I hate schools

[bobalinga]

After a term of going in for 9am which required a 7am getting up I have switched C to being picked up at 10.30 and bought back at 3.15 (means she'll arrive at 4) Because this was her first time in school over lunch I cycled over there (nearly killed me in this wind). Arrived and she is sat alone in the classroom with a helper covered in orange goo and screaming her head off (she's 3) I had told them she doesn't eat in a chair, only on a lap, thats its taken us 2 years to get over her oral defensiveness caused by tubes and stuff in her first year and we have to be careful with feeding. Do they listen? No, they don't. So I hoicked her out, cleaned her up and fed her myself. Asked why she wasn't with the other kids and got no good answer. Then I had to tackle the stupid chair. Its aSN one but I had requested a normal head-rest. They've put a V-shaped on on that prevents C moving her head and looking round. The OT then said they'd try it for a couple of weeks. No way, I said, save the grief and get a flat one, she doesn't like it. Hostile looks at interfering mother. They claim they can't buy one. So now I have to send in the one from home. ffs.
So I get her cleaned up and discover that there are 2 adults to 5 kids (C's statement says she requires one to one AT ALL TIMES) but if Ihadn't been there she'd of been left lying on the floor (she can't sit, roll or see) all by herself crying.
At this rate they will traumatise hr and make her school phobic. I hate schools and if it wasn't for DH insisting he wanted to go back to work I'd home educate her like I do my others. But I can't look after her alone as I have MS.
So am feeling all Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr now.

[coppertop]

That sounds awful! I hope you get some answers from someone at the school. Surely they have to provide what's on the statement?

[twoisplenty]

Bobalinga, is it a ms school or special school?

[2shoes]

aww that is shit.
sorry to hear you are having such a rough time.

[bobalinga]

Special school and to be honest, some of it is great. Its just that some of the support staff are dense, the main teacher who is full of enthusiasm and energy has been away for weeks and no doubt the LEA is cutting corners by not fudning one to one for C while she is only part time.
She's got a statement review in June so I will go in all guns blazing and tell them how its going to be.
But I am fed up with how ALL schools don't listen and see you as interfering rather than a partner. I am an expert on C. I know her subtle communication signs, I know how she is feeling and I know what is best for her.
There's nothing I can do about the stupidly long taxi journey into school (its only 7 miles but often takes well over an hour due to traffic in this city. TRaffic of able bodies who could catch the bus and clear the roads for us disabled as I can't afford to live near the school (in a posh area) but I am going to make life inside school be as it should be for C to learn.
But I do feel guilty subjecting a 3yo to school. We're doing it as respite care as DHwill divorce me if I don't. He's her main carer and is knackered.

[twoisplenty]

"But I do feel guilty subjecting a 3yo to school. We're doing it as respite care as DHwill divorce me if I don't. He's her main carer and is knackered." That certainly sounds familiar - my ds started sn school at 2y 9 months of age, doing 3 full days (9am till 3.30pm, so arriving home at 4.45pm).

the guilt was horrible, and the worry etc, but actually it was the best thing for both of us, he gained confidence, made progress and it widened his horizons. and it gave me a much needed rest, and support.

However, ds school was/is v good, and does listen. Its unbearable not to be listened to and your instructions not carried out. This time of life is extremely stressful, and you need all the support from school you can get.

I fully agree - the staff need to know you will stand your ground.

[MrsWho]

If she has a statement it doesn't amtter if she is p/t.I did some o/t spporting a boy who was new to school and needed a 1:1 and he only attended 2 days.

[bobalinga]

DH is going into the school on Monday to observe the feeding and to demand the correct headrest for the chair and the one to one support.
We'll see how that goes.