Can a stepmum claim money through CSA?

[amigagal]

Ok, my husband is being useless at getting any maintenance money from his ex wife for their two children who now live with us full time. Does anyone know if I can claim? As payment of the mortgage was part of the divorce settlement, he us still effectively paying her even though she doesn't have the children anymore. It seems unfair that she's completely avoiding paying any money towards their upkeep, but despite several rows DH has still not put in a claim. The only way is if I do it, but as I am the stepmother not the biological parent, I wasn't clear from the website whether I was entitled to.

[FioFio]

yes you can

[FioFio]

you need financial advice though if he is still paying the mortgage!

[amigagal]

No choice, when the financial settlement went through ex wife wasn't working and would not get a mortgage by herself. So the boys got to stay in their home, part of the maintenance went direct to paying the mortgage. This is now a major problem as she won't agree to sell, and DH can't default on the mortgage.

[FioFio]

but the boys are living with you? surely this is within breech of the original court order?

[FioFio]

you need to see a lawyer or seek some kind of legal advice. If the children are no longer with her the house needs to be sold and decisions made appropriately in the boys interests

[amigagal]

It is horribly messy. Boys removed from ex wife last September by social services, due to state if the house (if you've seen those hoarder programmes on tv, that is what it was like). We took them in. Several months later we were in court to get permanent residency, but ex wife disputes it. So we are waiting for second court case in July. In the meantime, the mortgage on her house is still being paid by DH, and she's paying nothing.

[NotaDisneyMum]

I didn't think you could, but am prepared to defer to Fiofio - please could you expand?

The CSA refused to talk to me about my DPs case even though I was trying to make a payment on his behalf!

Presumably once residency is settled then the mortgage issue can be resolved and CSA sorted.

Alternatively, if your DP doesn't have any equity in the house, he could just stop paying the mortgage - yes, he'll be in breach of the CO, but his ex would have to take him back to court to enforce it and a good family lawyer could easily present a case justifying why.

[ballstoit]

Who's getting the Child Benefit for DSS's? If it's your DH, he'll have to CSA himself. But if it's you, then you can put a financial claim through CSA.

Whether that's a good idea, considering that your DH doesn't want you to, is a different question. Particularly as, knowing how slowly the CSA process things, residency will be properly sorted by the court before any progress is made in getting anything from DSS's mother.

[amigagal]

The mother has said to the boys she has no intention of ever giving their father any money. We have been in court for eight years on and off re. contact and maintenance. Unfortunately as child benefit is paid to DH it sounds as though I can't claim. BTW it is not that DH doesn't want me to, it is that he is really crap at sorting things like this out. In the meantime I am dipping into my savings every month to support the suddenly enlarged family, with no additional income.

[O2BNormal]

Is DH reluctant to make the claim? If so I really don't think you should do it against his wishes, even if you are able. Or is he just putting it off/being useless with the forms? Surely then you could do all the paperwork in his name for him to sign.

[ballstoit]

Well, you can request the forms, complete them and then hand them to DH to sign. Also, type up a letter giving permission to discuss the case with you, get him to sign it and include that with the forms when you return them. So, basically, you will sort it out but he will be making the claim in his name.

[catsmother]

Right .... if the problem is that DH is procrastinating about making the claim, as opposed to him having any other objections to making one in theory, then presumably there is nothing stopping you actually getting hold of the forms, filling them all out, as if you were him, and then asking him to sign them before they're popped in the post ?!

Otherwise, it's very unreasonable of him to expect your savings to cover the now increased costs in your household when in theory at least, he could - and should - be receiving maintenance from his ex.

[amigagal]

DH has agreed that if I complete the forms, he will sign them. Lucky me!

[catsmother]

I suppose that's better than nothing but v annoying that unless you put in the hard work, he'd just let the current situation drift until some unknown point in the future when he finally got his finger out. It's obviously best you attempt to stop the drain on your savings asap and in your shoes, I'd be filling out the forms due to that, but nonetheless he should be putting in the graft.

[FioFio]

notadisneymum, if your partner writes to the csa to say you can act on his behalf wrt the case then they have to speak to you.

[ElenorRigby]

Personally I'd leave the application until you have residency. Money can be a powerful incentive.

[ladydeedy]

residency can take ages to sort out if the mother objects so I would get moving on it pronto!

[planetpotty]

Kick DH up the arse!