High Down's Syndrome risk from 12 week scan

[Mitford]

I have already posted this on the pregnancy board, but a couple of people suggested mentioning it over here where I have asked for advice a few times anyway.

We had our 12 week scan this week where they also did the various tests for Down's. The NT and nasal bone were both fine but the baby had vicuspid regurgitation (leaky heart), giving us an overall probability of 1/36 for the baby having Down's Syndrome.

My wife's first son (my stepson) is seven and severly disabled with global development delay, so it throws up so many thoughts for me.

How we'd cope with two disabled children?

How my wife would cope emotionally with feeling knowing she had produced two disabled children with different fathers and that it must therefore be her "fault" (this is my biggest worry in a lot of ways)?

The fact that in a child with Down's would probably be less severe than our other child and whether I should feel lucky just for that.

The fact that even if we get a negative result for Down's it could be an indicator of another chromosonal problem (the same as my stepsons? They have never been able to find anything abnormal with him genetically, but that is of course a very possible root of his difficulties).

I am trying to concentrate on the 35/36 rather than the 1/36 but it isn't easy.

We (hopefully) get the results of our CVS on Friday.

Sorry for the long post.

[Mitford]

Oh, and I meant tricuspid regurgitation, of course. I'm used to posting in another place where you can type lazily and edit afterwards.

[MannyMoeAndJack]

At the end of the day, when all the information is available, only you and your dw can make a decision as to whether to proceed with the pregnancy or not. Something like this is hugely personal. The important thing though, is that any decisions you make are the right ones for you and your family.

[Blu]

There is a wealth of experience on the SN about being a parent to a child with DS - search some of Thomcat's posts about Lottie.

Also parents who have more than one disabled child...and some who have found it too daunting. Maybe one of them will be along soon. You might get a more helpful response with a new thread on this board asking specifically for parents of more than one child with SN, or parents with DS or experience of tricuspid regurgitation - or all three in one thread title!

It's just that sometimes people on the SN board only open threads where they think they can offer specific help, if they are rushing through in a quiet moment!

As far as I know (and I know nothing, really, except what i have read here) DS is not usually passed on from a parent, so the (natural - we all do it) fears that your wife is 'responsible' aren't necessarily founded in fact. I know there is one form of DS which is thought to be connected to hereditary transmission - but I thought mainly it wasn't.

[Mitford]

They have just called us early to give us some very good news. We are having a little girl and she doesn't have Down's.

The fact that she is a girl is great as a brother to my stepson would have been far more likely to share any condition my stepson has.

I think we would have continued the pregnancy (although I have every respect towards those that choose not to) but it would have been very difficult to continue with the relative degree of normality that we manage now (both working etc). I am thrilled as you can imagine.

Thanks for your best wishes.

[BINAH]

Thanks for sharing the good news..I wish you all the best trough pregnancy.Big hug....aand congratulations...Having a litle girl is lovely....

[TinySocks]

I am really happy for you! Congratulations! Enjoy planning the arrival of your little baby girl.

[2shoes]

Mitford awww so pleased for you. little girls are so lovely

[MannyMoeAndJack]

Great news and must be a huge relief!