disabled brownie rant - bit of a AIBU

[Cappuccino]

dd1 who has cp has just started Brownies

her Brown Owl said she could not start without one to one help so we recruited a teenager - of course we are paying her

but there is another Brownie due to start who is also disabled, not as severely affected as dd (but because she is not as affected she does not need a walking frame like dd does, so she is easily knocked over. dd is very firm on her feet, being supported with steel at four corners ) and she has not been asked to provide a supporter. The girl's mum is a friend of mine

My mum was talking to Brown Owl and mentioned this other girl, and Brown Owl said that they were hoping that when she started, my dd's supporter could help with her too

Now I think this is a bit of a blardy cheek, asking the most disabled child who happens to be passing to provide a supporter for someone else. I am paying this girl, I sorted it out, and she is my employee not Brownies'. If they had approached me and her mum together we could have sorted something out together, I know her mum would have been okay with that. But instead they have said that my daughter needs a supporter, and said nothing at all to her

anyway I have just got a message from Brown Owl asking me for the teenage girl's phone number so she can ring her. I have emailed back to say she can tell me anything she wishes me to pass on and I will talk to the girl when she comes to pick up dd

Do you think I need to ring Brown Owl and make clear that this girl is not an extra helper at Brownies, she is my paid employee, and if she wants to start dictating what she does and doesn't do with other children it should come through me? I don't know what the message is or what she wants to talk about but surely whatever it is, large or small, it is MY business since she is my employee?

[TotalChaos]

How very irritating, Brown Owl seems to have handled this rather discourteously to say the least. I can see why you are livid - you found, recruited and are paying for the helper after all!

[2shoes]

i would ring brown owl
Hopefully she has just messed up due to a lack of expeirence with sn issues.
point out that the teenager is your dd's carer employed by you. so any desicions about sharing her are up to you. good luck I hope it works out.

[yurt1]

Of course she shouldn't be generally helping. You're paying her to help your dd. I think you do need to talk to Brown owl.

[hecate]

YES! Phone her and tell her off! and you need to speak to the girl too, to tell her that if she is asked to do other things (because they'll probably try it on anyway, no matter what you say) that she is to say no, she is there solely for X, employed by you.

[needmorecoffee]

she's a bit unreasonable. m now freakin g that my dd can't go to Brownies. We couldn't afford a helper for her

[2shoes]

nmc don't panic one of dd's school freinds goes and her care is provide by outreach.

[Peachy]

It's a bloody cheek, no question!

ASk Brown owl for the number of the GG Disability Advisor in her area- there is one. Have a long chat with her, as her role is to increase access to all girls! Brown Owl may not be very worldly (trust me, was a rainbow Guider- many are not) but thre should be someone co-ordinating all this.

FWIW we'd never have done this at my group althougha ccess was admittedly an issue as the Hall was built into the Church tower- though I'd have grabbed thee xcuse to flee from the premises tbh LOL!

[Peachy]

BTW- suggest that they ask an older Guide or a Young leader to come in and help out the otehr girl, I'm very surprised that theya ren't doing that already with your DD tbh- there's often a surplus of older Guides wanting to help with the younger girls, the older Guides can often count such activities towards awards etc.

[Cappuccino]

there is a precedent for this because there is an older girl with cp who has had a helper since she started a couple of years ago

she is more severely affected than dd but I think they do base decisions about dd on what they have done with her which is a bit because they both have frames

[Cappuccino]

but I will ask the Brown Owl for the advisor's number - thanks

[coppertop]

That's so cheeky! It's bad enough that you had to pay for a helper in the first place but for the Brown Owl to take it upon herself to give the helper more to do is just taking the p*ss.

[misdee]

nmc, dd1 brownie packs have several girls who are disabled, there is a parent-helper plus extra 'guide' there as well.