Not quite sure what to make of this........

[QueenOfQuotes]

was at Gullivers Land (Milton Keynes) with DS1's nursery trip today. When he and 2 of his friends were playing in one of the soft play areas a group of 4 older children came in - each with an individual carer . I'm guessing that they had SN - but wouldn't like to hazard a guess (as the mother of 2 NT DS's) what type.

Anyhow, we were just about to leave as the boys wanted to go "on a train" (hope they don't think we left because they came in ). I sat DS1 (4 1/2yrs) down on the bench to put his shoes on, and on of the other children (I'd guess about 10-12yrs old) was sat next to him have his shoes taken off by the carer.

He pointed at DS1 and said "What that". I guessed (having a 20 month old who asks "wa dat" for asking the name of anything/one) that he was asking "who's that" and was about to say "That's DS1's name" when the carer pulled his arm back and said (I thought) very abrubtly (nearly shouting!)

"it's not what that, it's who's that.....oh and you DON'T point either"

The boy looked really shocked (god knows how I looked) and we left without me actually telling this boy DS1's name.

That happen about 10.30 this morning and it's been playing on my mind all day. Can't help wondering how his mum would have felt hearing him spoken to like that - and it just seemed such a horrible way to talk/treat him.

In fact I actually feel a little guilty that I didn't just continue with what I was going to say as I was also going to encourage DS1 to say hello.

[coppertop]

I certainly wouldn't be too thrilled about ds1 being treated like that. You can correct a child's language without putting them down or snapping at them. A simple, "Who's that? That's X" or even "Who's that? I don't know." Having waited so long for my two boys to point I would be thrilled that they were doing that spontaneously!

[Dingle]

That's just so sad!! Like CT has said,there are ways in which to attempt to correct language, and by this sort of snappy, abrupt response, it is likely that the poor child won't even bother trying next time!
You have no reson to feel guilty but I can understand that you wish you'd had a chance to say hello. It would have made the situation so much better. You thoughts were there though!

[Merlot]

. How awful. That has made me feel so sad - I too just cant bear the thought that ds2 might end up with people looking after him like that.

[JakB]

Oh, that's really awful. Makes me shudder. I saw a similar thing a few years ago at Drusillas zoo near here. I saw an young woman with learning difficulties laughing and her 'carer' held her really roughly by the arm and told her to 'shut up... what's so bloody funny... stop f laughing'. It was before DD was diagnosed but I knew something was up and I still think of it to this day. That young woman was so vulnerable

[edam]

That's horrible. Unfortunately some people are attracted to working with people with learning difficulties for the wrong reasons... they enjoy ordering someone else around, for instance.

My sister works with people with learning difficulties (and gets very cross with behaviour like this carer's) and says where she lives, it's a good, realiable wage so you get people who really shouldn't be in the job. Sadly. Hopefully your dds and dss will only come across people like my sister, though.