Asd diagnosis inconclusive

[madwomanacrosstheroad]

My 15 year old daughter was finally getting assessed for asd after a year on the waiting list.
She is on a mission to not be diagnosed.
She walked out of her clinical psychologist appointment claiming she needed to be somewhere else.
The assessment now concluded that they can't reach a conclusion as dd will not engage with the process and due to her age can make her own decisions re treatment.
I can see the logic but I am left managing her meltdowns and smashing of house, screaming, shouting and school refusal without support. Also have other children who are stressed.
What now???

[Meloncoley2]

That's tricky. Does she recognise her difficulties?

[madwomanacrosstheroad]

She is refusing to accept that there is something wrong. She states it is all my fault. She is statemented and the ed psych report states that her presentation is in line with asd. Also does not sleep at night, has melt downs and gets quite violent which is impacting on the other kids. Had got various services involved who quickly disappeared advising us we are not meeting their criteria as coping too well in terms of functioning as a family, communicating etc.
Wondering if trying to get an assessment done privately is the best next step.
Basically she walked out of her apt stating she needed her hair cut and then sat in their waiting room until our part -taking of developmental history -was completed.
No second appointment was offered. I can see the logic of her being old enough to make decisions about medical treatment and I could have handled a diagnosis that it is not asd but basically having waited for a year (at that point she was more compliant) only to be told it's not conclusive due to her refusal to engage and without more effort to engage her is really annoying.

[madwomanacrosstheroad]

I know something "wrong" is not the best way of putting it. I have explained it to the kids as different operating systems or different wiring of the brain and had tried to engage her with the concept of better understanding of exactly how her brain works.
She is very interested in history and untypically is very good at football. One of her latest current intense interests is to be non -female. I don't think she is actually trans as it was quite overnight, I think it is more that this will give her a to her more acceptable explanation for being different and alleviates the pressure to have relationships involving physical contact.
EWO is involved. We are trying to move her from her current selective girls grammar school to a co -ed school where girls are allowed to wear trousers which also has asd specialists on the team. It is probe by more me who needs an answer /explanation.

[speechiesusie]

I'm an SLT - I'm on a diagnostic team privately and in the NHS.

I would immediately conduct a DISCO assessment in the case of your daughter. I'd also do a sensory profile.

You need to ask for that. I

[GraciesMansion]

I'm also part of a multi-agency diagnostic ASD team and in these circumstances the assessment would not proceed since it sounds like your dd doesn't want a diagnosis. If she has a statement and her needs are well understood anyway then it may be that a diagnosis will not add anything new to the picture anyway. However, depending on where you live it may improve access to services. It wouldn't here, there isn't any post diagnostic provision. Tricky situation.

[Ineedmorepatience]

I dont think you would be able to force a 15 yr old to have an assessment but we did do a DISCO without Dd3 being present!

If most proffs believe she has Asd and you believe it too then why not just implement strategies that are known to be successful with people with Asd?

Read as much as you can about women with Asd and try to find what works for you and your Dd!

Getting a diagnosis wont be a magic key to services because in my experience they dont exist! If she already has a statement then she us probably already accessing everything available!

Also remember being 15 is hell on legs, especially with the pressure of school now! Cut her as much slack as you can and reduce demands as far as possible!

Try to love her even when she is being vile, she almost certainly isnt doing it on purpose!

[ouryve]

speechiesusie I think the problem for the OP isn't what she's asking for, or even what she's being offered, but that her DD is mistrusting the process and wants none of it. and coperate, which is not easy, at that age.

madwoman I can't add to what other people have said. The key is getting your DD to identify. Not an easy ask at her age.

I'm pretty unflappable (ie impenetrable) and had an uncharacteristic meltdown at 15.

[madwomanacrosstheroad]

We do have a voluntary asd service involved who offers support, training of parents and at least little bits of ABA. They have agreed to continue to remain involved. Going down the private route does not really make sense as these assessments are not really multi disciplinary and not necessarily universally recognised. I can see even with my frustration the issue around consent and human rights, however access to some services or benefits to access services would be a huge help. We have a good bit of evidence of a number of people involved and especially the ed psych report as during that time she was more cooperative.