Advice please, mums of Aspies!

[catok]

Reading lots of great advice on this thread - would like your advice!
DS is 9 and dx Asperger's + dyspraxia. He's hiding under the tables a lot in the classroom (LSA tells him to stop having a hissy fit!) particularly when it is busy/noisy. He's also started self-exiting, going downstairs, and hiding under staircase.
Headteacher shouted at him to stop being naughty.
Mainstream school knows his dx. NQT teacher is, I think, scared of his reactions - leaves it to CA and LSA (not 1-1).
Help, please!

[daisy5678]

They need to do some training about sensory issues! NAS does some good courses. I would print some stuff off for them - again, NAS has some good info, and I would ask for a meeting to discuss 'strategies' (that dreaded word). They need to be pro-active in reducing his need to leave the room and to pre-empt situations where he reacts in this way. My son does the same.

They need to be spoken to ASAP. My son does all that and worse - hitting staff and throwing furniture when it all gets too much - but they never call him naughty cos they GET it! Good luck in educating them...you could always consider applying for a statement if he needs 1:1 - my son's full time person knows him well and can often pre-empt anxiety so can talk him round or take him to a quiet room.

Good luck.

[dgeorgea]

catok,

How well do you understand autism? Sorry to ask but as parents we need to be our kids best advocate, especially in schools where they do not understand the issues.

Many are sensitive to noise and this can be very alarming. The same with when there is a lot happening around them.

Self exiting is not being naughty, it is an important part in self manangement of his aspergers.

Children with Aspergers have to work very hard to maintain control at mainstream schools. It is not always possible for them to do this and it is when they feel out of control and unable to cope that much of the disruptive behaviour kicks in.

Your son is finding a safe place where he can calm down and regain control. It is quite a mature approach and if understood appreciated.

This is a well established technique in helping children with Aspergers to cope within mainstream. What the school should be doing is finding a way to enable him to let the teacher know he needs a time out and providing a place where he can go and calm down.

The HT shouting at him and telling him he is naughty is just making things worse and would be stressing him out much more. For one thing he is not being allowed to calm down. It is also undermining his confidence and besides which he is NOT being naughty.

The school has external agencies it can go to to get advice and help on how to help your son cope much better in their school. But they do need to ask for the help.

As hard as it is to understand many schools and teachers do not understand autism or the range of effects it can have on individuals. If his teacher is an NQT the chances are they will have no idea about it.

If the school is reluctant to do anything there are things you can do. Contact the education psychologist and explain what is going on and ask for help. Your local authority should have a designated person responsibility for child safety, this is someone else you can approach.

Someone you may not think about is your local councillor. Some are much better then others, however they are in the position to talk to people you would probably not have access to and bring pressure onto the school from above. I have successfully used this route.

However your understanding the issues and being able to explain them are going to be the key in being able to advocate for your son.

If your sons diagnosis is new, or you are not sure/confident in explaining it all give ta.forumup.org/ to the HT, class teacher, CA, LSA and SENCO.

It is a support forum for teaching assistants and includes a range of support staff and a parent with experience and understanding of autism. They are very supportive and non judgemental when people are genuinely looking for support and help. It does have a folder specifically for autism/aspergers.

Hopefully at least one of them will bother to at least check it out because by the sound of it they are doing everything wrong!

[dustystar]

Does he have a statement?

[coppertop]

Do you have any contact with an OT? They do school visits and can give the staff advice about sensory issues. If you have a local Autism Outreach team they can do this too.

Teachers don't get much information about SN during their training so it's likely that the NQT knows very little about AS. As others have suggested it may be worth printing out some NAS info for her.

The HT was wrong to shout at your ds. As dgeorgea says, your son trying to find a quiet place to calm down in is a good thing. It's good that he recognises that he is having trouble coping and is looking for a 'safe' place.

[catok]

Thank you all! No, he doesn't have statement beacuse I am constantly told that his academic progress and behaviour are too good generally - although we started thinking about it last time he had a meltdown, and school said they would not support it. They made their part of the form sound really bland, like I'm a parent looking for a problem!
Have had 3 years support from Camhs, since dx - DS went to children's support gp and they said his self-esteem is really low. Hard for us to build him up when school knocks him down!
Sounds daft this - I'm an ex teacher working with SN now - but that can make it very hard to see the wood for the trees, and to keep a clear mind. Thanks for advice - I'll be demanding another discussion of strategies asap.
It's so good to find people who know how I'm feeling!

[dgeorgea]

catok,

Not a course I would recommend normally as I do believe in trying to work with the school before going to extremes. 3 years???

However from your last post it would seem the only course of action left to you is to take it much further, ie formal complaint against the school, tribunal or whatever.

I don't have experience on how to proceed with this but hopefully another parent may help.

They are in breach of the SEN code of practice, while schools don't have to follow it they are judged by it. I also suspect they may be breaking the disability discrimantion laws. He has a diagnosis and it is being ignored. Unfortunately there are schools and head teachers who do this.

If you do talk to the school again and they tell you there is no problem just state that he is diagnosed with autism and the behaviour he is exhibiting are part of this and they are failing to deal with it either effectively or appropriately. They probably won't appreciate being told that, but they have been warned if you decide to take it further.

[Whizzz]

I'm a TA & supported a pupil at secondary with Aspergers. We give kids a time out room if it's all getting too much. Telling a child not to have a hissy fit, isn't really much use ! Surely he/she would be better trying to pre-empt the situation & prevent it ??!But I'm sure you don't need me to tell you that!Has the LSA had experience of Aspergers ?? I remcommend the book 'Freeks, Geeks & Aspergers' - very good for trying to see the world from their point of view

[catok]

Many thanks for all advice and support!
Going into school tomorrow to fight his corner again.
dgeorgia - I've printed off stuff from the link you gave me, and DDA info - you're a star!
He came home yesterday 'challenged' to get changed from PE in 3 minutes - I just laughed, so must be feeling a bit better.

[dgeorgea]

Your welcome.

Good luck with the meeting.