Can living apart when you both have DC's work?

[zanywany]

I ask because my fiancee has just moved out but we are suposed to still be in a relationship and I wondered if anyone else has done this, possibly with DC's betweek you and found it worked. Bit of background, he moved in with me and my 2 DC's a few months ago. I have since found out he is on a bit of a financial mess and couldn't afford to pay me the tax credit I lose by being part of a 'couple' so I would be out of pocket by several hundred £'s every month.

He suggested he moves out to sort out his finances but I am now starting to think that maybe 2 addresses would be better. I am 3 months pregnant and find it hard when his 2 DC's come at the weekend, also my DC's are starting to dread them coming over. All of this has ended up in us constantly bickering.

Really confused, should I accept I won't be as well off if he moves in for the sake of our baby or should he look into renting and still try and continue a relationship with 2 seperate households.

Thanks for reading

[theredhen]

If you were arguing all the time, it's probably best for all concerned if you keep two homes until you can find a way to resolve your differences.

[ChaoticismyLife]

Hi zany

I think he should move out until he's at least got his finances sorted out. After that you could try and discuss how you'll solve the problems that are causing you to bicker before moving back in again.

Just make sure you keep communicating while living separately.

[elastamum]

Works for me! My DP lives about 1 1/2 hrs away but round the ourner from his ex - he co parents. I live in the next village from mine. Our teenage children get on well when they are together, but I'm sure that they are better off not thrown togehter.

Two households are not a problem for us - we have never had a row in 18 months

[brdgrl]

My (now)DH and I lived apart until our DD was six months old, mainly because of the issues around 'blending families' and DSCs (he had kids already and I did not, so a bit different than your situation).

It suited me very well, and I don't think DD suffered from it at all either; if we could have coped financially with having two households, I would have been happy to continue that way for longer. DH found it harder than I did because he was the one who felt pulled between two households, but I think he would still agree that it was the right thing for us at the time.

[zanywany]

Thanks guys. He says he has his finances sorted but I have to admit I have loved having my own space again. With the amount of tax credit I will lose he may as well rent a flat nearby for the same amount of money. Don't think he will be keen though. Didn't think that 'blending' 2 families together would be soooo hard