have you had fun in the snow?

[theredhen]

Dsc haven't been here this weekend and ds and I have had such fun today. I'm a big kids when it comes to snow and would always choose a winter holiday over a summer one if I had the money.

Ds has been mucking about with me all morning yesterday and then with a friend yesterday afternoon. three changes of clothes and more snow in his boots than outside!

I appreciate not everyone likes the snow at all and admit I would rather not drive in it if necessary but yet again I'm sad to hear my step children haven't stepped out of their house since they got in on Friday. The little one is only eight years old, why isn't mum building snowmen with her?

When they've been here I could only get one of four to come with me when it snowed. The others stayed in and sat in front of screens as usual.

Id like to say they're more summer time kids but they keep the curtains closed on a sunny day and sit on computers, again, even the youngest one.

I just don't get it and it makes me a bit sad for them.

[purpleroses]

I've had a lovely weekend. My own DCs were with their dad, and previously I've felt rather sad when they're with him when it snows. Like you, I'm a big kid and feel I'm missing out if they're not with me.

But this weekend I was with DP and his DCs. I discovered they'd never been sledging and didn't own a sledge, but spotted some for sale cheaply in a nearby shop on Saturday so bought them two sledges.

So DP and me took the younger two sledging for the first time in their lives and they loved it - DS2 preclaimed it to be "awesome" :)

The older two didn't come as his DD1 old had plans with friends, and his DS1 could not be prised from his computer.

DP's DCs are all a lot less confident or gung- ho as my own DCs (whom I'm sure would have been up a dawn with the snow and "snowboarding" down the slopes), but I'm learning accept the differences, feel proud in the way I have brought my own DCs up, and accept that DP's DCs are different people, and to start from where they are. If I can get the younger two out the house for a bit more fun and activity than they'd otherwise do, then that's good :)

[theredhen]

I wish the situation could be more like yours. There have been a couple of occassions where I did take youngest DSD roller and ice skating and she loved it (her mum refuses to take her) and I have taken her on bike rides (the bike her Mum bought her for her birthday 2 years ago has only been taken out once) but the others just won't do anything and youngest has to be coaxed.

It's lovely feeling to know you have taught them something new and brought something positive to their lives, but when there is four children who show such apathy the vast majority of the time, it rubs off onto DS and I feel frustrated with the whole situation.

I'm actually now considering doing some swapping around of weekends with my DS Dad so that I can have time with DS alone, with DP alone and with DSC alone.

[purpleroses]

Sounds very frustrating if they're just taking no interest in anything.

I'm finding what's working best is not to try and get the DCs all to do something, but just to focus on the younger two, who are more game (they're 9 and 11). They're really enjoying me being around lately, which is really nice. What is so much harder though is when I have mine too. Endless squabbles between our two youngest, and just so hectic with so many kids. I'm actually finding I enjoy the weekends when it's just DP's DCs more than when we're all together. Nice if you can manage to swap things a bit so that you get some time with just your DS. At the moment I can get that if I want at weekends as we still have our own houses. Think I will try and build in some things that I do just with mine and not DP's DCs once we are all under one roof, to give mine a bit of time apart.

I don't know if it's having lots of kids maybe makes people just kind of go for an easy life rather than try to get the kids to do things. Is it just all too hard work with four? DP is pretty slack about getting his DSs in particular off computers and doing anything else. And the only reason I'm succeeding with the younger two DCs is by ignoring the older two and leaving DS1 to his computer for hours on end, which I don't feel great about but there isn't really much I can do about it. Better than DS2 also on his computer, and DD2 just getting bored, which is what seems to happen a lot otherwise.

[theredhen]

Like you, I can get the youngest to take a bit of an interest, but she is also very fond of telling me what I am doing wrong, how Mummy or such and such is better and simply will not let me teach her anything because she knows best. So whilst I can get her to join in with some things, it's not a very enjoyable experience.

The others just don't want know. We were talking recently about our planned family holiday and my DP's two eldest were saying how boring it's going to be, how much they don't want to do anything despite all the activities on offer and whatever we offer for them to do. I expect it will be like every other family holiday and they will spend the entire holiday sitting in the holiday cottage and refusing to go out. I've bought board games, console games, sports equipment in the hope of getting some sort of interaction but I already just know that it will be wasted money!

Again, I take my own DS away separately later in the year and do lots and lots of activities, but I am aware it's easier to drum up some enthusiasm in one teenager than four of them whilst also having to consider a younger child too.

Lots of people have issues with DSC and their own children fighting and squabbling but I have more of an issue with them getting on too well. DS is very accommodating and often ends up with all five of them sitting in his bedroom critisising watching what he is doing. If I ask any one of them to come for a bike ride, walk, swim etc. I would get a "no thanks, that's boring" but if DS wants to come, they all want to come too.

I do know what you mean about it being easier without your own kids around - it kind of takes the pressure off, because you're not worrying about your own. It's also impossible to bring up 5 or 6 kids in the same way you would bring up 1 or 2. You have to let them "get on with it" to a certain extent as you can't physically do everything and be everywhere can you?

[scroogemcduck]

oh redhen. DSS spent the weekend with his Mum and said no-one would go out and help him make a snowman. They told him it was 'the wrong kind of snow' and took him round the shops instead. That seems to be the only way they know to amuse him. Makes me so sad for him

[theredhen]

I know we are all different and we all like different things, for example, I've never really been one for arts and crafts whereas I know some people really enjoy it.

But surely most kids want to go and play in the snow don't they?

[scroogemcduck]

I would have thought so, certainly DSS loves to if we take him and he was clearly embarrassed and pretty miffed that his Mum hadn't