how do i stop him walking out?

[ThatVikRinA22]

DS is 18, aspergers and as selfish as the condition allows sometimes.

he earns his own money from a part time job, but still expects me to bail him out when he needs and throws strops when i say no. (and i do say no - he earns more than me) he wont go to college half the time, citing ridiculous excuses, but at almost 19 i cant force him to go.

today is fathers day, and despite saying he had bought his father a card its not materialised. he kept saying he felt ill and wanted to be left alone.(i think this is due to the fact he stays up all night on the computer, he refuses to go to bed and it eventually catches up with him) ive tried to explain that he may have hurt his dads feelings, and tried to say how would he feel if i didnt give him a birthday card - so now he has done a bunk. i dont worry anymore, he does it so regularly.

sometimes he is lovely. other times i dislike him and the adult he is becoming intensely. is this it? are we just going to become more and more distant the more selfish he behaves? i worry thats what will happen. ive worked so hard with him on the aspergers, it was diagnosed early, and ive done everything i possibly could to help him understand social situations, feelings, how to look after himself etc, yet none of it seems to have worked. i hate to say it, but he is a slob. he is lazy, dirty, and just wants to be left alone to rot away in his pit of a bedroom, with no distractions, which i feel i am.

where do i go from here do you think?

[ThatVikRinA22]

bumping in case anyone is out there with words of wisdom

he has come back. muttered that he doesnt like being shouted at and slammed off upstairs.

for the record - he says im shouting when im not. if he doesnt like my tone of voice he says im shouting. its not a sensory issue - he can slam a door far louder than me.

he is being completely unlikeable and im finding him increasingly difficult to live with.

[ThatVikRinA22]

well, thanks to Victorian dad on the AIBU thread we are sorted - i used that thread to demonstrate hurt feelings. he came back after a walk to cool down. all ok now.