Touching hugging kissing others, humming clicking making noises! Ideas on how to reduce ?

[magso]

Ds is 8 and has LD, ADHD, ASD traits and limited language. He goes to an integrated MLD/ASD school, where some of the children are touch or sound defensive. Ds is in nearly constant motion, makes lots of repetative sounds, and touches everything and everyone. These behaviours disrupt both class and play and are not easy out and about. We are rewarding hands to self in half day steps (via home school book), and giving lots of hugs and appropriate physical play and touch at home, but the other behaviours have got worse in class. We are going through lots of bubble stuff before school to try and wear his kissy lips out!
Has anyone any ideas?
Thankyou in advance.

[macwoozy]

I'll be watching this one. My ds makes a lot of different loud noises in class and at home. His yelping goes right through me. Bloody annoying I can tell you.

[KarenThirl]

Ds has AS but stims quite a bit when stressed or anxious. I've managed to limit quite a bit by helping him to learn about managing his emotions, staying calm and not getting anxious so that he doesn't need to use these 'undesirable' methods of self-calming. However, I've recognised that he does need the opportunity to do some things so I set him a time when he can build it into his day in a less anti-social way. Eg, he has a habit of crossing his arms and skipping sideways so I've told him it's not appropriate in public but he can do it if he needs to at home. So we get him side-skipping up and down the hall for a bit but he now realises it's not acceptable outside.

For us it's been about recognising the need but also balancing with what's socially acceptable. If you try to stop the behaviour altogether it'll make it more desirable and harder to control, so you have to make allowances for it somehow.

J's quite kissy-huggy too, especially at mealtimes. I just keep repeating Not Appropriate and tell him we can hug later at a more suitable time, but it's not right when people are eating.

[magso]

Thanks Karen.
So do you think the touching and constant noises/ repeated sounds are a form of stimming? Ds can be quite intolerant of others noise (vacuum, kettle, my humming) and is intolerant to labels, zips, and stiffer fabrics - but he seems to be compulsive with touching and noises and needs hard hugs, playful wrapping etc!
Can stimms be replaced by less annoying things? (thats why I'm letting him play bubbles before school!)
Hes got a thing for the words 'Garnier' (from the advert at least it is said whistfully) and a stacatto repetition of 'Yuyah' - I have searched out a copy of the Hallelula Chorus in an attempt to get a more tuneful rendition! I have no idea if letting him join in with the music ( appropriate)will reduce the constant 'yuyah-ing or if it will make it worse!
School are telling him that kissing and hugging are only for family.

[ancientmiddleagedmum]

I am as I write stopping my little boy's stimming which is saying "eeeee eeeee eeeee" all the time. One tip my ABA tutors have given me is quite good and might work for other stims, but I'm not sure. Anyway, I'll share it here just in case it is of use to anyone. Basically, for it to work he has to be holding or doing something he really likes - so for instance, my DS will often be carrying around a little toy, which has become his latest favourite. I take it off him, then say "do you want this?". He obviously does want it, but before he gets it back he has to work for it. So I put my finger to my lips, say "sssssh, be quiet", and then make a hand movement almost like that one Amy Winehouse does for "no no no" in the rehab song as I count up to 10 seconds. After 10 seconds if he has been quiet, I give him loads of praise - "good boy, you were quiet, you get your toy!!!!". Gradually you get it from 10 seconds up to a minute. I hold eye contact with my boy when I'm doing it and if he makes a noise, I look cross, take eye contact away and then repeat the whole procedure ("do you want this toy, ok then ssssh be quiet" etc). I have managed to get him up to a minute and it is such a lifesaver when I am in a situation where he has to be quiet, or when I just need some peace! Eventually, maybe I won't have to go through the whole process but will just do the hand movement, or say be quiet. That's the theory anyway.
After bathtime he is allowed to eeeeee as it's his own time. For a long while I would say "no eeeeeee till bathtime", and now I think he sort of has the idea that he shouldn't do that stim till he goes upstairs for bath.
Hope that over-long post helps or gives someone a spark or an idea that might work for their DC's stim.

[cyberseraphim]

I think I will try that. DS is obsessed with 'pretending' that everything that has any resemblance to a piece of string is a helicopter - he makes it the rotablades and says 'he gogga' all the time as he spins it round ! Daffodils are particularly vulnerable to being turned into helicopter blades.

[allytjd]

DS 2 is stimming right now, he waggles a small toy about and makes shooting noises, drives me nuts, I thought it was play at first (if very repetitive) but as i learnt more about ASD i realised it was stimming, he tells me he does it to relax or if he is bored and he can be diverted if he is offered an alternative activity. He does not do it in class but he runs up and down on his own in the playground, from what he says it is as though he has to get it out of his system before he goes back in, unfortunately it seems to be the main thing that stops him from playing with his friends as he does not have time to do both! In class he has started chewing his clothes recently, anyone know where you can get safe chewy pencil tops? These behaviours are the only obviously ASD things he still does at 7 and I am hoping they will diminish with age.

[magso]

Allytid Ds chews his collar constantly so I just throw them away regularly as they get tatty. There was a thread a while back on chewing alternatives - apparently there is a jaw exerciser (it is key sized and T shaped). I decided to stick with collars as Ds looses things and the shirt is always there!
I am aware these behaviours are compulsive, but hadn't realised it could be stimming. ( The spinning around, jiggling and handflapping are more obvious stims) We are still coming to terms with the possibility Ds could have autism as it was dismissed when he was younger. Ds also likes making sort of 'pishy' shooting noises with a toy- my sympathy!

[magso]

Cyber ds has a helicopter fanatism also! His first exclusion from school (at age 4) was for decapitatting daffodils! He tends to cuddle them (too hard) nowadays! Now its sycamore seeds- hopefully we have a couple of weeks till they start falling off the trees and that gets into full swing!
MAM thankyou for your suggestions. I too use a sh sign and hand stop sign, followed by praise, but without the timing. Its given me the idea to pass the hand signs onto his teacher. So much seems 'normal' for us ( hand signs) but I forget not for everyone!