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Step-parenting

Would it be wrong to re-register DD's birth with DP named as father or should he adopt her instead?

23 replies

WeakCough · 10/11/2012 21:54

I have a 10 year old DD who adores my DP and says he is the 'best Dad ever', etc etc. DP has expressed a wish to adopt her as I am 35 weeks pregnant and we would love to be a complete family.
DD has discussed this and would love for DP to be her 'real' dad (she knows he is not biologically).
She has never met her bio dad and he in turn does not wish to have any contact- I have given him numerous opportunities and choices over the years and he has only ever responded once to say he doesn't want to know.
There is no father named on DD's birth certificate and it strikes me that it is a much easier process to just name DP as the father on DD's birth certificate and re-register her birth- i stumbled across the info when looking at forms for DP to go and register our new baby's birth.
Can anyone see any potential problems with this? Is it morally wrong (everyone concerned knows the actual situation, nobody is being deceived- just would be so much easier!)?

OP posts:
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NatashaBee · 10/11/2012 22:06

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

AnyaKnowIt · 10/11/2012 22:08

Isn't that illegal?

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ivykaty44 · 10/11/2012 22:10

I never knew you could re register a birth 10 years later? How long after a birth has been registered can you re register it with different information.

Could I re register my birth?

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2beornot · 10/11/2012 22:11

Well if you did that she'd be able to marry her half brother (same dad) and have children. Plus it's illegal for those reasons.

Wouldn't ness have to contact biological dad - my bro and sil did it quite easily. Plus wouldn't it be nice to have that official date and celebration?!

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YDdraigGoch · 10/11/2012 22:11

Sounds immoral and illegal and basically, it's lying, though I completely understand why you'd want to do it.
Down the line it would cause problems, say if a descendant wanted to trace relatives ( for medical reasons perhaps).
Would be more honest for him to adopt her, and a good excuse for a celebration that way (annual event?)

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TheFallenMadonna · 10/11/2012 22:12

He should adopt her. Their relationship should be celebrated. My dad adopted me when he married my mum. It is one of my first memories.

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ivykaty44 · 10/11/2012 22:14

ah ha - found the form

here

But it doesn't say you can put another man down as a father when he is not the natural father - surely then that would be perjury, which you could get into serious trouble for?

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WeakCough · 10/11/2012 22:14

I don't think I would need permission for DP to adopt as father not named on birth certificate but if I did we would be buggered as even if I could contact him now I suspect we wouldn't get a reply
We would treat it in every other way as if he had adopted, including t
it being the way we explained it to friends and family, but I think we would only have a private celebration anyway, as it's nobody elses business as far as we are concerned!
I don't think there is a time limit on the re-registration as the form mentions a clause if the child is over 16.

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CelineMcBean · 10/11/2012 22:15

Um how about the fact that your dp is not her father and you will be declaring that he is? You realise that would require you to make false statements to the register which would be perjury - a criminal act.

Biology doesn't make a dad. I would think adoption is the only legal option open to you or an application for parental responsibility if that is possible?

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WeakCough · 10/11/2012 22:17

2beo- did your SIL have to give up and then adopt her own child, which is what I had heard had to be done?
What sort of process was it?

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TheFallenMadonna · 10/11/2012 22:18

He isn't her natural father. It would be a lie. Their relationship deserves to be legally valid, doesn't it?

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YDdraigGoch · 10/11/2012 22:18

I'm sure the natural father would have to give permission, someone is bound to ask for this at some point.
The fathers name on the birth cert is always the natural father, you can't lie about that.

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TheFallenMadonna · 10/11/2012 22:19

My mum had to do that, but I understand it is no longer necessary.

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tribpot · 10/11/2012 22:20

Some information here about corrections.


I think you would be committing perjury if you simply named your DP as the father. I would advise adoption as a preferable route!

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2beornot · 10/11/2012 22:48

OP my bro just adopted my DNephew. My SIL didn't have to adopt him as well. In their case the biological father had been contacted by the CSA (even though no-one asked em to) and he refused to pay and have up pr so maybe that's why?

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Revelsarethebest · 11/11/2012 12:07

My DH is on the birth certificate of a child that isnt his. His ex partner cheated on him and got pregnant by someone else, and as he already had two children with her, he wanted to make a go of things for the sake of the children.

The babys bio dad didnt want to know so my DH put his name on the birth certificate as he "wanted to take on the child as his own"

Fast forward 12 months later, he and his ex split up, and the first thing that came out of her mouth was "your not having anything to do with the child"

So now hes on the childs birth certificate, and the child has his surname (altho its double barrelled with his mums surname too) and he has nothing to do with the child and the child doesnt even know who he is and is now calling someone else daddy. (Mums new fiance)

IMO dont even go there, its messy and causes lots of problems.

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sanityseeker75 · 12/11/2012 12:55

I looked into it for my DS to have DH name and for him to have some sort of PR if anything happened to me. I was told that they (courts) would make every endeavour to contact biological father despite he had no PR or they would not process the papers.

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YDdraigGoch · 13/11/2012 15:54

And in Revels' case - that might result in him having to pay maintenance for a child that isn't his, as he's legally declared that he is the father.

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Frikadellen · 13/11/2012 16:32

Op go and ask on the legal forum however as I understand it.

You cant add him to the birth certificate as he is not his biological father nor married to you at the time of her birth. (in revels case how I understand it that was not actually illegal as they were married just perhaps not very good now for her dh)

He will need to adopt her however due to new law a few years ago that no longer means you have to adopt her too.

I would however look into getting him Parental right this is a lot easier and simpler than adoption and really only needs a few documents signed.


Like I said though post on the legal forum and see what suggestions you get.

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WeAreEternal · 13/11/2012 17:08

My sister did this last year, she was in the same situation as you, no bio dad, her partner had been in DN's life since she was 2 and the were expecting a baby.

They thought about adoption and even started the process, but were told that the bio dad would have to sign away any parental rights to DN, even though he was not on the birth certificate and had never had any contact.
DSIS said she didn't know where he was or how to find him (which was a bit of a lie because I know his brother) but also that he had no knowlage of DN being his child long story including sexual assault but DSIS was told she either had to had the forms signed by the bio dad or be able to show the court that they had made a serious effort to find and contact him (which DSIS had no intention of doing).
They were advised that it would be easier to just get her DP legal parental responsabilities and then change DN's name if they wanted to, but someone else told them that adding him to DN's birth certificate as her father would give them all of the rights and responsabilities that they wanted, and it was much easier than the alternatives.

It may not be right, but legally to can name anyone you want as the father on a child's birth certificate, as long as they are happy with it.
DSIS and her DP checked and it is not illegal or breaking any rules.
(I think they just said that they weren't together when the baby was born so DSIS registered DN alone)

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ChocHobNob · 13/11/2012 18:57

We Are Eternal, you can't name any man as the father on a birth certificate! It has to be the "natural father". It is a legal document. There is a warning, in bold on them warning you you can be prosecuted if you give incorrect information. What your sister has done is actually illegal. She should have followed the procedure for giving her partner step parent parental responsibility.

OP, I answered on your AIBU thread. Once again, it is against the law to knowingly add a man's name on a BC as the father if he isn't.

In Revel's case, the non biological father can go to court to get his name removed from the BC.

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5madthings · 13/11/2012 19:01

Err wasnt there a thread on this subject the other day and it is illegal as you are lying and know he isnt her father!

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IneedAsockamnesty · 15/11/2012 21:16

It is against the law. There are real actual laws against it.

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