What do Cafcass do?

[bonnymiffy]

DH is taking ex to court for better access and potentially residency. DSS is 10.
We used to live 10 mins walk away from her, but she moved to a small village an hour away (on a good journey), and we've also moved (but only 5 miles away from where we were before). Our move was planned long before hers, but she rents so can move much more quickly.
DSS had no choice in the move (kind of fair enough as he's 10) but he has moved schools and away from friends and his entire world has changed.
So, DH thinks we can get him back into his old school if he lives with us and generally make life happier for him. He is going to see Cafcass on Friday, and my understanding is that they will also speak to DSS. But, won't they want to speak to me? Doesn't seem that way. DH is expecting me to do half (probably more) of the childcare for DSS, so don't I get a look in? I'm currently planning to return to work after mat leave (DD is 10 months old and we do need the money), and the jobs I'm applying for are very much office hours, so not compatible with the dreaded school run that it seems I'll be doing.
Does anyone have any experience of Cafcass? Do they actually help, or they just another government organisation adding a layer of bureaucracy? What do they do? Anyone?

[Theyremybiscuits]

You don't come across very well, frankly.
This may be why you've not had any replies.

You seem slightly hung up on th dreaded school run etc and far less on the emotional aspects of your DSS and his family situation.

This child has been moved, yes, by him mum.
Have you actually spoken to him whether he would want to live with you?

Wonder why they moved? Read your OP.
Good luck.

[purpleroses]

Not much personal experience of Cafcass, but think the person you really need to speak to is your DP. I don't think Cafcass would expect to be mediating between the two of you - they're probably asking DP for his views, and they'll then talk to DSS and his mother for theirs and recommend what's best for DSS.

But if your DP is assuming you'll do aspects of DSS's care that you're not happy with, you need to talk to him. Cafcass won't do this for you, and if you did somehow manage to talk to them directly and told them that it's not really feasible for you to get DSS to school, etc, your DP would have wasted a lot of his time (and possibly money) and may have antagonised and worried his ex, and possibly DSS too all for nothing. You and DP need to decide together whether you want to have DSS to live with you first and only if you're both agreed that that's what's best should he go down the road of getting Cafcass involved.

[NotaDisneyMum]

CAFCASS were involved in DPs' residency and contact case with DSS (then 6) and DSD (then 12).

DP had an initial interview with CAFCASS immediately prior to the initial court hearing, and it was clear that he and exW were unable to agree, which is what they reported to the court at the initial hearing. There were no concerns raised about either parents ability to parent.

The court ordered a "wishes and feelings" report by CAFCASS - DP, exW, DSS and DSD were all seen separately by a CAFCASS officer and a report was written with recommendations to the court; the emphasis being on what the DC's wanted. No other adults in the DC's lives were spoken to, as the report did not address the practicalities of the arrangements proposed - just whether it was in the DC's emotional best interests.

Your DH is taking you for granted by expecting you to take responsibility for your DSS care in the event that he becomes resident parent; I can understand why you feel frustrated - but it cannot be blamed on the bureaucracy of Family Court

[bonnymiffy]

Thanks for the replies. DSS is desperately bored at his Mum's, and really wants to live with us. We do fun things with him, and hopefully encourage in him an enquiring mind, his Mum seems to spend large chunks of the day in bed, so he gets very little input from her. He is a lovely boy and I do want what's best for him, depsite how it might look from my original post. It's not that I don't want him to live here, I just (at the moment) can't see how it will work out if I go back to work (we can't afford for me not to). I guess on the basis of what the situation was even only a year ago I never saw this coming, so yes, theyremybiscuits I probably don't come across as well as I could. Just to add, we're now 6 miles away from DSS's old primary school - assuming we can get him back in which is what he wants, but that's a whole other battle waiting to happen, I fear.
NotaDisneyMum thanks, "wishes and feelings" report is what's happening here too - I was just after finding out someone else's experiences. I do feel frustrated, but that's not really why I posted originally. I thought that on the basis that if DH does become the RP, Cafcass might want to check me out too, at least to make sure I would have a positive impact on DSS, so I suppose I'm surprised as it doesn't seem to be as thorough an approach as I was expecting.