school

ALittleBitOfMagic Sun 22-Sep-13 21:00:01

IMHO you sound like an amazing stepmum and your dsd obviously loves you and has bonded well with you . I can understand how you are feeling awkward but if you are ttc and go on to have dcs , and your dsd feels she wants to call you mummy , I actually think its important that she should so as not to single her out . Your relationship has obviously been developing well and this is another part of that development . Congratulations and good luck ttc smilesmile

AmberLeaf Sun 22-Sep-13 22:22:42

I think your DSD is telling/showing you what she wants/needs.

What is right for her is the main thing and I think it would be ideal if her grandparents accepted that she wants to call you Mummy. Hopefully they will be ok with it.

You sound like you are a lovely Mummy.

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